Here's the situation: My friend has a boyfriend who has an ex-wife & 4 kids. He pays $2900 a month for child support and pays the rent for their living exp. His ex-wife continously calls the house and drives by (at all hours w/kids) just to see if he's home and if he's alone. If he is, she'll stop by and have excuses to argue with him for all kinds of things from reimbursements for the kids extra curricular activities, to church, to cough medicine. You name it, she'll have an excuse to call or stop by to argue about it. She repeatedly calls him at work making it a difficult enviroment for him and all the while she taunts him by saying that people will always choose her side because she has 4 kids. My friend and her boyfriend thinks that maybe something maybe wrong with her and have asked her to go to counseling. They are now fighting for split custody of the kids.
How can they (my friend/her boyfriend) get proof of her continuous harrassment? And get her to stop this behaviour?
2006-12-28 06:25:22 · 14 answers · asked by lamb1211 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One way would be to
1. Get a camera and tape her drive bys. Get a tape recorder that records the date and time.
2. Get a tape recorder and when she knocks at the door, turn it on state the date and time, then open the door.
3. Get detailed copies of your home phone and request a copy of the work phone number (this may require a court order).
Do this for several weeks (this is to prove a pattern of harassment) then take your proof to a lawyer and have the lawyer take it from there.
2006-12-28 06:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by c.s. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he could get full custody if he really tried. He could hire someone to follow her, and document her abuse of him to use in court later. That way, it is not just hearsay, like on those divorce court shows. She sounds like a very negative influence, who is just using her kids to hurt him. He could file a restraining order against her butt too. I don't think she's going to go to any sort of counseling, as she obviously doesn't feel she has a problem, that it is all his fault to her, which is why she is showing so much anger. I think he should go for full custody, after he shows her for being unstable with a private detective's report. I think that is his best bet. He just needs to stay cool, because the minute he loses his cool, if you live in a "mommie state" the court will give her the kids no matter what a wacko she might be. Please remain as steadfast and loyal to your friend as your question reflects, and know that you can help him by just being there for him. Good luck to you both.
2006-12-28 06:34:44 · answer #2 · answered by Genius Squirrel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do exactly what my friend does with her child's father....get an audio recorder and put it in your pocket...that should be proof if the court hears her arguing and him staying calm...All he can do is try to come to an agreement about the children's custody...just try to get a verbal agreement on tape...the rest is up to the courts...crazy will always be crazy...That is a sticky situation because if he tries to file for harassment who knows if she is going to keep the kids from him
HE HAS 4 KIDS BY HIM...SHE CAN BE ANGRY BECAUSE SHE PROBABLY STILL WANTS HIM...
He is going to have to deal with her for the rest of his life...
2006-12-28 06:35:25 · answer #3 · answered by fatiegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, long story. Anyway, I'll suggest a Camcoder and a recording of their conversations to be used as evidence. As for the custody issue, the ex'wife can OWN the kids. And to stop the behavior (I'd have suggested killing her but they're 4 kids to worry about), she needs a psychotherapist cuz she sounds like she's psycho.
2006-12-28 06:32:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mad Scientist 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
all the ex husband needs to do is to tell her to leave, then when she doesn't leave, or continuosly returns he'll need to file a police report, and after two or three of these, then he can get a restraining order on her. then, she will only be able to contact him thru the court or at a certain place and a certain time each week or month. his preference. I did this with my ex. It took about 2 weeks of putting up with his crap, and the police told him to stay away.
2006-12-28 06:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to go by the book, contact the lawyer who handled the divorce and make an official complaint with the police. so he can get a restraining order preventing her from calling or contacting him unless a life or death situation arises with the kids. He needs to make it clear to his ex that this will not be tolerable. No one cares about what other people think, He needs peace and quiet and she needs to get a life,
2006-12-28 06:30:39 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phone records??? Co-workers who may know she calls his work all the time? Neighbors who see her drive by (especially since she takes the kids on these excursions)? Tell her/him to ask the attorney that is representing him in his custody dispute.
2006-12-28 06:47:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Document every call, visit and what not. Then go to court and show them that there is harassment going on. Also if the children are old enough get a statement from them as to what is going on.
2006-12-28 06:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to get an order of protection. All you need for that is your word of what's happening. Get the neighbors to vouch for what's been going on.
If she calls to much you can have the police keep track of how many times she calls.
2006-12-28 06:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by aQTinMVny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband's attorney. It's time. This is the most common scenario, a wife who can't let go, she is still in love and will do anything to be involved with your husband. Believe it or not, she would take him back in a second.
2006-12-28 06:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋