Sister in-law part2?

Question

Sister in-law?
About 2 years ago my boyfriend told me that when he and his sister were 10 and 9, they were 'forced' to have sex by thier baby sitter. Then about a month ago, that fact came up in conversation between him and his sister and his sister reminded him that they did it again at a different house. And now that they are 26 and 27 I feel like they are just too close. Should I even say anything or are all brothers and sisters that close??

I just came out and told him how I felt he says they can talk about like it was normal and no big deal because its in the past, and they cant change it now so why let it have any ill effect on them now? I guess so, maybe its just me because I was never that close at all to any one in my family and all my best friends from child hood seemed to move away so I just see them as too close because I never had a close relationship?? Whats do you think? Is it me or him and her?

Answer 1

Children aged 9 and 10 are very curious about their body and it is not common but quite frequent that they investigate their bodies playing doctor or mom and dad. It is not a sex in adult understanding. I doubt that there was an actual penetration.
Siblings are usually very close so i do not think you have anything to worry about.

Answer 2

Wow that is a sad story some perv makes two kid have sex .

I think you are in a tuff spot but let's reveiw this . Ok he feels that he can trust you a hell of alot because he told you about something nobody would just offer up .

But now comes the second guessing hmm was that hug a little too much , what was that look in their eyes .

The fact that they had sex after the were forced to does not suprize me at all . Why you might ask why well my god they were only 9 & 10 their minds were not able to grasp the whole idea of incest and how it's so wrong .

I'm never a person who thinks anybody should run to a shrink for everything but i would really really suggest that him & her talk to one the trama that doing that act with your sister needs to be talked about with a DR .

Sorry but talking to you about it won't work because you like most of us start judging insted of only helping them come to terms with what happened .

Also you can't judge their relationship my wife and her brother are super close and you would think hmm i wonder . But if you knew my wife you would know she would never sleep with her bro .

It sounds like this will be a long road for you to travel so if you stay with him make sure you can cope with what happened to them and do your best to understand that if nobody forced them odds are it never would have happened .

And don't take it wrong when she talked about the other time she was not bragging it must have been like a huge weight was lifted off their shoulders that now they found someone worthy of their trust to let it out .

Answer 3

No there isn't anything wrong with your boyfriend and his sister, they just got on with their life and got over it. Yes siblings can be very close. My younger brother and I are best friends and we tell each other everything. We got very close at a very young age because our mother died in an automobile accident, I was 10 and he was 5. I just think you are jealous of their relationship, you need to get over it. My brother's girlfriend is the same way.

Answer 4

Oh honey, this duo seems to have way too many issues to deal wth.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend was abused in this way, but realize that it's going to have a permanent effect on all of his future relationships. And that means that as long as you're a part of it, you're going to have to deal with it.

I'd almost suggest breaking ties and moving forward to someone new without this extra baggage. You seem to have a problem and are hung up on it and it'll always be a weight on your relationship.

Answer 5

No Your Sister In regulation Is Ur Sisters In regulation Which makes It UR sister that's In regulation with your Sister consequently Being Ur Grandma In regulation And making That Your mom In regulation Of Ur Father In regulation and then Making The decide In regulation Which Made You In regulation Which Made Ur Sisters, Sisters, Sister that's truly in simple terms Your Sister In regulation inflicting A Humungus Explosion Of My BawSack

Answer 6

very weird situation and very weird behavior (referring to sister and brother)... i think that your sister in law needs to back off and if it is in the past, why are they still talking about it. why does it still come up. i think your brother and sister are "too close". kinda weird if you asked me.

but what can you do. he is your husband. so i think it is good that u are talking to him about it and told him how you felt. but i do not understand how what happened to them and how they talk about so casually is NORMAL. it is NOT.

i think they may have some issues. I do not know what to tell you. talk to your husband. this is way too weird and there is more he has not told you. he is keeping something away from you. they both are not being honest. more than that happened. more than that.

Answer 7

You apparently don't believe their story, since you put the word "forced" in quotes.

As far as comfort level, that's you. As far as needing therapy, that's him (and her). As far as premarital counseling if you guys decide to wed, that's both of you...and it shouldn't be optional.

You have a right to your comfort level. Share it, as nonjudgmentally as possible. Tell him what you can live with and what you can't live with. See what he says.

I do see where you're coming from, though. If you have to be more antsy when he's at a family reunion than a class reunion, something's a tad twisted.

Answer 8

That right their is disturbing. Just make sure they don't disappear together at the new years eve party. I think thats whacked and can't believe they would share that with you. Why would they even talk about that. Some things are better kept under the rug. So no, I don't think its you..

Answer 9

You have the right to feel creeped out/ jealous / whatever. One of my exes and his sister were wayyyyy too close for comfort and it got to the point where i had to evaluate my feelings and realize that i can't deal with that. You have to do the same..

Answer 10

when you say close are you referring that they might still having sex?Lets hope not ,but sounds to me that the two of them been through some turbulent times together. Siblings that been though tough times together usually have a tighter bound then siblings that haven't.