Anything I can do now???Advice???

Question

I told my close female friend that I needed time away from her to clear my head after she kept giving me undecisive answers if we'll go further than friends.She said if that's how I feel then she respects that and that maybe I do need time to sort my head out.(told her I don't know what to think\do anymore about her undecisiveness,am confused,need to clear my head).

The conversation ended on this note, with her saying:

"I never feel nothing for anybody and every individual means something to me in their own unique way.Thats all I'm going to say". MEANING???

She then said there are too many ppl in the world who are 2 faced and selfish,who don't value individuals like she does.Is hurt that OTHER ppl don't value ppl the way she does.MEANING???

Not spoken for 3 weeks now(the longest ever!)Have I hurt her?Would she still be thinking about me?The friendship over?

For xmas I sent her a xmas card and a small teddy(saying special friend)-just saying merry xmas and happy new year. I wrote a short message how special and unique she is+ how important the friendship is to me.

Who'd get 1st in touch again?

Would this be ok??OR Would she throw the card\gift in the bin??
She appreciate it??Her reaction to the message??

p.s. gift not delivered yet, due to xmas break in post…...

I've txt twice-no reply(2 weeks ago).Is she still just giving me the time apart I requested or has the friendship ended in her view?

Would she get in touch after receiving the card\gift?

Am ready to accept being friends-friendship is better than nothing.

Answer 1

the first thing she said means that she has affectionate feelings toward all people, and each type of affection is unique. She is pretty much saying she loves all people, but with different types of love. In the second thing, she is saying that she truly appreciates each individual, unlike some people who only pretend to like a person and then treat them badly behind their back. she is saying that her emotions are true, and she is hurt when other people dont have the same affection and tolerance she does. I think this girl is trying to say that she has a unique affection toward you but she feels you do not have this same affection and are being two-faced. call her and discuss, open up to her with your true feelings and ask her to do the same. be honest, or this will never be resolved

Answer 2

She is just giving you the time that you asked for. However don't do anything until after the new year, and then I think that you should go and see her and take with you a box of favourite sweets or chocolates or both and try and sort things out as this has obviously gone on far longer than either of you expected.

Say to her that you don't care how long this takes but you want to clear the air with her and make things right, because the two of you are friends and the last few months have been horrible without her.

Hopefully this should work, but if it doesn't then you might have to accept the fact that you've lost her and you will have to find another friend

Answer 3

To start with, I respect you for being honest with this girl, as women we always complain that men are never honest with us, but when you guys are if it's something we don't want to hear we tend to get defensive.

It sounds like she's given you your "space" like you asked, and I'm just wondering what you've decided with this "space" that you've had.

Whatever you have decided you need to keep the honesty up and tell her, if you have already posted the present and card I would give her a call explaining your thoughts a day or two after it would have been expected to be delivered. If you haven't posted it yet, I would add to the card explaining how you feel and what you learned from the time away from her, and then post it.

Go ahead and make the first move to working this out, because I know I (and probably a lot of other women) brood over things and wait until the other person is willing to soothe my feelings. It's also best to sort these kind of things out fairly quickly because the longer you wait the less likely to rekindle the friendship/relationship.

Hope this helps,
Good luck, hunni!

Answer 4

I am not sure what those statements meant, but it sounds to me like she doesn't want the relationship between the two of you to be anymore than friends.

She is probably feeling a little hurt that you are pushing her to make that decision. It seems that she values your friendship, but doesn't understand why it has to be taken to another level. Maybe part of her is scared that if she does allow it to become more and it doesn't work, she will lose you all together.

Are you willing to maintain the friendship if her answer to you is NO? If she doesn't want to become more than friends, will you still want to be in a friendship with her and will you be happy with that? If so, you need to tell her that. You need to explain to her that you have feelings for her, but you do not want to lose her as a friend. Explain that if she doesn't have the same feelings it is ok, and that no matter what, her friendship is more important to you than anything else.

If you are not ok with just being friends, then you need to stay away. She obviously isn't ready to take that step right now, and you pressuring her is only pushing her away!!!

Answer 5

You've got to make the call here. You're the one who asked for space so as far as she's concerned she's probably thinking you still need the space so doesn't want to contact you.

To be honest, this whole space thing isn't doing you any good. She is giving you none committal answers because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She clearly doesn't want to go any further than friends with you but she doesn't want to hurt you by telling you that and she doesn't want to ruin the friendship either. Her comments that you mention don't mean anything significant - they are just things she said to avoid saying what she truly feels. Asking her to give you space has just made you even more confused because you still don't have closure either way. As I mentioned earlier, its now up to you to phone her and test the water. Your friendship will still be there but I doubt very much this will ever go any further. If you can accept this and move on then great, if not you might need to fiend a new friend.

Answer 6

She doesnt like you enough. Since she is telling U she value as a friend and that every individual means something for her she is telling you that she knows how important you are but not the way you want it. She may be the greatest girl in the world but she probably dont want any serious relationship w/ U.

and w/ the 2nd sentence another clue!!!! she sees U as a best friend, as someone to trust but not as a partner or boyfriend or nothing like that.

Just forget about her as a couple, just be her friend and let things happen, if it is meant to be it will be if it is not....just move on

ahhhhh you call her becuase you are the one that asked for time off.

Answer 7

OK let me get this straight, you told her that you wanted time away from her in order to clear you head? And now you can't understand why she is staying away? You say she is undecided and yet so are you. You both seem to be very young and although you are not happy with each other, you would rather be with her than no one. You told her you wanted time away from her. So, take this time to be with someone else. I would be willing to put a million dollar bet on the fact that a relationship with this girl will never work. Look for a new flame. Maybe next time you won't be so quick to tell her you want time away.

Answer 8

I'd say call her. If she slams the phone in your ear then at least you know where this friendship is heading. Maybe its her way to ask you to make a move. Maybe she is waiting for you to make that call??

Let me know how it went, okey??

Answer 9

just phone her make the 1st move to sort it out, if she puts the phone down then at least you ll know where you stand

Answer 10

Billie Jean is not my lover