How do I find the woman of my dreams? I am a very loving compassionate individual. I was in a relationship with a very attractive woman that had my full attention but, because of the importance of keeping my children well grounded with their Mom and me... Remaining ammlicable, speaking to each other with kindness, and showing my 4 and 2yr old boys... just because Mom and dad aren't together anymore doesn't mean they need to pick a side or be afraid to tell one of what is going on in the other household. I am afraid to meet ladies after this... I feel like I have been emotionally abused by the ex girlfriend's insecurities. She could have had it all with me... now, I am back on the market and not motivated to go to a club and drink six beers and profess my love to the chic at the bar.... Why are women tough to meet for me? I like to dress my best, I keep my house clean, I iron, I cook, I have a great job... my children are very well behaved.... I am lost and sad.
2006-12-28 02:41:06 · 13 answers · asked by hrfrontman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Meeting people and being worthy of love are two different things. You could be the best guy in the world, but no-one's going to know it if you don't get out and meet people.
Become active in your interests, or find new ones to involve yourself in. Seek out events, gatherings, and clubs that revolve around those same interests. Worst case scenario - you spend your time doing what you love. Best case - you find someone to care for that enjoys the same things you do.
2006-12-28 02:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Just Some Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a great guy, you didn't tell us why your marriage failed. The important thing is do not question the kids on what goes on in the other ones house. They are already trying to deal with the 2 people they love being in seperate homes. They are really to little to understand. You will find someone to date but that may not happen overnight. Hopefully when you do start to date you will not let your kids in on that fact. If you find someone and continue dating her then gradually introduce this to the kids like , this is daddys friend soandso.. Maybe the reason that the club scene doesn't sound good is because you have grown up and have children now and you know that those are usually not a good place to meet someone that you are looking to have a long term relationship with. Take your time, it will happen, and hopefully your ex takes this same stuff into consideration when it comes to the kids. good luck
2006-12-28 10:52:16 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry you are lost and sad. There is someone out there you but she was just not the one.
When I married i understood that my husband three kids were a part of his life as is his Xwife.
Some woman have a hard time dealing with the X and just can not get used to the idea, but when children are involved shes gonna be around for a long time. My husbands X and I have actually become friends so the kids can not play us against one another.
I know its hard but just keep looking you will find somone right for you. Try doing volunteer work in the community or at the kids school. There are other places to meet people than bars and clubs.
2006-12-28 10:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sooooo tired of insecure women!!! Consider yourself lucky that she is no longer in your life. She would've been a terrible step-mom to your children!!
The fact that you are trying to maintain an amicable relationship with your ex-wife is respectable. Your children will benefit greatly from that!!
As far as moving on......give yourself some time. You will find the right person. The last thing you want to do is settle for someone out of loneliness and sadness. Don't go looking for Miss Right in a bar either - not a good idea.
Continue to focus on your children, and someone will come into your life when you least expect it! Best of luck!
2006-12-28 12:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, if you want honesty, here it is honey: Get off the pity party band wagon and reclaim some of that self esteem you use to have. Quite frankly, you come across as an overly sensative man and women just don't want that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying become a hardened jerk or something, I'm simply saying that it has to balance out. We all want the nice guy to live with and raise our children, but we also want a bit of that "bad guy" to keep it interesting and take control once in a while. You, somehow along the line, have lost that. Get it back honey. Reclaim what was once yours. You said it yourself, she could have had it all by being with you...that means you think you are worth something. Now act as though you are and quit feeling sorry for yourself. No women is going to want damaged goods hon. It's time to put the past behind you.
2006-12-28 10:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I does sound like you are a very good person and do deserve to be happy with someone. But just because you are trying to be civil with you ex-wife doesn't mean you have to see her all the time or talk with her very much. Your responsibility lies with your children not your ex-wife. You two can be civil by not fighting and by making decisions together to raise your two children.
But any women you meet will be turned off if you still have a close relationship with you ex-wife. It is an insecurity issue but you have to put yourself in their shoes....if she had a ex would you want her to be talking to him and being all friendly all the time...probably not.
Im not saying you can't talk to your ex anymore...but it should only be about important issues regarding the kids. You can be civil but you don't have to be friends with her.
Also, if you stay at home all the time it will be hard to meet new women. You shouldn't go out and party because that is bad for you kids...but you still need to find ways to meet women.
Good Luck...
2006-12-28 11:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by ~*SuMmEr*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can sympathize, I am an attractive, smart, 25 yr old single mother of one, and cant seem to find a good man. Someone who wont play games and knows what they want, is it possible anymore to commit to one single person, it feels that every man I meet will continue to search for the next best thing. Lost and sad as well.
If you would like to chat, check out my profile, you may email me. Much luck to you.
2006-12-28 10:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by dreamer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you try using presonnel websites i am not saying find a match there but that is a good place to look i knew some people who have found their wives not girl friends on these websites if you do not like going out that is fine try some one at work i am sure someone will find you it is just a matter of time
2006-12-28 10:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by khanaliimran 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe try an online site. Like match.com
They had a survey on the radio about that yesterday, how many people really find their soulmate on their. You can chat with different people in your area.
Of course be careful with online dating but i did hear it was great.
good luck.
2006-12-28 10:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly posses all those qualities, you are bound not to be alone for long. Too bad we can't hook up!
2006-12-28 10:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋