I have been sick for 3 days with the flu and I simply asked my husband to go to the end of the road this morning to put a paid bill in the mail and when I woke up today (did not go to bed til 6 AM because was taking care of a sick child myself as well) he had not put the bill in the mail. So now I have to go out with the flu and he is napping so I have to take my sick kid with me to the post office because the postal worker has already left our area for the day. Before going to his nap (he is on holiday vacation from work) he hands me a shopping list of things he needs!! He does do the dishes and laundry here and there, but I do those things too and I do the rest of the housework by myself on top of taking care of the bills, vehicles, child and I will be working outside the home come fall when my daughter starts Kindergarten. He tells people he likes me staying at home, but he tells me I don't bring in an income so the Bible says I have to serve him basically. Am I right to be mad?
2006-12-28 07:09:18 · 11 answers · asked by 2007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not to mention the first three years we were married, been together 4... I was also a student finishing my BA degree and I had to do that on my own time by skipping nights of sleep because he wouldn't help out with the child. But when he is working on course work, and is he is older than me, he tells us to pretend he is at work so leave him alone. He invites people over to dinner often and then he doesn't help out, all the cooking and cleaning falls on me. I'm a military wife and it's not like I have family here to help out at all.. it's just me.
2006-12-28 07:11:38 · update #1
You do have a right to be mad. Especially since you are sick he needs to step up and be a MAN and take care of things so that you can get the rest that you need to get better faster. Being a parent is 50/50 not 90/10. Tell him he needs to step up and help you because you need the help and you shouldn't have to do everything especially when you are sick. We are in the 21st century now, not 1800! The woman has an equal role in the household and he needs to do his share! Hope i've helped!
2006-12-28 07:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by Lori J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Umm. Yes, you have the right to be mad. It sounds EXACTLY like my husband used to be (also in the milirary, but without the Bible reference). I was in grad school, working full time, taking care of the child and the house by myself, and entertaining his friends. If he would have people over, I would say, "I have to work on my thesis". He would say? "It can wait. You've already been working on it for a year, why hurry now?". Jerk. I'd say, "yeah, I've been working on it a year, which is pretty average, but I would have had it done sooner if I'd have a little help with house things and the baby and got more than 2 and 3 hours of sleep a night." No good. What did I do. I let the housework go. When he complains, tell him you just don't have time with everything else. Or just do a little bit of it. Also, remind him that the Bible also says a man is supposed to honor and love his wife and respect her, not take advantage of her and work her like a pack mule, so he can be lazy. Plus the whole women "keeping quiet in the church" and not working outside of the home and all that, I think, were part of the old testament. Not that the old testament isn't important today, but it is my understanding the new testament provides different guidelines for this dispensation, following the birth of Christ. I'm not a Bible reader, so I'm sorry if I'm totall incorrect.
2006-12-28 15:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be pissed not just mad. You're his mother not his wife. I hate when men say their wife doesn't work. I feel that a stay at home mother is one of the hardest jobs in the world. You should expect some help and a really man should step up and help take care of his sick wife and child. He sounds like a selfish 2 year old.
2006-12-28 15:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey he is a jerk it does not matter if you do not bring in a income...the man works yes but he still should be taking care of the financial responsibilities. He is being a jerk about it because he thinks as you as a servent not a wife. You need to not get rid of him but try to talk to him about it maybe set up a deal like he takes care of the finance part and takes out garbage...ect...what ever you deem fit so you are not so run down!
2006-12-28 16:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit him down and talk to him about how you are feeling in a non confrontational way. Unfortunately there are a lot of men like your husband. Being mad about the situation doesnt help you and I know its hard.if you cant get through to him maybe you both need to see a proffesional.
I hope it works out for you.
2006-12-28 15:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be mad, did he suddently forget the part about "in sickness and in health", and we are not in the caveman days, every spouse needs to be treated equally and with respect.
2006-12-28 15:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your husband is neglecting his responsibilities, and this will not improve when your daughter starts kinder and you go back to work. You will still be responsible for everything.
2006-12-28 15:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be mad, very mad, I am not going to tell you what you should do but I can tell you yes, you have a right to be mad.
2006-12-28 15:26:09 · answer #8 · answered by Gee-Gee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get rid of him or go to counseling he is not fair
2006-12-28 15:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not you. You married a jerk. An unkind, uncaring jerk.
2006-12-28 15:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋