I have given him another chance but I can't forget what he did to me and keep bringing it up whenever we have an argument. Am I ready to move on? It's been 2 years.
2006-12-28 01:39:58 · 17 answers · asked by ponder2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know that this is a difficult situation for you. You want to forgive and forget and move on but the betrayal makes it hard for you to do this. Did you ever consider counseling with him? I would try it for awhile. If you still feel this way then I think you need to make a decision to move because you can't stay in a relationship with someone you harbor resentment with. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, it's perfectly normal.
Good luck.
2006-12-28 01:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the word forgive is going to happen. I guess what you might get is a understanding but affairs are just the tip of the iceberg in the relationship. What helped me to move forward was a homework assignment that each of us had to do. Prepare a time line of the relationship both the good and bad times and see how things progress. You need to be honest with yourself since it does take two to form a relationship. This will give you a road map on your time together and focus on issues vs blaming. It could also give you the tools needed to move on either by working on the marriage or to end it. Don't waste anymore time if either of you are not willing to be honest.
Good luck
2006-12-28 02:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have not truly forgiven him if you keep bringing it up. If you cannot get past it, then leave him. But if you have trust issues, you will only bring those same issues into another relationship. If I were you, I would work on forgiving him and trusting him. Not for him, but for you. Once you get to the point where you can forgive and trust him and if he betrays you again, then move on. Then you will know how to trust and forgive unconditionally. This will help you in subsequent relationships. And you never know, one day you might need someone to trust and forgive you. Do unto others...
2006-12-28 01:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can`t forget and keep bringing this up after 2 years ... then it`s time for you to move on, you`ll never get get over this. Try to stay friends with your husband if you can, sit down with him and just tell him how you feel and it`ll never go away. Life is too short to spent with someone you don`t really want to be with.
2006-12-28 01:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by Tatty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, I am honestly not sure that I could forgive this from him. I know that some people do but for me it just would not be possible.
If he came home late i would always be wondering where he had been and what he was doing?
If he was on the phone I would always wonder with whom is he talking?
Once this trust is broken Im not sure it is truely possible to ever get in back.
2006-12-28 01:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
at some point u need to move on and forget it, and keep arguments about what u are dealing with now, keep the past where it is, if he has come clean and shows remorse, and it hasn't happened again, at some point u need to let him off the hook, providing u want to stay married to him.
2006-12-28 06:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would NEVER forgive my spouse if she did that to me. I would have moved on the first time it happened. That's just uncool in my book. Start over fresh for the new year. :)
Peace
2006-12-28 01:43:54 · answer #7 · answered by Gasman 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
how about going into counseling?
it could uncover the reasons WHY he had an affair and then work on some strategies to help remedy that
also it could help tackle your own insecurities that this situation has raised
some marriages do recover after an affair - and you have been willing to at least try even if you have found it difficult so please do give yourself some credit
2006-12-28 01:46:23 · answer #8 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made a choice to try to keep your marriage. To recover from such a betrayal is hard, but to keep throwing into his face isn't right too. It is time you two should go see a marriage counselor.
2006-12-28 01:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will feel if you should forgive. Ask yourself, Are they respectful of you in general? Were they honest about it? Is it an isolated occurance or pattern? Will they do WHATEVER is necessary to get your trust back?
2006-12-28 01:47:19 · answer #10 · answered by sky 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋