Can I really be a good father and truly involved in her life, and how we both me and my wife adjust when we get into new relationships? what are the big no no's....
2006-12-28 05:54:56 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you can be a great father. Stay involved in her life and don't date any of her friends. When you are ready to date, don't lose the time you spend with your daughter.
2006-12-28 05:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Shanan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you both need to take all that hurt and disappointment that your marriage failed and stuff it. It's not about you anymore, it's about the child.
If your wife and you are good people, then you take the court ordered visitation and throw it out the window and make up your own schedule so you both can spend maximum time with the child.
You need to pick her up from school and take her out to dinner or over to your place for dinner more than just one night a week and every other weekend and holiday.
Work it with your ex where you can do it several times a week. Make sure your ex knows you will baby sit for her if she needs to go out somewhere or needs a mommy's day off.
Go to all of your child's school functions and after school things when they come up.
Call her often when you can't be there.
As far as new relationships, don't date someone who doesn't understand why that child is more important than they will ever be. They are an adult and can take care of themselves, that child needs you to be there. If you find a truely nice woman who has a good heart, she will never question why you want to spend that much time with your daughter, she will even encourage you to spend more.
Same for your wife. She needs to find a man who won't be threatened by you keeping in close contact with them.
2006-12-28 06:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce happens, but just keep in mind that from here on end, you both have to do what is in the best interest of your daughter. Don't expect her to fully understand much, but the good thing, is that she is young and can adjust easier than kids over 5 years of age. The big no no for me is to introduce her to someone new (partner wise) to soon. Make sure this person has every intention of being a part of this childs life, and not introduce the child to every partner,this will only confuse her. But play it by ear, and keep in mind, its both the parents responsibility to provide the best environment for the child. Good Luck.
2006-12-28 06:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can still be a good father and remain involved in her life. The big no-no's come when you start interfering with your ex-wife's life. You both need to come to an understanding about parenting guidelines, and not undermining each other when it comes to your daughter. She will pick up on that as she gets older and use it to her full advantage, (ie) if mom says no, ask dad...
For her sake and yours, try to have a congenial relationship with your ex, it will make both your lives easier to deal with and less stressful on the child.
2006-12-28 06:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by nuttin'fancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about the end of your marriage Isacc. I would suggest not to bad mouth the childs' mother in front of her. If and when you do get involved with another woman take your time before gradually introducing her into your daughers world. Kids are a lot stronger then we give them credit for and she will manage alright providing you two remain civil with one another and you stay active in her life. I had visitation every second weekend with my son and was able to take him out for 3 hours ever week as well. Luckily my ex and I were mature about it all and so she was great and would allow me to take my son out pretty well whenever I liked. That was almost 30 years ago and today his mom and I remain great friends and quite sociable towards each other when together at family functions and he is a well adjusted individual with a wife and two girls of his own.
2006-12-28 06:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if you and your wife are getting a divorce it doesn't mean that you can't be a good father to your child and you can still be involved. It would be hard for you both to adjust to your new lives but you can do it and be friends at the end.
2006-12-28 05:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At best, you can be a 2nd rate father, as you are quitting on your most significant promise you ever made in your life. The example you are showing her now of how men act when the going gets tough will follow her forever.
Ever wonder why the biggest statistical predictor of divorce is whether or not a parent was divorced? Hmmmm, kinda makes you think.
2006-12-28 06:01:43 · answer #7 · answered by kurgan_fish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you work together and make your daughter your #1 priority (100% of the time) then you can raise a healthy minded child. Rule of thumb (from a child psychologist) If you get involved with a new partner, do not introduce them to your child for ONE YEAR. That way you will know that the relationship is going somewhere. Kids get very easily attached to people in their parents' lives and if they get attached, and you break up, the child begins to think it's somehow their fault that the relationships keep failing. Do your child a favor and spend as much time (one on one) with her and make her secure in your love. You won't be sorry.
2006-12-28 06:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
PLEASE be as much a part of your daughters life as possible! I once read girls are 75% more likely to do drugs and be promiscuous if they don't have a father figure in their lives. Don't bring a new girlfriend around until you have been dating for a while, and your ex knows about her. Pay child support, (most women, as selfish as it is, won't let you see your kid if you don't pay support), don't try to be the favorite parent by letting your daughter do whatever she wants, (all she'll learn is to walk all over you), DON'T BAD MOUTH YOUR EX IN FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER!!!, kids learn to dislike the parent that does that, as they get older. That's all I have for now, I hope it helps.
2006-12-28 06:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind that you'll always love your wife,but now that you're both choosing different path it's best if everything stay at a friendly level for your sake and the children. do not get involve in your wife personal life and don't try to be a critic about her now life. when choosing a girlfriend choose someone whom your girls can respect, love and talk to. i make sure you tell them that this is no second mother thing.
2006-12-28 06:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by speak my mind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋