a lot of you said kids were so great, then you say me ex has custody or my ex was this and that. So what your actually saying is that YES KIDS ARE A PAIN AND A LOT OF WORK. Maybe this is why you are no longer together???????????
Am i missing something??
2006-12-28 06:33:07 · 11 answers · asked by godzillasagoodman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pay attention here,because this is the way it really is. People with kids **Have to say how great it is**.What are they going to say, how bad it sucks to have no time, no money, no privacy,no sex life ,no freedom and so on. What are they going to say"If I knew then what I know now" NO! they are going to say it's great,because to say anything else would be a friggen social taboo.
2006-12-28 15:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, don't think you are missing a thing, But people go into having children really unaware of what is involved --- they get tricked by their hormones, and oooops, get pregnant. And frankly, evolution rather had it planned that way because if parents really knew what they were in for --- screaming babies at 2am, terrible twos, rebellious teenagers, and the sheer cost ($250,00 per kid to age 20 or so)yadayadayada---- they would think again -- but most have children very young -- under 30, and some idiotic women think they can trap a man by becoming pg..... the only thing that happens is that he stays until the child is about age 4, then moves on. Children are divisive -- not bonding ---they put a wedge between a loving and devoted couple, and take attention from their bond. Twenty years go by, and "Oh, my, what happened to our youth??? and now, what do we do???" As you have noted, marriages don't survive --- 50% fail. To be successful, a couple's bond must be strong, and they must be ready for the jolt chldren will bring --- few are, as you can easily see by all the questions on this site... women unprepared to support themselves because they figured marriage, and kids equalled a mealticket for life --- alas, doesn't happen....
2006-12-28 14:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love my children, and they are great. To this day, I say that I did not know the real meaning of love before my first daughter was born. The fact of her existence transformed me into a better human being. However, she can be a pain also. For example, I worry about her a great deal when she's sick, and sometimes I have to struggle with her about her school work. Open your mind to the concept that ALL of what you said in your question is true: kids are great, kids are a pain, and kids are a lot of work. My kids are worth a lot more to me than fishing trips, though.
2006-12-28 15:01:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids being great really has NOTHING to do with custody and/or being together with an ex-spouse.
I believe my daughters is great, and I would be with her everyday if I could.
But, being a guy, and my cheater ex-wife having been a stay at home mom, I had an impossible battle for custody since fidelity is not considered in custody matters, but her being a SAHM is.
So she got the kids and the divorce she wanted so she could be with a man who would leave a 30 year marriage to be with her.
So, from where I sit, you are comparing apples to oranges when you make the comparison you make in this question.
Yes, you are wrong, it's an invalid comparison.
2006-12-28 14:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Am I missing something? My kid IS great, my ex a pain. Why would that be contradicting? ? ? My ex walking out on a small baby has nothing to do with the amount of work it involves, rather his inability to take responsibility and a heart of stone. The kid is still fantastic though.
2006-12-28 14:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by sins 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont have any but kids are great and they are a lot of work. But just like a million other things men cant seem to handle the new addition and the changes that must take place in one's life when they have kids. I would say that's why most people divorce.
2006-12-28 14:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids are wonderful, if you're mature enough to handle them. Some people are to SELFISH to handle children. Instead of seeing them as a journey 2 people can take together in raising and loving a child they see it as "less time for sex and going out and being a kid myself".
You can love your kids and think they're great and still comment on how much work they are, because it's the truth. Some people just handle the work better than others. You'll never understand until you have children yourself. Unless you're selfish, then you'll just resent your kids.
2006-12-28 15:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids are great - and they are a lot of work and responsibility.
They can be both with out being a contradiction. I don't have them - 'cause I'm not ready for them yet. But my friends and family do and I see how much joy they bring.
The truth is kids are great and lots of work - but EX's are a pain in the butt!
2006-12-28 14:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids are an expensive time consuming hobby, anyone who says differently is lieing .Those with kids in one breath will say "How wonderful" and in the next complain about what they've had to sacrifice. So yes they are contradicting.
2006-12-28 14:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids can be great if you are ready for them. You do have to make a lot of changes in your life and sacrifice many things so that you can take care of them and give them a safe nurturing life.
You have to change your lifestyle to be one that is a positive influence on your kids. I am married and have two children of my own I love very much; so not everyone here is divorced.
2006-12-28 14:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by ~*SuMmEr*~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋