my partner of 7 years has moved away, left me and his daughter, i keep asking him if we are over but he wont give me a straight yes or no answer. why is he doing this to me? he says he dosent know what he wants and that he is finding it very hard being away from me and his daughter? i just dont understand him anymore???
2006-12-28 04:54:07 · 23 answers · asked by ann_jacques 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I note you are using this forum to get answers to a lot of your questions, all with the same theme. Nothing wrong in that but you appear to be desperate and totally at a loss as to why this has happened to you. I am not sure if this is the best place to get your answers as some people use this forum for fun and may give some hurtful answers, please be aware of that when looking at replies. To answer your question though, stop trying to understand where he is coming from. If anything he is simply fed up (bored) with your relationship which may or may not have resulted in him finding someone else. He is probably just as confused as you are and therefore unable to provide a solid answer. So stop nagging for answers, if anything you are driving him away further. Your priority now is to your daughter. You should not be attacking him with the 'Why' but with a 'OK, you have moved out - but you have a responsibility to the upkeep of a child, what are WE (note: its a joint thing) going to do about it?' When he starts to sort that out WITH you, you will see the depth of his intent - i.e.: he is temporarily 'getting away' from it all and he hopes to come back when he feels he can, or he is putting forward a more permanent plan suggesting he is not likely to ever come back. With this plan, you are both putting your emotions to one side and dealing with a real issue - your daughter's upkeep. This will help you both work together initially on something you have in common before you move on later to your actual realtionship. If you do sense it is a permament thing, don't do the hysterics, find your dignity and move on. You may have a very low opinion of yourself at the moment, but I looked at your 360 and you are an attractive woman with a future. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I am in my second marriage and lived through the same experience. There is a life after divorce, and I have a better life now after my wife ditched me taking two young children. I have a very good realtionship with my kids, now teenagers, and a lovely wife. Hold your head up, clear the cobwebs of self pity and doubt and move on. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-28 22:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably doesn't know the answer. He's told you that he misses being with you and your daughter. Something that you haven't been made aware of is pulling him from you. If he did something as radical as moving away something inside him wasn't happy there. It doesn't necessarily mean that you weren't or aren't a good person. It means the relationship you shared wasn't fulfilling to him.
With time he will probably tell you what is going on. For me or anyone to guess what could cause him to leave the both of you would be that... just guessing. There are a whole host of reasons why someone is unsatisfied. Some of them might not even have anything to do with you directly.
The way I see it right now your only responsibility is to yourself and your daughter. You need to find strength in yourself to make and have a happy and stable life for the two of you. Having a partner who is happy and loving and sharing and supportive is a wonderful thing to have in your life. I understand that you probably thought that's what you had. Maybe he's just lost sight of that for awhile.
What I hope you keep in mind is whether you are with this man again or alone or find someone else to share your life with...
No one else can determine your happiness. YOU have to find that within yourself. Once you realize you determine your happiness in life and conduct yourself that way good things will happen for you. Whatever that may be.
I wish you and your daughter a life full of happiness!
Believe in yourself! This feeling of abandonment will pass. You truly have so much fun in life to look forward to!
Bless you!! Happy Holidays!!
A friend who's been there.
2006-12-28 05:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously knows you, and knows and loves his daughter, so he knows what he is doing to you both.
You know it's over coz it's not what it was, so quit asking him if it's over or not.
YOU need to tell him it's over and it should shake him enough to stop thinking about himself all the time, and be honest with you and his daughter.
"He don't know what he wants".....Oh yes he does!.... he's moved away! Of course he's finding it hard being away from you both... but he's doing it!!
I'm sure you get confused at times, but you'd miss your loved ones too much, to be able to stay away, so you'd bring yourself back!!
Why you trying to understand him...? He knows what he's doing. He knows whats going on.
He has moved away, moved on with his life...... even if it's not permanent, but YOU can't help him to have the best of both worlds. STAY STRONG.
All the best Girl!! a New Year is coming a new beginning for you and your daughter.
'Ave a good 1
2006-12-28 06:43:02 · answer #3 · answered by ZeeZee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has you dangling on a piece of string.
Has he been abusive at all. ???
Is there a reason why he is in control ??
My ex got the phone disconnected and left me 2 weeks after giving birth by C-Section.
So you know what I did, I deliberatly left my phone at my mates house so he couldn't get in touch with me.
My ex had me living 200 miles from my family and 10 miles to the next town.
He had me so low, and kept leaving me and returning as and when he pleased, he was also mentally and physically abusive.
Who is he to tell you that you are finished,
Take control,
Tell him you are finished,
Get you hair cut, wear make up and please yourself.
He'll soon miss you and come running back.
My ex [i love that word]
Was always leaving, and even chucked his wedding ring off 4 days after our wedding cos I asked him a question about a motorbike !!!
So I left him
and got counselling
Get tough babe
You deserve to be treated like a queen
2006-12-28 05:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stop asking, its over. how long has he been gone? If he cant give you a straight answer then be the bigger "man" (u know what i mean) and move on with your life for you and your daughter.
2006-12-28 05:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by short 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell him right there and then what he wants, if he wants to be with you and your daughter, or if he wants to be part of your daughters life, and make him give a straight answer there and then, if not then say you might not ever wanna speak or see him again. and you wont let your daughter see him either.
2006-12-28 05:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop ASKING him if you are over.
What do YOU want?
Have a big think, TELL him what YOU want, then ask him if he can give it to you. Give him two options YES or NO. If he says "I don't know" take it as a no and get on with your life.
Put yourself and your needs a little higher up the priority ladder!
2006-12-28 05:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by Haydn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Integrity is the respond. Honesty is often the suited coverage. many times those with detrimental self-worth, thought, & photograph are the deceptive ones. they are afraid that individuals will see them for whom they are actual. Why do you think of avon, faberge, mary kay, and greater than a number of alternative makeup agencies make billions on women individuals-care products?
2016-10-28 13:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not know what he wants it may be better you leave him alone. Your daughter needs stability in her life. If he is that unhappy you dont want that he is only holding you back from true happiness.
2006-12-28 04:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by MusicWoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes hedging his bets and keeping an open door in case it doesnt work out at the other end, allow his access to your daughter - go out, get a date find a new man - who hoo
2006-12-28 08:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mercy J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋