I don't have kids but please be honest, please ??

Question

Im sure the women will say how wonderful children are, but I want REAL opinions. Are children all their cracked up to be. From what I see, couples that have kids, no longer have fun. They always look so miserable, no time for fun, traveling, each other. I just want your opinions on your experiences, and why you did it. The real reasons why, not just cause you were bored. Some women I hear do it just to compete, and that to me is totally insane.
happy new year

Answer 1

I never knew what my purpose in life was until my son came along. My pregnancy was an accident, I had always said I never knew if I wanted kids. You'll never understand the statement, "everything changes when you have children" until it actually happens to you. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me, I've never been this happy.

Answer 2

We have 2 children 3 years apart, one in college now. We planned for our children, we love kids, their fun and wonderful, frustrating too since none come with a owners manual. Every stage of dealing with children is different and naturally evolves into the next. My husband and I, married 20+ years, do have fun, we got a trusted baby sitter and went out at least once a month when the kids were small, even if it was only for a drive and run a few errands. As they grew we included them in our outings, but still find time to be together and enjoy each other. Once a child is born it's almost like they've always been there. Those miserable people you speak of, probably have very young babies and/ or are not on a schedule of any kind. A schedule is VERY important, since everyone, including the child, knows when nap time is and bed time at 8 means from 8 pm it's US time. Having children is a huge responsibility, good for you for seeing it as such. I think those who do their homework make the better parents. Good Luck! = )

Answer 3

Children are wonderful. Children are very needy. They are a huge responsibility. Honestly at times it is very stressful, and frustrating to raise children. Some parents I see look miserable all the time. It boggles my mind why some of them had kids. Children can be a lot of fun. It is a different kind of fun. They are children so it allows us as parents to let go and be a little silly and childlike. Game night, movie night are a lot of fun. You can still travel with children. Start when they are young so it becomes almost routine. Work around their naps and feedings. My children love to travel. Once a month my husband and I go on a "date" to reconnect with eachother. It is necessary to have time together. We go to a movie or have dinner or lunch together. No one should have children simply to compete or because they were bored. I had children because I wanted to have a family. It is not always sunshine and roses but I could not imagine life any other way . I am so blessed to have them. I hope I could help. Have a wonderful 2007.

Answer 4

Children are, first of all, a responsibility. They need your constant attention. I believe that no newly married couple should have them. It is best to wait a couple of years until the couple's differences have been settled (intellectual, financial, sexual). Many women see themselves as mothers first and then wives--BIG MISTAKE. In a marriage the couple's relationship comes FIRST. If the marriage isn't working, the children will go down with the ship. They ALWAYS do.
It is said, mostly by women, that children are a blessing. Yeah, right. Many women get their self-esteem from motherhood. They also feel inadequate when they have trouble conceiving. Usually other women, always those who have gone nowhere and have little of anything worth mentioning, tend to nag those who have no children. I have no children and have no craving to have any. It would be nice to have someone to care for you during your senior years, but old-folks homes seem to be doing just fine.
I have traveled the world many times and own several homes. I go in cruises all the time and speak three different languages. How many of the child-bearing couples can say that? Besides, I could always adopt. My wife used to cry over wanting to bear children, but now that she does foreign missions and has seen most of the world, she realizes that the whole child hype is just that, hype.
Children are surely a blessing, but they are first and foremost a responsibility. They should never come to a home without the marriage solidity and the financial backing.
Mr. M on "kids."

Answer 5

If you are thinking of having children, don't unless you are sure you BOTH want to. Make sure you are in a HAPPY MARRIAGE. A lot of people do for the wrong reasons and end up miserable or wrecking their relationships. Children honestly have their ups and downs. You can always get a sitter but you cant do it ALL the time or spur of the moment like you can without. I have two boys and they are my heart and sole, but honestly I would like a LONG vacation sometimes. I definitely wish we were more financially stable also. At times though... things they say, the warm hugs, and being able to make everything all better for a little pair of sad eyes just makes it all worth it. I guess it just depends on what you want out of life and remember its all TIMING!

Answer 6

Well, I just got married about 4 months ago and have a 8 year old.. And being real my husband is miserable... He has a great job and wants to hang out and really can't. He has to come home and watch our son because I work 2 jobs. I work 2 jobs because I don't make as much as my husband and I want to help more with the finances... So to make a long story short.. Kids are really great...They just have to be truely cared for and need alot of love....

I'm not miserable I just don't like my husband to have so much on his plate that he gets stressed about bills and other things.. So I work my butt off to keep that from happening... So yes he may miss his friends some times but when the checks come in there aren't any complaints...

Answer 7

There is this saying that "from the outside looking in you could never understand and from the inside looking out you can never explain." I think that fits well here... kids are a huge responsibility and couples that are no longer having fun are couples that probably were not matched off right at the start, it's not the children's fault. There is just some thing in watching your child grow up and having those moments where they need you and hug you and say they love you. Picking my daughter up from school she sees me from her class before I even go in and she runs out to me. It's a pure love and connection that only comes between a parent and child. I did not plan on having a child when I did, but instead I was just blessed.

Answer 8

Happy New Year's to you too. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting kids. I applauded you for admitting it! Two kids myself, and I love being a Mom. I wouldn't change it for the world, but I have several girlfriends that shouldn't have had children. They had children, because that's what we are suppose to do....WRONG. Just because you have the equipment doesn't mean it has to be used.

My kids have slowed me down a little, but I wanted a Mother's life. I pack them up and take them with me. We aren't miserable, we have the best of relationships, but they are work. It's a life time job, just because they turn legal age it doesn't mean the job is over. Sometimes it's just beginning. If you don't think you want children, then don't. There is no reason for you too, and frankly with all the craziness in the world today-it might not be a bad idea.

Again, I applaude you for admitting this isn't something you want to do, just wished other women, who have had children "just because" was brave enough to admit the fact!

God bless us all..........

Answer 9

I waited until I was 35 to have my son. (3 months ago) I wasn't sure I would ever have children. Some people told me that they would have been happier without kids - even though they love their children. I can only tell you that I adore my son and have discovered one thing: You never really know what love is until you have a child. The key thing to having children and being happy is only to have them when both of you are ready. Which is why I waited until I was older. I did this for several reasons:
Wanted to purge my selfishness, wanted to finish my education, wanted to be financially stable, wanted to buy my own home and wanted to be in a stable relationship with the man that I love for at least 5 years. Having done all that, I was ready. I can tell one thing that is true for everyone that has children : Your life will be changed forever.

Answer 10

Children are wonderful at like the age of 3, but then they become teenagers and drive you crazy. My brother has no kids and they travel and do pretty much what they want, where those of us with children don't have that freedom. So people love children, others love other people's children, that go home. It is a personal choice.

Answer 11

It takes a lot of work to have children. It takes work to find the time to be more than a parent with your spouse. It takes work to be spontaneous (if that makes sense). I had children to give my husband (now my ex) the greatest gift I could give him--three wonderful children. Having children didn't complete me--it didn't make me whole--it complimented me. It helped me to grow and learn new things.
Are they all they are cracked up to be? Depends on what you expect from it. If you are going into it thinking it will always be walks in the park and laughs and hugs and kisses then no they are all that. But if you are realistic and realize that those special moments of your child saying "I love you" for no reason are all worth the struggle then yes they are all they were cracked up to be.