16 yr old son had ear pierced when dads new gfrnd signed as guardian. What can be done as I said NO! HELP!!?

Question

Son was not allowed to have ear pierced until 18, but new girlfriend (less than 2 weeks) signed as guardian. According to my other sons, the dad didn't know till after the fact either. What can be done, since this will send a message to my children, and others, that it does not matter what the parent says, it just matters if you can find someone to lie and sign as legal guardian!! How can this person do this to someone else's child, even if the minor wants it?? How can I be expected to try to teach my children right and wrong, and being of age to make their own decision, if there are other people who do not care what the parent wants??? If I do nothing about this, how can I set boundaries for my children, when others will break them?? I am upset and confused about this, and need someone's advice!! I realize that the earring at this point isn't that important, but the issues behind it are. No other person should be allowed to decide something for my child without the legal right

Answer 1

I’d be pissed too, although, not necessarily about the piercing itself. I have a 16-year-old son and if he wanted to get his ear pierced, I’d probably let him do it. However, if someone else ‘gave permission’ for it I’d be very upset, because they aren’t his parent and they don’t have that authority!

You could sue her. You could probably also sue the store. And you’d likely spend a good bit of money doing it.

You could file a police report.

You could go to the shop and confront the manager/owner about this--in a calm manner!

There’s probably an agency where you can file a complaint against the shop (the Health Board maybe or the Licensing Agency?).

But personally what I’d do is seek a restraining order against this woman legally requiring her to cease ALL contact with my children, because obviously she’s a very poor influence on them.

Answer 2

Ok, from one parent to another, you have legal rights to take the father and the G/F to court to explain to the judge as to why this happened as well as to explain to the father that the G/F isn't a parent nor a legal gardian yet. If you have custody of the son, make him take the earring out. Sit down with him and explain to him that being a man doesn't mean making any decision that he wants to just because he is in the position to do so with the father's new g/f. Sit down with the father and tell him to be the man, and realize that allowing this to continue isn't healthy for him, or his son. If the father did not give the G/F permission to sign it, then he needs to tell her that if she is going to disrespect his morals and standards, assumng he has them in place, isn't going to be tollerated and if there's no remorse feelings then he just needs to find a more mature and respectful g/f. I know that this won't be easy at first with your son, but he isn't too old yet to be taken behind the wood shed for a good old fashioned B U T T whippin. Afterwards, do something with him or for him that you both can enjoy, not as a reward for bad behavior, but to show him why you still deserve the respect that you are due. If none of this works, take the husband to court and let the judge decide whether or not he needs to visit with your son again. But do the thing with your son regardless.

Answer 3

I'm with you!
It is ridiculous that guidelines like having a seemingly mature person present allows minors to do things that alone they cannot do.
I would hope your ex has elbowed the bimbo girlfriend on principle. So many people are irresponsible with regards to the parents right to choose for there minor offspring.
I have had similar experiences, and worse when the culprit has been the Father and worse still the Grandparent, and after the first initial grief it makes my blood boil, but what can you do when the damage has been done?

Sorry for your distress.

Answer 4

You have to talk to your son, and to the girlfriend. Tell your son what you are really upset about, the fact that he went behind your back and did something he knew you disapproved of. Explain to him that there is a big difference between being able to do something, and being ready to do something. He did it when he was able, but not when you felt he would be ready, and his actions showed you great disrespect. You know what you are upset about, you know what your expectations are, so sit down and talk to him about it all again, and leave the earring out of it because as you said, it's a lost cause at this point. As for the girlfriend, she was way out of line, and should have consulted with you and the father before signing any such release. Perhaps it was her attempt to get in with your son, for it can be hard for the 'other woman' to form any sort of relationship with children of that age. Regardless of her motives, what she did was wrong and well beyond her social boundaries. Be nice as you can when you talk to her, but explain to her that you have rules for your children and that you need those rules to be consistent, you need her to be mature enough to uphold them when you are not around. Let her know that she is free to talk to you about such things at any times and that you would appreciate her to call you should she have any questions regarding such matters. Try not to let your anger taint the conversation, be as rational as possible, but do let her know how you feel and why, and what she can do about it. I'd be upset too if I were you, but the best thing you can do now is to try and prevent an occurence like this from happening again.

Answer 5

Take out his earing....and if your worried about you child having his ear pierced you need to open up you eyes man and worrie about what hes doing at school or after school a ring in his ear is the least of your worries i had a serious addiction from the time i was 16 untill i was 18 and ive been clean since but my father had no clue for years.... Earing on right and wrong come on... relaxe a little and worry about more serious problems

Answer 6

Make your son take them out, they will close. As for the girlfriend, oh hell no. YOU are the parent and you need to talk to the father ASAP. You two need to come to a mutual agreement on what your children are allowed to do. You could also contact the store where your son got his ears pierced and find out there policy on fraud. Make sure that everyone understands how serious this is. I would never allow someone to do anything with my son that doesn't involve me. I completely understand that this opens doors for other things that you are not ok with. You should also talk to the girlfriend so that she understands that you are his mother.

Answer 7

First to consider is the fact that your son knew that he was going against your wishes when he had his ear pierced.

Second, when my son had his ear pierced in GA I had to take his birth certificate, his I.D., my I.D. and I had to sign before the ear was pierced. He was only 15.

Third of all, your child's father needs to handle this situation, but if he has allowed your son to go off with a woman he has been dating for only two weeks then he is probably too irresponsible to consider the best course of action for your son and you'll have to take responsibility.

And finally, IF you are REALLY upset by her actions then consult an attorney. At least here (in my state of SC) this is enough to get a restraining order against her.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Take the earrings away. Making a huge issue of it with the girlfriend, will probably only cause problems with your ex-husband, but she needs to know her behavior was unacceptable. I'm quite certain dad didn't know anything about it, so be careful you don't take anything out on him.

You might also complain to the piercing store. They should check Id's or something.

Answer 9

First of all, you need to calm down. It's just an ear-ring.

Secondly, if your children don't respect your boundaries by now, then they're probably not going to listen. Also, if the worst your kid does is pierce his ears, then you've done ok as a parent.

I am 33 years old. I had my ears pierced seven times, each time over the express objection of my parents. I am now a father of two, a successful attorney, and still have a problem with authority.

My point is that this is not something you should get so upset over. This is a very minor bump in the road. Calm down, see it for what it is, and let it go. If you still feel upset about the girlfriend lying then have an adult chat with her and ask her to not do these types of things in the future.

Finally, since you posted this question in the legal section here, let me say that although you may technically have some legal recourse, any attempt to bring this matter to the authorities or to court will be laughed out and seen as a monumental waste of time.

Seriously, you are grossly over-reacting. Let it go.

Answer 10

He's 16...in a lot of cultures he'd be married raising a family by now. Enough about it to him and don't bring it up again with him.

Now, as far as the ex and his new girl, just from how upset you are, I can see why the ex and his girlfriend decided to stick it to you by signing the form. They wanted to wind you up, and it worked. I don't believe he didn't know either, he's just too chickenshit to admit it now you're in his face.

You can't do anything about it, so let it go. Legally trying to win damages wouldn't work, you don't have any. You'd spend $1000's on attorney fees for nothing except an ulcer and an empty wallet.

If it makes you feel better, call up where he had it done and chew their asses and threaten to sue. It will keep it from happening to someone else's kid, that will make you feel better... :) RELAX!!!