I'm turning 18....I don't know what to do about my baby?

Question

I'm turning 18 in 2 months, just found out I am pregnant, My boyfriend told me that if I ever got pregnant he'd deal with it but that it would ruin his life if he was this young so I don't know how to break it to him plus, my parents hate him, what the hell am I supposed to do?? How can I go to college with a baby? What should I say to the boyfriend/ parents?

Answer 1

you should have thought about this BEFORE having sex

Answer 2

I was 2 months away from turning 18 when I had my first child, she turned 9 Dec. 23, and was on christmas break of my senior year of highschool. I graduated with honors on time. I had a tutor who came to my house. My boyfriend was in college and got a two year degree in computers. I didn't go to college because I decided to stay at home with the baby. I could have if I wanted to though at a community or local area college. I lived at home with my mother while he finished school. He also worked a part time job to buy the things we needed for the baby. His parents and my mom helped a lot but we did buy all most everything she needed and we did buy all the big ticket stuff. We also bought the diapers and stuff like that once she was born. Once he was out of school he got a job, and we were able to buy our own house and a new car within the year. I am telling you this, because if you have understanding parents and support you can do this and have a good life. If you want. Your boyfriend could change his mind. I don't know any young guy that would say they want a baby, but this is his baby, so give him a chance. If his feelings don't change it really is his loss. It don't matter how your parents feel about the boyfriend if they love you, which I am sure they do, they will help and support you and they will love their grandbaby. I am not telling you have to keep your baby. There is adoption and other options. I just wanted to let you know you can and everything can turn out. I love my girl and would not give her up for anything. I made the right decision for me. You have to make the right decision for you. Good Luck.

Answer 3

First, try to calm down and not get overly stressed. What did he mean, he'd "deal" with it? Does that mean, he wants you to have the baby and be w/you; for you to have an abortion; for you to give it up for adoption, just what??

He was a participant in the act that got you pregnant, remember, but you are the one who'll carry and deliver the child (should you choose to), so you need to remember that any decision you make shouldn't only be to please him. Do you feel ready to be a parent? At your age, parenting can be rough (of course it's not easy at any age!). Having an infant means: no more partying on the spur of the moment w/friends; no staying out late and sleeping in; it means thinking about the baby's needs/wants before your own. You will not be the center of the universe anymore!

If you have parents, neighbors, friends, or anyone who would be willing to help take care of the baby so you could attend college, then that'd be a plus.

First, tell your boyfriend. Then decide what you want out of the situation. Decide about telling the parents after you've spoken w/the boyfriend.

I work at a high school and have seen girls your age have babies and care for them well. So, it's possible!

Good luck. Think it through and try not to worry obsessively. And if you do maintain the pregnancy, make sure to keep the prenatal appts. to ensure you and your baby's good health.

Answer 4

First of all, tell your parents. Be honest with them and if they are good people, they'll most likely help you. As far as the boyfriend is concerned, he sounds like a real treat. How nice of him to say he'd "deal with it" even if it ruins his life. Obviously he didn't mind the "making a baby" part too much. Perhaps your parents are correct in not liking him. However, he should also be told that you are pregnant.

I don't mean to sound too blunt, but if you weren't sure how you could go to college and have a baby, why did you put yourself in the position to have one? If your parents won't or can't help you and if the boy refuses to help, your best option is to put the child up for adoption. Abortion is murder, so that's out of the question.

I wish you the best and will pray for you and your child.

Answer 5

Listen, you can have the baby and go to college and be everything that you wanted to be. But know this, the boyfriend may not be there for the long haul. You guys are young and have a lot to go through still. So just don't go into it thinking that he will marry you and everything will be okay. It may not happen that way and you need to be aware of that fact. It is very hard taking care of kid(s) on your own. And truly you can't depend on other people....all you will have is yourself and your baby. How you handle this situation and anymore to come with measure your strength and help you develop into a mature woman. Learn from this experience so that you don't repeat the same mistake. You have abortion, adoption and raising the baby as your options. You may want to contact Planned Parenthood for some help in making this decision, as it is not an easy one.

Answer 6

DON'T HAVE AN ABORTION!!!!!!!!!!! I really can't believe that somepeople have suggested that and are actually proud that they did that! That baby is ALIVE inside of you! you wouldn't kill a two year old, or even an adult!? why would you kill a baby? Tell everyone what happened. If they all love you (which i'm sure that you're parents do, and your boyfriend should) they will accept what happened and learn to live with it. Even if your parents do freak out a little they will love thier grandchild when it is born. Whether you stay with the father is your own decision, but don't let anyone pressure you into dumping him or keeping him. You do owe it to him to tell him and allow him to be a part of the baby's life.
If you really don't want to have a baby right now, then give it up for adoption. I personally know muliple couples that are dying to be parents, but just can's seem to have a baby for some reason or another. They would love your baby and treat it like thier own.

Answer 7

You can have your baby and still go to college. I am sure your family will help. As for your parents hating your boyfriend. Once you have that baby they will still hate the father but they will never hate that baby. My family hates my boyfriend (common law husband) they hated the idea of me being pregnant but when my mom was there to watch her grandson come into the world she loved him more then anything. She takes him once in a while to the store or when its nice to the park. Your family will never hate that baby. As for your boyfriend tell him you can't hide it for ever. Also tell him that you would like him to be apart of the babies life but if he is so worried tell him that you and they baby are better off without him and leave it at that your family will always be there to help you. Your daddies little girl and the light of your moms life they will love you and that baby no matter what I am sure they will help you while you go to college. You might have to take on a part time job. But they will help till your graduate and get a good job and a place of your own. Even then they will always be there for you.

Answer 8

Been there, done that. As far as the boyfriend goes...if he doesn't want ababy or is not ready for a baby...then he should have used protection. This IS NOT ALL YOUR FAULT!
It takes two to tango. Even with protection...accidents happen. We learn that in sex ed when we are very young and we hear it in the media all the time so there is no excuse. The only way to NOT have a baby is to NOT have sex.
You are young...but you can do it. If you want this baby, prepare for a lot of hard owrk and a ot of hard times...but it is worth it. I was 17 when I had my first. My parents hated my boyfriend..etc.etc.
They did however...love my daughter! She was their grandbaby no matter what.
As far as his parents go...let him deal with them. You don't OWE them anything. If they want to be involved with the life of their grandchild (which they should) then great...don't deny them that...but if they flip out and abandon you and the baby...it isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do. (Been there done that too) It's their loss.
I stayed home with my first but had my second 2 1/2 years later and went to college with 2 kids! You can do it..like I said though, it takes hard work and a lot of committment.
If you are not ready for that, then your only option would be adoption or abortion.
There is a lot of support available to you....take it if you need it!
Good luck.

Oh, by the way...my parents were right...the boyfriend turned out to be a total loser and I raised my kids on my own until I met my curren husband...who is absolutley AMAZING!
Now I am a guilt free stay at home mom with two beatuiful kids..girl age 12 and boy age 10 and two beautiful step children, bot age 10 and girl age 8...and we are expecting our first one together in two weeks or less. Life was hard...but it sure paid off!

Answer 9

I see you have a lot of answers to this. And just simply do not have time to read through all of them so please forgive me if I am being repeatitive to others. But I do want to share my opinion on this.

First of all you are young and it will be hard but it is not impossible. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first and 19 when I got pregnant with my second. I was on birth control with my first-and my second is a whole other story we will not go into right now. I was a high school drop out living on my own-in an abusive relationship-raising two of his older children as well. Abortion or adoption was not an option for me with either one of them. I felt like I made the choices. I decided to play adult and lay down in the bed knowing the possible consequences so I had to deal with them. It was my responsibility.
When I was pregnant with my first I realized just what a jerk my ex was and why my parents hated him. But even if I hadnt realized that the truth is my parents still would have loved me and loved the baby-even if I was still with him today.
I went back to school. Graduated and went to college. Got a job and my own apartment-and have had two more children.
I am not saying it is easy. Being a parent there are not easy days...some are harder then others but each day no matter what your situation brings new things.
However it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
I am not saying I never struggle now. But I have worked dang hard to be where I am in my life and though I am not perfect I am proud of who I have become and what I am for my children.

Having sex with someone means that things could possibly happen to you and pregnancy is only one of them. If you are adult enough to make the decision to have sex then you should be adult enough to be responsible for your mistakes. That is my opinion. We all make mistakes but part of growing up is learning how to deal with your mistakes and doing your best to turn them into positive things in your life.
Your parents will love you no matter what. It might be hard at first but in the end you are their child and they will be there for you.

It is your decision on what you do. But remember anything is possible if you want it bad enough

Answer 10

You girls act like there is no birth control methods. There aren't going to be any easy solutions, but life will go on. Inside you know what to do, kids are supposed to be smarter with each generation ,I sure would have thought with all the unwed mothers and all the diseases out there ,pregnancy wouldn't and shouldn't be a problem in 2007... Talk to your parents , they will love you forever, they will be upset, but work it out. Your Parents are the only people you can really count on......Besides, there no sense in worrying now, no amount of worrying has ever been as bad as you make it out to be. Pray about it, ask your parents for help and things will work out. And maybe some BIRTH CONTROL!!!!!

Answer 11

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're in this position...however if he didn't want you to get pg, he should have been taking precautions (as well as you) to make sure it didn't happen. It takes two to tango, sister. It's just as much his fault as it is yours. You didn't ruin his life, he managed to do that on his own...however, I don't think having a baby is ruining one's life, it will however complicate things.
Now, let me say this...if your parents hate him, didn't that tell you something? Here you are pregnant and scared to tell him. Hum...maybe mom and dad aren't so stupid after all.
You have to tell them. They might be upset to begin with, of course they will be, but they'll come around and they're only going to want the best for you and your baby. I'm sure your parents will make every effort to help you while you go to college, etc.
I really do wish you all the best and hope this all works out for you. It will, I'm sure, but right now, it's going to be hard to deal with. Take care of yourself and the baby and worry about the boyfriend last. Best of luck to you!