I went through a really horrible divorce a couple of years ago. I am currently engaged and am scared of remarrying. I love him, but I am scared that he may change like my ex-husband and leave. Any suggestions and is this normal.
2006-12-28 05:02:02 · 19 answers · asked by missy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i don't know.
2006-12-28 05:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
married or not, he can still hurt you. Talk to him about your feelings. I have been with my current "husband" for 9 years but I have no intention of getting "married" by the govt. standard. We took our vows with ourselves and God and to me thats the only three people it involves. I don't feel there is a need to get "married" as far as the certificate goes. We keep our finances seperate. (Of course if we need to borrow some from each other thats no big deal.) We file seperate tax returns and everything. If we make a big purchase, we discuss it ahead of time as far as who will make what contribution.
But, the point is, whether you actually marry him or not, he could still change down the road. Marriage will not change this. Sometimes what we think is meant to be really isn't. But there is only one way to find out. I advise you to tell him how you feel and see how he reacts. If he seems unsure about a lifelong commitment, then maybe you should really rethink the marriage. If he really cares for you, he will understand your concern and find ways to reassure you of his devotion.
Remember:
IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL!
2006-12-28 13:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by wunluv06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its perfectly normal to question future relationships when you have been hurt in the past. Not all men will turn out like your husband did. Don't let what happened with him ruin your new relationship. Chances are he will be nothing like your ex. If it still really bothers you maybe talk to a counselor once or twice.
2006-12-28 13:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jesse's Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal to be afraid of the same thing happening again! Keep in mind though, that HE is NOT your EX... I suggest you do NOT marry him until you are comfortable about your relationship with him. When you are alone, make a list of all the things you love about him and all the things you don't. Which one is the longer list? Think about ANYTHING that could be a "Red Flag" and if you have doubts, HOLD OFF until you are sure.
2006-12-28 13:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by ConcernedMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's pretty normal coz you've been through that before. just don't be scared and trust God for everything that you will do. this is the reason why life is so mysterious coz you will not ever find out the possible consequences if you will not act on it....i know it will be really hard fo but girl, just take your time and you may not know that this is really it.
2006-12-28 13:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by mcbeth007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's probably just fear, and you'll never get over the fear if you never completely move on. You made the first and biggest step when you got in a new and serious relationship, take it slow with the engagement and when you are ready you'll know.
2006-12-28 13:07:41 · answer #6 · answered by Tori 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to be scared. My mom was scared when she got remarried, but now she is happier than ever.
2006-12-28 13:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by pinkzebra396 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to be afraid; however, you have to remember that this guy is not that guy. You saw something different in your husband-to-be, right? Believe in him and give him a chance. Comparing him to your ex is a sure fire way to cause havoc.
2006-12-28 13:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are not ready to re-marry. I would get couple counseling BEFORE you get married. Once everything is out in the open, and your secure in the knowledge that he is who he is - and is not going to change - only then should you consider getting married.
Good Luck
2006-12-28 13:04:52 · answer #9 · answered by halloweenbride97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What we fear most is fear itself. If you love him go ahead and get married. If he does like the first one and leaves, at least you will know what to expect, having been through it before, and it will be easier. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
2006-12-28 13:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by robert b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is an unnatural institution. It shouldn't take a piece of paper and some empty words to prove your love for each other. **** marriage.
2006-12-28 13:05:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋