I split up with my ex 5 years ago because we decided we were a bit too young to settle down. I loved him to bits but we started arguing and we both thought we shouldn't ruin a good thing. I did what I wanted and he did what he wanted. I loved being young free and single and after about a year I met somebody else. We have a child now and it's really good, I just can't forget my ex! I hate it, he was the most stunning person I have ever seen. He was funny sweet and kind. I don't want to feel like this and I wondered if anyone had good tips for getting someone out of your head. It's only recently I've started to feel like this again because I found out my partner cheated on me. I know that he regrets it and he told me the day after it happened. I don't think it will happen again. I don't wanna wreck my family by getting revenge but the temptation is getting stronger. My kids mean the world to me and I need someone to give me a reality check! lol
2006-12-28 06:47:16 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are feeling bad because your partner cheated. You have every right to be angry with him.
But you need to focus on how you feel about HIM, not your ex.
Getting fixated on you ex is just a way of avoiding the issues in your current relationship.
Concentrate on what you have. If you want to make it work with your partner despite his cheating, then go for it. If not, leave him.
But don't bring your ex into it. It's got nothing to do with him, and you'll just get yourself even more confused if you keep thinking about him.
Good luck. Hope it works out for you.
2006-12-28 06:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a child to think about, yes, but you also have you to think about. If you know in your heart that you forgive your new boyfriend for cheating and that he will never do it again then you have to stop thinking about your ex. He will only ruin a good thing. Look around, it's very hard to find someone to have a loving relationship with. If you and your ex were so meant to be then it would still be. Move on. Even if it means moving out of state.
2006-12-28 06:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by Rebelicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's your reality check!
Your most likely thinking about your ex because feelings of disappointment have recently been brought to the forefront due to the cheating issue with your old man. If you two can get past the fact that he made a mistake, than move forward and get on with life. Men are not monogamous and the reality is, he probably viewed the other participant strictly on a sexual level, period. The fact that he told you about it because he felt bad is a good indicator of that.
He tagged the tail so to speak then after-wards went --Yuk!
Hope this has been helpful. Good Luck!
2006-12-28 06:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by Camoguntruck_lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest because you didn't end things on a nasty note with the door ajar when things are not going right in everyday life you will always think of him
Its perfectly normal, you are fantasising don't stress out about it, you only remember the good bits about your ex and not the bad.....remember a relationship is different when you have the pressures of a family and bills to when you were young and care free
2006-12-28 06:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up. If you have a fling with someone especially for revenge you're thinking of no-one but yourself. The consequences if you did something would probably end in heartache for everyone when the relationship ends after many arguments and stress.Think of your children's feelings. It's their Dad.
Enough reality check.
Instead look at yourself and how you might improve things between your partner. Pamper him, do things together to bring spice and smiles back and to stop further damage to Mum and Dad.
2006-12-28 07:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by OO7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why you still remember him is because you compare your partner with your ex. If only you could give your partner a chance since you said that he cheated and is really sorry and that you know he is not going to do it again. Let your old life be bygone and concentrate on your family and partner. Also think what you are going to do to make them happy and you will see that your old life will be gone forever.
I wish you the best
2006-12-28 07:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by cajadman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey. You need to wake up!! We all know that someone has only one REAL and great love in life. That does not mean that everything is going to be perfect. Sometines things don't finish the way we want them to, but that's life. You need to evaluate if you really love the person that you are with. If you really love him it will be easy to reject the temptation but if you doubt just for a second it will be hard. If you don't love him don't stay with him just for the kids. You need to think about what's best for you and your kids. Evaluate your relationship.
2006-12-28 06:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will always have a special place in your heart for you ex, and because your current partner has cheated on you, naturally you will think of a time in your life when you felt loved, so that is why you think of you r ex when things go wrong, maybe your thinking what could have been? i still think of my ex daily after 22 years!!! he will always be with me in my mind and heart, but life goes on, give your current relationship a chance, you have a child together. Good luck!!!
2006-12-28 07:08:39 · answer #8 · answered by ann_jacques 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other guy(not your husband) was the love of your life...and you never forget that kind of love. You miss the idea of that kind of love because the other guy never hurt you like your husband has! I do not think you are still in love with the other guy but in love with the idea of him and how he treated you! You and your husband need some marriage counciling and separate counciling for yourself! And, if you still feel like cheating on your husband then maybe you need to divorce him. Never stay together for the children....they will see what is truely wrong...do not put them thru this burden if you're not happy with the marriage!
2006-12-28 06:55:13 · answer #9 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I agree with Mystic. I commend you for staying with someone who cheated, I dont think I could but no one is perfect. You can't retaliate cos it's no worth it and like you said, you got kids. I think you need to focus on your relationship now and wor things out. Try not to compare your current partner to your previous one or any situations you go through. I wouldn't suggest contacting your ex. You need to sort out where you are now with your partner . Good luck...
2006-12-28 06:55:36 · answer #10 · answered by Tiara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋