My husband & I have been together for 10 years (married for 3), we started dating at 16. Anyways, for the last 3 weeks his mother has been staying with us bechause she has found roaches in her appartment. I am 15 weeks pregnant and would like the last 6 months of my freedom to have a house to ourselves (since we'll have a permanent roomate when the baby comes).
Anyways, she is driving me nuts and even though I only took 2 pillows out of her room (which my husband told me to do during the day) she was balling to him last night about how she's not welcome and suchShe told him when my family stayed there at Christmas I didn't need those pillows but since it was her I suddenly needed them! Anyways, I feel horrible because my husband is caught in the middle. But, he knows how I feeland he's been upset with me because I need to, "be nicer to mother!"
What should I do? Any advice would be helpful!
2006-12-28 01:54:51 · 18 answers · asked by kista_1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunetly, so far the praying isn't working!
As far as getting rid of the roaches. She won't live there anymore because they will continue to come in from other people's appartments. So, she's "trying" (no sh'ses not) to find a new apartment!
2006-12-28 02:01:54 · update #1
3 Weeks? Lady, that is silly. Apparently, Mom still has her son attached to her apron strings. Bad. But, you aren't required to cater to stupidity. I suggest that you inform Hubby that by FEB 1, you will either be living with ONLY him, or you will live by yourself, and he and Mommy can has a great life together. Not ONE day more. Not one hour. And then, do it. Good luck. Your husband will either get Mom out, or you'll at least know who's number one, and can then get divorced, and build a new life. I realize my answer is radical, but you NEED to settle now, the number of people in this marriage. Your mother-in-law had roaches. You'd need to have bats in your belfry, to put up with this situation. (And thank you. I've never used "bats in belfry" before. In 57 years, first time it fit.) LOL
2006-12-28 02:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't go back to her old apartment and you know she is not looking for an apartment on her own. I would set aside a day or two and take her apartment shopping, make a day of it, even take her to lunch. Then go home with all the information and you, your husband and your mother in law can go over all the information you collected ....get excited about the ones you liked and maybe she will also. Try to convenince her that this apartment has these advantages and this one doesn't etc. etc. Get her wheels turning about moving into a new apartment have her sign a new lease, and get her out. Be extra nice to her for the couple days you set aside to go apartment hunting. Anything to get rid of her.
2006-12-28 10:39:38 · answer #2 · answered by whattdo? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't the roaches gone from her apartment by now? Is she moving in with you permanent? You are by no means the problem. She is. And your husband needs to respect the wishes of the mother of his soon to be child. The mother needs to get a grip and go home. She's being childish and should know better than to intrude on you and your husband, especially at this time in your life. If he won't tell her it's time to go, then take a stand and tell her yourself, Nicely as possible, that you need your space to prepare for the baby. Things are going to get bad between you and your husband if she stays. Good luck, and good luck with the baby!
2006-12-28 10:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by jenny in ohio 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Poor baby. but congrads on the baby. i do understand what you mean. My husbands mom wanted to come stay with us when i was pregnant, i said i didn't mind but everyday after that I cried and told my husband two women can't stay together. He agreed. However, i'm the bad person now. Not to my husband but to his sisters who refuse to let their mom invade their space and privacy. my husband already knew his mom was a mess starter so as hard as it may have been for hime to say no..he did, which prvented our house from becoming a disarray. Your husband knows his mom better than anyone else. She shouldn't have had to move in because of roaches. I'm sure that ain't the first roach shes ever encountered. Get her place exterminated and ship her back overnight UPS. If you don't you'll relly be unhappy because she gonna try and tell you how to raise that baby, just like my mother in law does when she comes over, and thats not often. Good luck.
2006-12-28 10:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by toonice 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Buy two more pillows. I think that would solve the problem - drop the $20-$30 and you will get more piece of mind than having this little war with your mother-in-law. What you want is peace in the family and instead of fighting the situation try to work with your mother-in-law - I would think she must know she is a imposition on you and your husband. Maybe even take her to the store with you to buy the pillows - there is some logic to that argument about turning the other cheek you know.
Good Luck!!!
2006-12-28 10:01:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
he wants the women in his life to get on without any help from him and it must be uncomfortable for him to be in the middle but this is her doing and if you feel up to it you need to ask her if you and she can have a chat and tell her exactly what you think,,you are not a new girlfriend,,you are about to bring her grandchild into the world and unless you nip it in the bud now she will only feel she can interfere when the baby comes,,,most things people argue over are blown out of proportion because no one talks about it,,if you feel under pressure,say so,,if you feel stressed say so,,if she undermines you in your own house,,say so,,,,,,she has had her time as the woman of the house and now it is your turn,,your home,your husband,your child,your family.if you have reasons for things you have done and she cant see them point them out and remind her everything isnt about her,,you are niggly,you are stressed and you are pregnant and causing these problems isnt making it any easier.let her know if she has something to say about you,to say it to you so you can at least try to calm the situation,,that you are not an ogre and she can come to you ,,dont give her the ammo,,she may use it.
2006-12-28 10:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG! Girl im like in the same position as you.. I am engaged and my fiance mother is somewhat the same... but also he si stuck in the middle,but certain thinsg make it easy to have him mor e on ur side.. If i was you tell him how you feel and as u are his wife and has a baby on the way he needs to stand up more because u are his wife etc..if he truely loves ya he would.. i know its really hard trust me.. i feel ur pain.. oh u can also tell him u feel about him being in the middle,im ure hed respect ur honestly..good luck!
2006-12-28 10:04:00 · answer #7 · answered by Andrea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three weeks is plenty of time to get rid of roaches. Help her move back to her own house. Your husband is gonna have to stand up to his mom and let her know this is your home.
2006-12-28 09:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by dana j 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing that you can do! I don't mean to sound harsh, but I'm being honest. I have a mother-in-law from hell and there is no fixing that. I find that smiling and staying quiet is the best thing to do and I exercise that often. You are married and your husband's mother is a b*tch. Get over it and prepare for your child! That's something worth being excited about. Don't let her steal your joy. Kill her with kindness. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-28 10:01:03 · answer #9 · answered by TRUST_ME 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
i think you need your husband onside and get him to talk to her (rather than you and it being all about YOU not wanting her etc)
although he may feel 'torn' he is the key to sorting this out and his first loyalty ought to be to you and your new baby rather than his mother
as to you needing your own pillows - heck yes when you are becoming more obviously pregnant you WILL need more pillows
2006-12-28 09:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋