My brother-in-law seems fixated with my wife which upsets both of us, what is the best way to back him off without making family problems?
2006-12-28 03:09:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My sisters husband
2006-12-28 03:19:45 · update #1
Might I also add, the comments are made in what are supposed to be a joking manner, so then if anyone showed they were upset then I'm sure the response would be he's just being funny. Then we can't take a joke. Which means he's smart enough to have an exit strategy.
2006-12-28 05:39:39 · update #2
Let him know that his behaviour bothers and makes your wife uncomfortable, and if he continues, then you will have to limit his contact with no only your wife but yourself.
Then, when he is around and is doing those activities, make sure to confront him on it then. He might not know what it is that he is doing until you confront him with it right then.
Dont be harsh or try to embarass him, but just kinda mention it to him AS HE DOES IT.
Good luck!
2006-12-28 03:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by *meh* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are positive there is an issue, please say something to him asap man to man. Tell him you've noticed he's checking her out inappropriately (or whatever) and it makes you both uncomfortable, and it would be appreciated if he stopped. That should get the point across. If it doesnt, then you've certainly done your part and the family will know that.
My brother in law (husbands brother) hit on me (extremely inappropriately) a few times, last time was on our wedding day.. I told my husband a few days after, the two of them got into it and it became a huge family mess... I should have said something sooner, and dealt with it sooner but being 'new' to the family I didnt know what to do...
It was horrible for a few years, and we still do not talk to this day and he is not welcome in our home (10 years later).
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope he has the good sense to get his head out of his @ss and start respecting you and your wife.
2006-12-28 12:04:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got into it with my brother in law a few days ago - Christmas Eve, also my birthday. We were all at a family gathering. I was getting pretty sick and tired of him flirting with my wife who is young and pretty. We've been married for 3 years, happily, while he has been married to my sister for 30 years and she has gone two bouts with cancer. He rarely sat by his own wife but continually sat by my wife and tried to play footsy with her. I would ask her to come back to look at the computer with me and then we would come back and change seats so he would quit.
But, back to the family gathering. Once again, he was sitting next to my wife and started moving his chair closer and closer to hers. I noticed my cousin looking down at my BILs feet, but I couldn't see what was going on, but I had a fair guess. I got up to bring some cans back to the kitchen and when I turned around I saw that he had moved his knee so that it was pressing right into her butt cheek. My wife didn't know what to do, since it was a family gathering (her first with my family) so I let him have it right then and there by telling him in front of everyone, including his wife (my sister) to move his leg or I'd move it for him. He got embarrased and pulled his chair away.
Later I met him in the parking lot and told him in quite unfreindly terms to stay away from my wife. I'm twice as big as him (though I couldn't really hurt anyone, by nature) and the guy just folded up and ran to my sister and told her how mean I was and that I needed help.
Well, the BIL left us alone after that. I feel really sorry for my sister, though, since she has to finally face the fact that her husband is a letch. The fact remains that even with all the BS that was thrown at me by my BIL and my sister, that he was touching her butt in a way that only I or the family doctor is allowed to do. Even though I am a gentle guy, by nature, if he ever tried it again, I think I might punch him in the nose.
2006-12-30 08:17:06 · answer #3 · answered by robbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your sister know? Make sure she does. If he's hitting on your wife, he's probably hitting on other women. Pray that your sister will dump him and get him out of your family. If not be prepared for problems. My sisters haven't spoken in 6 years because of a similar situation.
2006-12-28 15:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait....your brother in law?? which is your wifes brother is fixated with her??? um thats a little weird...in that case who cares about family probs....dont you think its a problem that your brother in law has a thing for his sister???? which is worse?
Oh well if its your sisters husband..then your best bet is to tell your sister how you feel and why you feel that way.that way she could look out for it and when she does see it then he can call him on it and hopfully that will solve it
2006-12-28 11:12:37 · answer #5 · answered by Pretty Princess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell Him To Back Off.
2006-12-28 11:42:03 · answer #6 · answered by bob r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think right now he is causing the problems,just tell him to back off
2006-12-28 11:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him to back off, for his own good.
2006-12-28 12:26:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean her own brother?
2006-12-28 11:14:38 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋