I want to have a baby now, but my husband wants to wait until I graduate nursing school.?

Question

I am almost 23 and he will be 30 next week. I graduate in the beginning of May, so if I get pregnant I would still have a few more months before the birth. We have been married close to 2 years and I am ready to start a family NOW, but he wants to wait 5 more months. It is driving me crazy!!! I am very happy with my husband, but I don't feel like our marriage will be complete until we have a child. What should I do?

Answer 1

My suggestion is to keep talking to your hubby about it - find out when he wants to wait 5 months - is it really because you are in school or maybe he is not ready yet and is using that as an excuse. Find out the root cause.

Also, if he is not ready, maybe give him some time to get ready without any pressure. I know this can be hard because you want a family so badly, but you don't want him to do it just because he felt pressured to do so.

Also, my friend and her hubby got pregnant while she was in nursing school and it all worked out great. She was able to finish and get a little experience in the field before giving birth. She is now back to work full-time doing nursing stuff.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Sorry, your husband is right about this one. "I would still have a few more months before the birth" - that assumes that pregnancy require no effort and causes no complications. Maybe in your case but certainly not for most women. Apart from morning sickness and cravings, all kinds of hormonal and body chemistry changes start happening - you could find yourself in very bad shape when you are coming up to the end of your nursing exams. The hardest time is usually the first trimester because your body is adjusting to being pregnant. The last trimester is tricky because you are, to quote my wife, "as big as a house". Spend the five months your husband wants to wait talking about baby names, how to decorate the baby's room, parenting styles etc. You will be busy like you could never imagine once the baby is born - spend all the time you can right now building up your relationship so that when the sleep deprivation kicks in, you know that you are really there for each other. Trust me, I've got five kids.

Answer 3

My concern is how will you manage the time to take care of the child? I think that the first year or so of birth should be spent with the mother. How will you manage your careers around the child? As a nurse you may be on call. What if you cant watch the baby and the fathers at work? I would think some stuff over first before you have a baby.

Answer 4

You should not have a child to complete your marriage. A marriage should already be whole and stable and loving BEFORE A child joins the family.
I'd say listen to your husband. When you're pregnant, you can feel exhausted, not to mention nauseated. You want to do your best with nursing school, so I think you should wait. I agree with him. Wait until you're done with schooling. You've already been married 2 years, what's 5 more months. It's certainly not an eternity.

Answer 5

Give it a few more months. I know it isnt fun waiting, but believe me, you will be thankful you waited. The beginning of your pregnancy is not all it is cracked up to be. You are moody, always tired, bloated, and most of the time you dont feel good about yourself. On top of all this, you will have nursing exams. You don't need that. Sorry to be harsh. You want to somewhat enjoy your experience, not be stressed out. Besides that I don't know what else to tell you. You are still young and he isnt that old. Enjoy the rest of the time with him before you have your life dominated by a child. Do you have any animals, perhaps that might help take your concentration off of a baby.

Answer 6

I know how you feel!! I have been married for 2.5 years and have been bugging my husband to start a family! But I had to finish college and now my husband is getting his PhD....this is a HORRIBLE time to get pregnant! And then OOOPS, we accidentally got pregnant about 5 months ago. Now I am struggling to work full-time and financially support my myself and my husband while he gets his PhD. I wanted to have a baby so badly. I would cry about it to my husband all the time! Now that I am actually pregnant we have discovered it is very difficult when a spouse is in school. We are stressed and fight over how are we going to have the time and the money to raise this baby.

I know your family feels incomplete right now. Mine did too, but I know first hand it's better to wait until all parties are done with school! If you're only 5 months away from being done...it's not too long to wait it out.

Good luck!

Answer 7

What about a compromise? Wait 2 1/2 to 3 months. Who knows, it might take a month or two or three, then he gets it his way anyway. Maybe he would warm up to it like that? However, you shouldn't push too hard. You should both be ready before you start trying. It's a big step to take, make sure youre BOTH prepared for it. It's natural to want a baby, but you're both young, and you have plenty of time. I really don't think 5 months is going to make a huge huge difference. Be pateint and talk to him. He'll come around, and you'll both be happy.

On another note: Be sure to go out and have fun together while it's still just the two of you! It's harder to get out to go to the movies when you're a Mom, trust me on that one.

Answer 8

Listen to him and wait. I know you don't want to, but pregnancy can be hard. It was so bad on my sister than she could barely take care of herself while her husband was at work. Hopefully you'll have a boringly normal pregnancy, but you don't know that. You could have morning sickness that screws you up badly for the first few months, exactly when you need to do your best for finals. In my pregnancies, the further along I got, the more my memory would turn into swiss cheese I forgot so much. If you don't conceive the first month, you could have depression or mood swings due to wanting a baby so badly but nothing happening. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just saying your husband is making alot of sense. Get school finished, then have lots of fun making that baby. 5 months isn't forever.

Answer 9

I agree with your husband. I graduated nursing school last May and trust me when I tell you....you want to fully enjoy being pregnant and all that comes with it and not have to worry about school Let alone taking the board exam! I say finish school and pass the boards then try! Whats 5 more months? Good luck

Answer 10

I think you should wait the 5 months and then start trying for a baby becuase if you are in nursing school being pregnant may inflict with your schooling.. so just wait a little time..