I have been with this guy for more than 5 years, lately he has totally gone down the wrong road... At this time I am trying to make a better life for me and my kid but he has just been a negative impact on out lives, I want a man who is stable and has his stuff together..The problem is I really love him and he has always been there for me, I feel like I am being selfish for wanting a better life....We have a very close bond with eachother sometimes I feel like he is my soul mate...but my child and my future are on the line, How do I breakup with the man I love...
2006-12-28 02:03:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes Love is NOT enough. You need someone that will help you work for a better life for you the child and them.
I dont know what he is doing to create a "Negative" impact, but the fact that you feel he is doing this is cause for concern.
Love can hurt and it is always meant to be, you have to make life choices with your head and not always your heart.
Best of luck
2006-12-28 02:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Kat,
You sound as though you've been looking for a way out so just leave you're not doing him any good by trying to endure the inevitable. You do sound a little selfish but in this case for your child I would say you're right. If he's being negative it will only bring you down and continue to do damage to your relationship or your daughter. Do you have family or a close friend you could stay with for a while? Don't leave unless you have a place to go or you'll be worse off than you are now. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-28 02:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you consider yourself selfish for wanting a better life for you and your child? That is absurd. If you feel that he is negatively affecting your life then you have no choice but to leave. I know that you love this guy, but sometimes love is not enough. You need to tell him that you do not like the way your life is heading and you want to be alone at this point. Let him know that you love him, but he needs to get his life in order before you two can continue. You can probably work things out, but you have to be honest with him or he'll never try to change. You have to think about your child because you are not the only person affected by your decision. Good luck and God bless!
2006-12-28 02:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by TRUST_ME 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's absolutely the right thing to do. More than that, it is your obligation and duty to. It is his fault that you are going to have to pick it up and move on down the road to make a better life because if your waiting on him, your messing up because he may never straighten out. At least not with a little help or attitude adjustment.
You doing that may just be the wake up call that he needs. I just imagine that he will get ticked off at first, then think about it a little while, realize that your not blugging and then try to get on board with you. It's like get on the train or be left behind.
2006-12-28 02:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other at at ime. Stay in contact with people who can be a great sounding board. Actually you don't want to burn out friends, but that is a great place to start. I always find counseling helpful in these situations and it often can be had free or at minimal cost through employers. Otherwise, see what your benefits are for mental health through you medical benefits. Your like is like the wave across a football field. Your individual wave, when you stand up and sit down is only momentary, just like life. You only have limited time to make a difference in your own life and that of the child. Make one step towards independence from this man today only if it is not ignore one of his calls.
2006-12-28 02:12:39 · answer #5 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try talking to him and express your feelings and the future of your child. Be firm on the aspect that divorce is the only solution, if he does not compromise. Marriage is a consent between two partners to look after each others needs. If that is not being fulfilled I think it is better to leave him.
2006-12-28 02:13:57 · answer #6 · answered by Tony 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have u first given him a chance to make changes ? if so than theres very little u can do, as u both aren't on the same page as far as life's expectations. takes alot more than love to be happy and comfortable in life, soon if there are financial troubles, the love soon flies right out the window.
2006-12-28 02:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter where you go, that man will always be in your life. You might want to inform him that you are fed up and wanting to leave. If he still doesn't do anything to make things better, then leave. Thank you and good luck.
2006-12-28 02:13:30 · answer #8 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he seems like a nice guy from what you have said, your soulmate, someone been there for you. I suggest trying to find out why is he going down the wrong road, try helping him, and being there for him.
2006-12-28 02:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well - I can only assume that you are making the right decission unless I was to hear why you are leaving him and would think you are out of your mind. If he is doing something really bad then you should leave.
Good Luck!!!
2006-12-28 02:10:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋