I asked a question earlier but it wasn't understood?

Question

I asked about paternity, but everyone misunderstood. I'm asking, How do I deal with this mentally. NO I am not trying to get out of paying support! No, I did not cheat.(where'd that come from?) And no DNA was not in the question. I said it was ethical, not biological

Answer 1

I think you look at it as you are supporting a child that you love. Basically focusing on the positive aspects instead of looking at the negatives.

The comparison you mentioned in the other question is not a good idea anyway. They never make you a better person, even if you believe you compare favorably to the potential father.

Focus on being the best Dad you can be, and that the goal is to support a young girl you love.

I believe that will take you a long way with dealing with this troublesome situation.

Answer 2

I guess it all depends on what you are trying to deal with. Is it your kid or not is the question! If you are the daddy its part of life son, deal with it. Being a parent is one of the most wonderful things to be, and being a grandparent is even more wonderful. This is realism, and Ethical.. HA! good luck.. Don't make it worse than it is.. Its great having a little one look up to you in so many ways.. Take Care: :) Peace

Answer 3

Anyone can donate sperm to father a child , but as a mother of 2 girls whos fathers (sperm donors) were never there for them, I can say , Anyone can father a child but it takes a real man to be a dad. If you love a child and want to be there for the child I think that is more important than who donated the sperm.so to speak. Does this help or do I still not understand the question?

Answer 4

you just deal with it. The only thing a child wants is stability and knowing that someone will always be there for them no matter what. You don't have to go out and spend money on them, just give them love. No one is perfect at being a parent just be there and always spend time with them, even if it's talking to them, helping them ride a bike, putting a puzzle together or letting them sit in your lap/or beside you and watching TV. Don't try to be perfect..........you can do it, it will be fine.

Answer 5

wow...little testy are we? If you love the child and you want to continue paying her support, then you have made a choice....go with that and let go of the rest...it doesn't help you or anyone to dwell on what ifs.....if you can't let go then do something to change the situation so you can deal with it.....figure out a way to make peace with it.....good luck

Answer 6

if in your heart u feel responsible for the child, love the mom, and the child than support the child, but if the child belonged to someone else, why would u want to make it your responsibility? maybe u and the mom won't always be together, and than u will be stuck paying for a child for years and years, who isn't even yours.

Answer 7

i dont think you understood your own question b/c if your saying that the child looks like someone else that means that you do have doubts about the status of the child and also if you say she cheated you have doubts so what i can say is if you think shes yours and your happy leave it alone b/4 it eats you up inside leave well enough alone

Answer 8

it is not going to be easy. You have to brace your self for low times and hard times but know that it gets better. If possible you should probably seek out a group or counseling to help express your concerns out loud. It will get better!

Answer 9

You have to be in love with the thought of being a parent that it is your responsibility to teach, care and support the child. you get to teach to them what you felt you missed, give them what you didnt etc
"I hope I understood

Answer 10

Seek Counseling!!!!