I'm terrified of social contact and need some advice?

Question

i'm really a kind an accepting person,rarely judgemental unless someone is really getting on my nerves but i'm terrified of social contact-sometimes even with strangers-i feel inadequate and prefer to not engage in little contact,but a lot of times i manage to get over this silly fear but when i do i come out all fake and too trying to really connect-i do have close friends but i'd like to know how i can connect with more.

and if you're going to leave a mean note,get over yourself man go waste your time with something else

Answer 1

I've had social anxiety for years and yes it's very difficult to interact in the crowd. It takes me a long time to open up to people. Doctors say it's and unbalanced chemical in the brain that causes this and to take pills. don't do it. trust me. The thing that worked for me to make SA less difficult is to speak up no matter how hard. just keep your mind at ease and controle your breathing. Once you speak up, youd be suprised at peoples reactions. when i did, people started showing me more respect and I had pleny of people wanting to meet me and not the other way around. especially females because they like confident men. It is tough at 1st but it becomes almost natural after a while.

Answer 2

What you have to remember and remind yourself when you are with others is that each of us are in the same boat. That is to say, there are situations where we will find ourselves more or less comfortable, more or less confident or even moments which we are more or less feeling social. You need to give yourself a break and try to relax. I would venture to say that your feelings of being inadequate come from the fact that you get stressed in certain social situations and maybe you are too self-aware, fearing that someone may judge you harshly before getting to know you. You know, there may be some who will judge you harshly but there will be others who will not. You can't have the whole world loving you and why should you be concerned with everyone's opinion? You need to look around you at other people. What do you see? We come in different shapes and sizes, different personalities, different attitudes, etc. but are we not all the "same" even with the variations? To varying degrees, the same concerns and worries, wanting to be loved and liked for who we are. Also, every person has something special and different to offer, to be celebrated. Hold your head up high, because you are special and yet, you are similar to all of us! Try to focus on the "beauty" and "good" in people and situations, rather than focus on how others may see you.

So, the end result of what I am saying is that you will be able to connect with more people when you relax, accept yourself and like yourself for who you are.

Answer 3

It is never easy to make new friends. The first step may be some counseling. I used to feel that way and I did not know that it was tied to my depression, something I was diagnosed with 20 years ago but had not ever taken meds for. Since I have gotten on meds for the depression, my social anxiety really started to clear up. You should also really try to find people you have something in common with. If you are a believer, find a church, a small and welcoming one and start by getting to know a few people. Just be nice don't worry about "impressing" anyone just be careful to respect other people's feelings and do your best not to take yourself to seriously. Make it a point to learn to laugh at yourself.

Answer 4

You might have a condition called social anxiety disorder. Go to www.webmd.com and they can give you symptoms and I think possibly a little quiz to give you an idea of whether or not you should talk to a doctor about it.

On the other hand, you might just be shy. You could try to approach other people who seem shy, people who would sympathize with you.

In the end, though, you always have to be yourself. People can tell when you're faking confidence, as you said yourself. Just realize that you are every bit as legitimate a person as everyone else and that you have nothing to prove to anyone.

Good luck, buddy.

Answer 5

Partly it's just down to practice. The more you get out and talk to people, the more you'll get used to it. Difficult advice, I know, so it'll help if it's doing something you personally find interesting. If you can find a club or team that interests you, you can go along and you'll have something to talk about.

It's also down ot increasing your own self-esteem. You have no reason to feel inadequate. You are entitled to your own opinions and ideas, your own likes and dislikes, and you are inferior to no one. Try to trust yourself, follow your own ideas, dare to believe that you have something to offer. If people don't like that, it's their loss. This isn't rude or arrogant, it's just the truth. It's good that you aren't judgemental - you should expect the same from others! If they judge you for your beliefs or ideas or simply the way you act, that is their problem. *you* are not inadequate, and you don't have to change for people who think that you are. So try and relax - you don't have to listen to people who won't listen to you.

When you're talking to people, try asking them about themselves, listen carefully and don't be afraid to answer their questions honestly. You're bound to meet some interesting people, don't be afraid to think that they like you!

Good luck. I hope everything goes well for you.

Answer 6

If you want to withstand the kitchen heat, be in the kitchen, goes the saying. So if you are terrified of social contact, be at social gatherings often. Study human nature, discover their weakness that afterall everyone is not perfect. Read biography so that you acquire great men's consciousness. be friendly. the chat room can provide you many friends.

Answer 7

Trust me....social contact isn't all that it's cracked up to be. When I was younger, I wanted to meet people and engage in social contact. Then I actually met them.....now I'd prefer to be by myself.

Make yourself happy, and don't worry about what other's think. As long as your happy, everything is okay.

Answer 8

At first it may seem fake, but go ahead and pretend to be the person you want to be in socail gatherings. After a while you will be used to it to the point where it will no longer feel as if you are pretending or being fake.

Answer 9

You should force yourself to leave your "comfort zone".
Get uncomfortable. Meet new people. They are not judging you.
You are judging yourself with feelings of inadequacy.
In doing so, you rob very nice people of the opportunity to know and like you.

A day spent judging another is a painful day.
A day spent judging yourself is a painful day.

.

Answer 10

Take a few shots of Jack Daniels before social gatherings. It'll really loosen you up.