i called my girl/f parents on phone, i talked with them and i told them that really their daughter is mine to be.. that i really love her and want to get married to her.they responded well but later when my girl visited her parents they told her that i was too arrogant to talk to them on phone concerning their daughter and that it doesn't portray respect and other things they expressed what do you think? i need your help.
Thanks.
2006-12-28 03:20:06 · 9 answers · asked by Apelete M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should talk to your girlfriend and arrange a conversation in person with her and her parents present. Good Luck. Happy New Year.
2006-12-28 03:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to them and do some listening. Obviously, you said something wrong or in a way that hit a nerve. Dating someone's daughter who doesn't like you is one thing, but to offer up marriage, all gloves come off. Were you not aware of such issues in the past? Did they never express such issues in the past to you or to her? Someone had to know something? YOu cannot come between a girl and her family! Thats a taboo so strong that if you do, she will resent you more and more with each passing year. You need to do some repair and fast.
If you open pandora's box, then you must sit down and suck it up and deal with what they have to say. Let them vent. Don't argue, just soak it all up. Hopefully, they will have a valid issue or issue that you can resolve. If not, then your gf will need to come up with a plan that you and they can live with. If she is important to you, then you will try to make peace.
Keep in mind that you might not be able to do so. I'm not saying to just give in, but if you care for her, you will try to be civil towards them. They should also try to do the same. If lines are drawn, she will have to make a choice. Would you leave your family over a girl?!?! Any girl?! Its your mom, dad, ..it's family. Don't ask her to do that. Make peace if you can. You might even want to express, that you love her so much, you want to be on good terms with them. They may respect that and might be willing to make concessions. don't make promises that you cannot keep though. You are now being held to higher standards. If you lie to them, they will hang that over your head where your gf is concerned. You need be humble even if only for a while.
2006-12-28 11:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the lines of communication open. How about arranging to meet them for lunch or dinner sometime so you can "lay all the cards on the table"? You might earn brownie points for making the effort to maintain an open, honest relationship with them. And if they still want to talk behind your back then that needs to be discussed with your girlfriend. It could be an issue that could come between the two of you in the future. Just remember, honesty is best even if it is not exactly comfortable all the time. It helps build trust.
2006-12-28 11:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go over to the parents house and apologize for not having sat down to discuss this great issue in the first place. tell em that you got so excited when you came to that conclusion and they were the first people you wanted to tell. you didn't mean to spill the beans over the phone, you just got ahead of yourself
2006-12-28 11:24:52 · answer #4 · answered by toonice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to be nicer when you talk with people. I have the same problem, I have a prettty gruff voice and people take me as yelling even when im just talking normally!!!
2006-12-28 11:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want this to work, play by thier rules. Apologise for being disrespectful, be polite and say you were VERY nervous. Good luck
2006-12-28 11:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by Reisnoh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told them that their daughter was to be yours? What a jacka*ss. If I were them I would ask you not to call anymore either.
2006-12-28 11:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the same thing, this matters have to be addressed in person and over some alcohol
2006-12-28 12:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time, just shoot 'em an email. I would probably have that coversation in person.
2006-12-28 11:32:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋