My husband almost left me over his close friendship with a woman he works with. Can we survive this and how?

Question

2 fridays ago my husband told me that he was leaving me. He denied any involvement with anyone else. He really wanted to go out on the Saturday night with his workmates. I asked him to go out, stay at his mums and come home with his decision on sunday. He came home saying that he wanted to stay with me. Over the following week he admitted that he had got close, over the past couple of weeks to a woman at work. They texted and phoned but he says nothing else happened. I believe him when he says that he didn't sleep with her. She was out on the saturday with his workmates and him and that he decided then that he didn't want her but me. We have been married 14 years. Earlier on this year he went on a site called adult friend finders, didn't speak to anyone on it but kept looking at the site until i found out. He says the problem was that i was always on the computer and that he felt i didn't want him. I wasn't paying him much attention and will now but is it really that simple?

Answer 1

Dump the prick. Get a better man with a bigger...prick.....

Answer 2

Girl u sound like u have a good husband. He didn't have to tell u anything. After 14yrs maybe he thought of spices up his sex life with other women. I believe all men and some women think about it sometime in there marriage. It's like a fantasy. But, don't get on his case about that. Am sure u had a few fantasy of your own. The point is he didn't. Maybe he shouldn't of never talked to this women, and I agree with u.But the main thing is he never sleep with her or came close.And that he was able to tell u the problem. And now it's up to u. And if u really want to get good in being a better wife read the proper care and feeding of husbands and buy him ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger. I think u and your husband can learn from those books.

Answer 3

You dont know for sure if he slept with her. You want to believe him, so you do. That's ok. What's NOT ok is the internet dating. There's where his intent shows. If you want to make your marriage new again, you have to start with the little things. Have a "date night" once a week. Have a common hobby or interest together. If you show you want to be with him, he will not be "distracted". Going back takes alot of work, so be confident and smile when you see each other. Also, keeps tabs on where he is. Make sure he doesnt have the opportunity to stray.

Answer 4

man often need consent attention to feel wanted(some more than other)and sometimes my honey will begin to act funny but the only difference is he will come and tell me and then we straighten things out.People get busy and they get into a routine and sometimes that is not a good thing and people get overlooked and when that happens they will turn to someone else (not always in the form of an affair but maybe to friends)and if you dont catch it or ignore it ,the consequences can be damaging.Try to pay attention more and you guys will be fine.Ask that he tell you when maybe you are getting into a routine again that way it doesnt go that far again.Once you notice these signs and learn to pickup on them its smooth sailing .Never take anyone for granted.Everybody needs to be appreciated and fulfilled.Good luck.
p.s 8 yrs of marriage and lot more to come!!

Answer 5

It sounds like he is being honest with you and yes, it can be that simple. Men need lots of attention and it sounds like that is what he is craving. Don't give up on a 14 year marriage so quickly. Try to spend more time together to "rebond". In love, anything can be forgiven. Try not to use the info. he gave you against him in any way. Good luck to you both.

Answer 6

When someone is a relationship feels neglected, the simple solution to them is to find what they have been missing. I guess, in order to get over this you both have to figure out what's lacking and if there is anything that you can do to make it better. I think also, that you both have to be willing to work together to figure this out which means, no online stuff, no chatting, texting, etc. But you have to start by communicating.

Answer 7

It is never that simple. He is obviously not happy. If you want to save your relationship, I would seriously advise you to invest in marriage counseling. That will help you figure out all of the obstacles in your marriage and develop ways to overcome them. Based on my own experience, I'd say that he talked to the woman that night and discovered that she was not interested in him or had changed her mind. It is a setup for a future affair or divorce because he is not happy and is seeking happiness. Go to counseling to help the two of you through this.

Answer 8

If you believe him that he didn't sleep with her, then be grateful that he chose to come back and work things out. It is a natural human thing to be attracted to the opposite sex, and normal to begin to have feelings if there is something missing in your relationship.
See if he will go to a marriage counselor with you, and by all means, listen to hm about your computer time, and give him more attention.

Answer 9

I think it really could be that simple.

I'd encourage you to get into counseling. It seems like he's just feeling a little abandoned. It may be because you've done something... it may be because he's not feeling strong and appreciated.

I think he sounds like a good guy. Fourteen years is a long time and if you love him (sounds like you do) then proactively get together and get your love back on track.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I suggest marriage counseling! 14 years is worth trying to save!

Answer 11

If you were really spending more time on the computer and ignored him, then I don't blame him for looking for attention in other places. You need to unplug your computer and spend more time with your family. His fault is that he should have asked you to lay off the computer cause he felt neglected.