My brother has been fighting cancer for about 7 years now. My sister was diagnoised with throat cancer a month ago and then if that was not enough my others sisters husband after 39 years of marriage told her he want a divorce. My spirits are low and I know I need to help them through all of this but I am having a hard time dealing with it all myself....I have always been a strong person but I feel depressed about it and need suggestions on how to help them.
2006-12-28 01:05:11 · 6 answers · asked by Robin L 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have begun to experience grief, that is why it is difficult to you.
Cancer is a scary thing. Not just for those that get it, but everyone else. What these folks will need most is friends and family that don't bail on them. Most folks will scatter after a while because they don't want to face the spectre of death. Be a family member. A friend. Know that you need breaks because this is very stressful to you as well. Be gentle with them and with you.
Spend some time with them. Even just hanging out is good. Do stuff with them. Go to movies, to eat, to the park, whatever you and they like. Talk about anything that comes up.
I had a dear friend who died on me about 5 years ago. I spent most of his last week with him, playing music with him. Helping him to the bathroom. Being with him. That was good for him and for me also.
I send prayers and good thoughts your way.
2006-12-28 01:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
To help other people you have to help or take care of yourself first ,,,,To help other people regardless of who they are is always commendable but you have to consider just how far your efforts will carry ,,,,You are only one person and you can spread yourself too thin you know ,,,, You aren't a miricle worker and you can only do so much ,,,, You are letting all of this get you down which isn't good for you ,,,, You need to try diverting your mind to other interests for a certain period each day ,,,,, Forget about these things for a while ,,,, Give your mind a chance to clear and recharge and persue something else that interests you ,,,,, You can get too close to a problem and that could render you unable to help at all ,,,,, You can't be any good for any one else until you are good for yourself ,,,, Try to create a happy medium or balance where you can become more productive towards what you are trying to do ,,,,,As where your sisters divorce is concerned ,,,, there's nothing you can do about that ,,,, This guy isn't your husband and you can't live your sisters life for her ,,,, This is a problem that only she can deal with ,,,, All you can do is offer moral support and that's all so don't let this bother you ,,,, Right now you are over loaded and too close to your problems to see a workable solution ,,,,, Out side input or input from a third party not so deeply involved is always a help or is most of the time ,,,, This is a positive function of Yahoo Q&A ,,,, It gives people a chance to get outside input that may help ,,,, all you have to do is weed out the crack pots ,,,, Give this suggestion a try ,,,, it certainly couldn't hurt ,,,,, Good luck ,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,,
2006-12-28 10:44:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only way to help with the cancer problem is just make them feel comfortable. Maybe buy them flowers and tell them everything will be okay. About the divorce, talk to the husband and see why he wants a divorce. Try to remind him what a great wife he has. If that doesn't work, then he didn't deserve your sister anyways.
~.God Bless You and I will Pray For You.~
2006-12-28 09:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by JUDI 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Robin,
May I make a personal observation that might be a million miles off track?
You strike me as the type of person who is always making other peoples' problems her top priority. You are always worrying about other people; and you've finally reached the bottom of the barrel -- you're exhausted girl.
You need to back away and take some time for yourself. The world is not going to disintegrate and blow away if you're not there to hold it all together. Let go...
Stop making yourself sick about other people, and learn to let them take care of themselves for a change. They're adults too. Take some time off. Go to a nice day spa and treat yourself to a relaxing good time. Stop making others your priority and start being good to yourself. You need it. You deserve it. So what are you waiting for?
2006-12-28 09:13:52 · answer #4 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is very little you can do for them... except showing your love for them.
Most importantly... do not destroy your own life by being consumed with their problems. It might sound selfish... but it is not... You have your own life and you should live it to its fullest. What has happened to your family is unfortunate... but it is not your fault.
Also... I don't want to frighten you... but if I was you... I would have a check up every year from now on to try to detect any early sign of cancer. Better safe than sorry.
2006-12-28 09:19:37 · answer #5 · answered by Aussies-Online 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just be there for them...do what you can and most of all, try to keep yourself healthy....I'm sorry for all your troubles...my prayers are with all of you...good luck
2006-12-28 09:07:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋