My daughter's father does not pay his court ordered child support and has been put in jail once so far for this. I still allow him to see her on a regular basis.
2006-12-28 01:59:44 · 20 answers · asked by Linda 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
A court date has been set for January 10, 2007.
2006-12-28 02:17:06 · update #1
It's such a tough issue. You don't want to cause a rift between your daughter and your father and you don't want to punish your daughter for what he is doing or use her as a pawn. At the same time, he's not upholding the financial part of his obligations and he needs to do that. If you honestly think that it would help him start to pay, you could always try it. But if you don't think he'll pay either way it seems like it would do more harm then good. I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation. My best to you and your child.
2006-12-28 02:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by leaptad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most states don't have a "you have to pay your child support if you want to see your child" clause; most states follow that within each court order there are consequences for not following the order and when the order is not followed those consequences will go into effect, that's why when he didn't pay he was put in jail; what will happen if you don't follow the court order and not allow him to see his child and if there is no court order allowing him visitation then you must stop visitation until he can get a court order for visitation. He has a right to see his child, but he also has an obligation to put her first and when he gets the order for visitation he is proving that he has a true desire to see his child and not just a wonton act of spite against you; my ex would promise to come and get the kids and never show up and then when he would show up, usually a week late, he would demand that I let the girls go with him...this went on for ages until I got a court order for child support and then he wouldn't pay it, but still wanted to see them I told him to go get his own court order and he didn't; now I don't have that problem; I still don't get child support, but at least my girls' hearts aren't being broken every time he calls and wants to see them on his whim...if he calls at all!
2006-12-28 02:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This has to be hard for you. Visitation and child support should be two different issues. However, depending on the state that you live in there should be a free service to where the state will represent you for free and go after him again for arrearages. At least get a judgment for back pay. I would continue to allow him to see his daughter but i would definitely get him back into Court as soon as possible. Maybe this time they will take the child support out of his pay check. Good Luck!
2006-12-28 02:04:45 · answer #3 · answered by brit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's up to you personally. If you want her to continue to see her father on a regular basis then let her. But I would go back to the courts and have them take the money out of his check. Not promising it will work when I had it done he started quiting all jobs when it got that far and would work under the table a lot, so they couldn't see he was working. But if it is a healthy relationship they have together and he is good to her I would let her see him. I lot of men are just dead-beat dads that don't pay nor see their kids. Have you had him make up for the lack of child support in other ways, covering when you need a sitter so you don't have to pay someone else, or buying her things she needs.... Good Luck! You not alone in this battle!
2006-12-28 02:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by kay2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only one that can answer this question is you. As the mother, do the right thing for your child. After all, she won't be little very long, and eventually she will make her own choice about seeing her dad. Don't give her reason to resent you by taking away her daddy. But be honest with her. Tell her why she can't have that toy she wants or go to that movie because you can't afford it because Dad won't pay support and you have to raise her financially on your own.
Besides, I doubt taking away his visitation will make him pay child support, considering jail didn't work.
2006-12-28 02:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by badneighborvt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rachel M is right
It is a court order and you must do your part to uphold your end of the order. These are two different issues in the order and YOU are doing the right thing by following the law.
I know it is hard (i've been there myself) but continue to set a good example for your child and her father. Maybe he will get his act together and start paying!
2006-12-28 02:13:58 · answer #6 · answered by Wild Honey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but its a great tool for you if you don`t want him around. Just keep going after the child support. Keep tabs on how much he owes and every time he shows up let him know. As the child support owed builds eventually he will stop showing up and his visits will be fewer and fewer as he doesn`t want to hear about it when he wants come over.
Then one day you can say where is the $6000 in back CHILD SUPPORT dead beat Dad? "Every time I hear from you it reminds me that you owe the CHILD SUPPORT and I need to get you arrested again. Don`t show up here without the $6142 or I will have you thrown in jail." The amount owed continues to grow. Some dads will give up parental rights to avoid paying once they find out how much they have to pay. Because of statutes of limitation he will owe only a maximum amount but he will continue to owe it till she is 21 yrs old. He continues to then owe her that final amount until the statute of limitation runs out some 6 to 8 yrs later.
A friend did this and they haven`t heard from the DEAD BEAT DAD in 4 years. At last count he owed $16,000. the child is being raised by a good father now and everyone is happy. Remember he has enough money for his girl friend but not his kid.
DEAD BEAT DAD could go to court about visitation but they will only tell him to pay up and take all his money and throw him in jail. They won`t do anything to you, the MOM, except tell you you have to let him see the kid. Contempt of the court is nothing you the one with custody need worry about over this. Judges hate DEAD BEAT dad's. You can also go after the DEAD BEAT dad's property when its up in the thousands. Don`t do it but you can threaten it. After all you want to be rid of him right?
2006-12-28 02:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by Gone Rogue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Although he isn't living upto what the courts have ordered I think it's necessary to still let him be an emotional, physical pressence in your daughters life, so good for you for being the better person.
Not that I'm saying him not paying his child support is a great thing because it certainly is NOT. Why isn't he paying? Lack of job? Low pay? Or just irresponsible?
2006-12-28 02:02:21 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's a bitter pill to swallow but courts have ruled that visitation SHALL NOT be dependant on child support being paid. You do not have the right to deny him visitation because he is delinquent in child support. Take comfort in the fact that you are being the bigger person here and meeting your responsibilities as a parent even if he isn't meeting his financially.
2006-12-28 02:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing by letting you ex see his daughter. Why deprive your daughter from seeing her father? The money issue is between you, your ex, and the courts and if he has already been put in jail then the court system is doing its part.
2006-12-28 02:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by whattdo? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋