He made sure he got his other kids something. The kids aren't mine nor do they live with us. He pays ove r$900 in child support money and always telling me he don't have any money. Should the child support hes paying be decreased because of the new baby? do you need a lawyer for that? The kids hate me because i married their dad.
2006-12-28 00:54:27 · 21 answers · asked by toonice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This matters to YOU. The infant isn't aware of Christmas, presents, or support issues. Your husband's support order shouldn't be lowered, because he decided to have another child. If he couldn't afford more children, he shouldn't have had more children. The children he already had require support, and their needs don't decrease because Dad chose to have more kids.
2006-12-28 01:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The way child support works is first come, first serve. Meaning, the first child(ren) born will always have priority over subsequent children.
In PA, the amount of the court order for child support is almost NEVER decreased. They call it earning potential - if the child support is based off the non-custodial parent earning 40K/year, and they take a job making 30K, they still have to pay the same amount, because they have the potential to make 40K.
Why would you want to take money away from his children? Isn't that a little selfish? And shouldn't the two of you be buying your child's gifts together? Is the 4 month old really going to care?
Maybe the kids hate you because you obviously resent them. And of course they're not going to be happy that their Dad is with you and not their mother, they're CHILDREN. Maybe you need to get your head out of you own a** and see the world around you, not the world that revolves around you.
2006-12-28 07:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't because the baby is only four months old and can't really use anything he buys anyway. Plus the baby won't even remember this Christmas. I think you just want something to argue with him about since the kids don't live with you, he pays over $900 in child support and has less to provide for you & the new baby, and that the kids hate that you're married to their dad.
You may need to check the child support payments in your city & state; check how much child support would be for one child or how much it'd be for how many kids he's paying for. If it goes beyond how much it is for state payments, you'll need a lawyer.
You just have to pick your battles more carefully or just speak what's on your mind; don't pick with your husband for something that is not the point - choose a subject and stick to it.
2006-12-28 01:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by Dimples 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A baby won't appreciate any gift at 4 months old........I'd say as long as he made sure to take care of you with a special gift, he is just another guy who takes care of his obligations. That is why you married him, because you knew he was one of the good ones!
Although his financial obligations may be a lot to handle, keep your relationship strong, work as a team, and that child support will mean little compared to what you two have together.
As far as the amount of support, In New York State it is determined by the number of children, 25% of his gross pay for 1-2 children, 17% for 3 or more. You may have a case for a reduction. Perhaps you can ask friends, it may be as simple as filling out a form and paying the filing fee.
His kids may or may not come around. There are plenty of worthwhile books on blended and step families at your local library. Reading these helped me to see I wasn't crazy and others are experiencing the same family difficulties.
Best of luck, it's a tough role but you can do it!
2006-12-28 01:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My marriage is also a joined one, and I do all the shopping for his children and mine and everything I buy is from both of us, not just me.
Child support is something that you will have to live with, he will pay this until all the other children are over 18. Most courts will NOT reduce child support due to the birth of a new baby, but if the child support is causing you financial hardship then you can request a review based on that reason.
How the other kids feel will change in time as long as you show them love as well and when they come to spend time with you all you treat them with respect and not resentment because they are from his first wife.
Joint families are very very hard. We have been together for over 10 years and still the kids are are major issue and main reason for any arguments we have.
It takes a lot of work but it can be done and if you truely love him, it is worth it.
God Bless
2006-12-28 01:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are several issues here. If you are struggling to bring up the baby then you do need to adjust child support but he is also responsible for his other children ans he must pay for them. I was in the same situation and my ex partner went on to have 2 other children so I did agree to drop the payments (only to save arguments). The baby is only 4 months so the baby will not know if he has bought a gift or not. I would see a lawyer a get a new child support agreement drawn up. All the children need to be supported but the father must not be left with no money to live on. With the kids hating you - do not try too hard with them and just give it time
2006-12-28 01:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Don't be mad. If he have to pay $900 for child support monthly, then he probably can't afford to buy gifts. But if he buy his other kids gifts, then the issue might be because he knows what the others want but don't know what the baby wants. Also, he might feel that a baby will not demand as much as his other children will.
2006-12-28 01:14:30 · answer #7 · answered by youngwoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is low. I pay 1000 a month and got all my kids gifts. Even my son who is 600 miles away got the same amount of gifts as the others. It sounds like your headed to divorce court, and not over this. I do not care if this makes you mad, but he is NOT a man. A Man takes care of ALL his kids, no matter what. If he pays that much child support, let him get another PT job. It sounds a lot like he married you to get a mother for his kids and nothing more. Good luck.
2006-12-28 01:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i cant give you any advice on the child support as im not a lawyer. But i would be angry that he buy your baby, his baby, a gift for Christmas.
The kids not liking you because you married their dad is a normal reaction from children. They feel like you have taken their dad away. In time this situation could get better.
I would confront him about how you feel that he didnt buy anything for his 4 month old baby.
2006-12-28 01:03:18 · answer #9 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well by law in my state, which is texas. The state has to give ur husband credit for the borned child. He might have to hire an attorney, and also depending on his wages, file a child support modification hearing. It will probably cost him money, but at the long run its going to save him. Ive been through the same thing, and im still fighting over my modifications.
2006-12-28 01:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋