I want to keep the baby and my girlfriend does not?

Question

I am a successful Real Estate Officer, I make enough money to support my wife and our family. Her last period was the 7th of October. We found out she was pregnant on the 13 of November. It is now the 29th of December and she wants to get an abortion, which I am totally against NOW. I told her that I would support her decision when we first found out, but she decided to keep it and even made me tell my family. Now she wants to have an abortion. I don't know what to do, my mind is in disarray. One day she wants the baby and the next she doesn't. I am breaking down emotionally and I dont know what else I can do.

Answer 1

Well, regardless of how this all came about, please try to talk her out of an abortion. If you have cheated on your wife and gotten a girlfriend pregnant (the way you word this is a little confusing here), then you don't correct one wrong (adultery) with another (murder).

If she doesn't want to keep the child and raise it as her own, there are so many other options. Many loving, good couples who desperately want children and can't have any of their own. Put the baby up for adoption, but you should both see this through because this is a natural consequence of a decision that you both freely made.

The freedom to choose comes BEFORE you go to bed together. Afterwards, if a baby's on the way, then a BABY is ON THE WAY. Neither you nor she have to keep it as your own to raise him or her, but allow the poor little thing to be born!

Please let her know that you will support her decision to keep the child, or her decision to give it up for adoption. But it's time the both of you did the right thing and live up to your responsibilities and the consequences of your actions. If that means giving birth to a baby you don't have to keep, then that risk was the choice each of you made when you tumbled into bed together.

Answer 2

I wish I could tell you that there was something you can do but if she chooses to have an abortion the law does not allow you stop her from doing so. You should tell her what you told us in your last sentence. Maybe that will help. I wish you the best and hopefully she will decide to keep the baby. Take Care.

Answer 3

You two need to seek some pastoral counseling. This is obviously a very emotionally traumatic decision for both of you. Despite any preconceived notions you may have, not all pastoral counselors would necessarily advise you against an abortion.

Answer 4

It sounds like something has scared her. It seems odd that the two of you would tell the family and then decide to “de-gift”. Could a family member be persuading her decision? The two of you should really be on the same page otherwise one of you will have some real regrets which intern could sabotage your relationship.

Answer 5

No you shouldnt. Neither of them are your duty. She replaced into your female pal and the toddler isn't yours. it somewhat isn't any longer uncomplicated to computer screen somebody you cared approximately decrease to rubble their existence particularly in the event that they're a threat to their very own relatives besides. you should be completely useful and tell social amenities that the toddler is being neglected then a minimum of she could get some help.

Answer 6

evermore - do not generalise women by saying every woman loves her kids. that is a load of bull and you know it.

as for all the other women saying its your child, too. well, its not a child. yet. and....iumm.....he isnt the one carrying the fetus for 9 months. he's not going to give birth to it. hes not risking his life. hes not subjecting his body to alot of stress. she is.

you can certainly make your point of view known. but it is NOT your choice to keep the baby. it is hers. and hers alone. if you shared in carrying the pregnancy, then yes youd have a final say. but you other women encouraging him to force her to keep the pregnancy, shame on you. you are an embarassment to women everywhere.

you really need to know people's views on abortion and all that. thats why getting to know people before you marry and get serious is the best way to avoid situations like this. and even if she was pro-life...sounds to me shes changed her mind.

and uh, why do you refer to her as your wife and girlfriend? that doesnt even make sense.

bottom line - its not your decision and you can not force her. she is not your little baby incubator.

Answer 7

This is one reason why they should require paternal consent for abortions, or shouldn't even allow them as a method of birth controll in the first place. Tell her it's your baby too, and you want to keep it.

Answer 8

IF i'm understanding correctly, you misspoke when you called your wife your "girlfriend" in your heading, or vice versa... regardless, you should have the right to raise your child. Even if SHE doesn't want to. Try contacting a Family Law lawyer and see if there is any legal option you may have such as a restraining order to prevent her from killing your baby.

Answer 9

instead of trying to change her mind about abortion you must change the why she wants to have abortion
talk to her is she scare of responsibility for the baby?
there has to be a reason why she doesn't want it
every mother loves her kids
find out the reason why she doesn't want to have the baby and fix it

Answer 10

You cant make her choose one thing or the other. BUt you can certainly try.

Is your wife willing to raise your child by your girlfriend, so the girlfriend doesnt feel so pressured into being a parent? There is always adoption...