He will be gone for over a year.
How do I help her through this? You guys got any good ideas?
2006-12-28 02:49:11 · 7 answers · asked by goddess1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sure I do. I would offer to be there for her anytime she needs someone to talk to. I would also go over and bring some good DVDs and hang out with her to occupy her time. She will be sad and lonely. Good luck.
2006-12-28 02:50:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not easy and the old saying absence makes the heart grow fonder is absolutely not true.
A large percent of these long term separations end up to be perminate. A year is plenty of time to find a new lover.
Do what you can and be her friend but do not get very bothered if she finds a new lover.
2006-12-28 02:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a few spa's maybe a weekend getaway somewhere.
go to the gym with her and have her surprise him with an awesome body when he gets back. it's something to look forward to.
go out to eat.
go to the movies
go shopping.
maybe help her remodle their home for when he gets home
2006-12-28 02:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me on this one. My husband was deployed to Iraq when the war started in March of 03. I had a good friend (who introduced the two of us) who I spent a lot of time with, especially after he left. The first couple of weeks were pretty rough. I'll admit, I wasn't myself, but who would be? Your friend will be different, too (for a while, but be patient). After only two weeks, my "friend" started getting irritated with me about being sad, telling me she was sick of it and maybe I needed to get help and stop dragging her down. Needless to say, we don't speak anymore. So, this is what NOT to do. It will be hard on her. But be patient. Tell her from the beginning that if she wants to talk about it, you're there for her, but you're not going to push. I wouldn't bring it up if she doesn't (and tell her if she doesn't think you ask enough about it, it's not that you don't care, you just don't want to push, but you're willing to talk, any time, day or night, when she wants, and follow through with that promise). Maybe after a day or two, cook supper for her and take it to her house. Also be respective of her time with her family and her husband's family. After a little while, see if she wants to go away for a day or two. Trust me, it's hard to leave home in case the phone rings, so plan far enough ahead that she can tell her husband that she is going to be gone from ______ to _______, or maybe that he should call her cell phone then. I missed a call from my husband because I was at work and didn't hear my phone ring. I bawled. It's devastating. She'll be desperate to get every phone call because she'll be worried that will be his last or that something bad happened. Trust me, it will help him, too, knowing that his wife is unwavering in her commitment to him (several women have left their husbands while they were gone, it sucks, it happened to one of my husband's friends). Going out drinking to drown sorrows is probably not the best idea. It doesn't help. Also, you have to show her the same support when he comes home. Trust me, the return for these men is rough. My husband is just now starting to be himself after being home for 3 years. What you can do (and don't talk to your friend about it much) is learn about PTSD prior to him coming home. Maybe you can help your friend spot symptoms of the disease before things get out of control at home. Trust me. This will help. I didn't realize my husband's problem until he climbed up the neighbor's tree to hide from the Iraqis he thought were everywhere. I just wondered why he was so emotionally abusive to me and what I did wrong. Don't harp about it, though. Learn as much as you can about it before he comes home and talk to her in confidence if you think you see problems arising (keep in mind, the symptoms are considered normal for the first several months, but if they persist, then there is considered to be a problem). All you can do is educate yourself. Good luck with your friend, and good luck to her and pray for him.
2006-12-28 03:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen when she wants to talk; take her out when she is depressed; and remind her to send him mail.
2006-12-28 02:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Inquisitive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out alot and do fun things to take her mind off it and just be there for her...
atleast he's not going to Iraq...it's slightly safer!
2006-12-28 02:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just always be there and be her friend--no matter what.
2006-12-28 02:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋