i don't believe in abortions at all and she knows this, which is why she waited in telling me. i told her that i wasnt sure what to say and that was being honest, what do you say to someone that is suppose to be your best friend but they went and did something you dont believe is right, please help, i have no idea what to do and it really saddens me, i am 12 weeks pregnant now and when she told me my hand instantly went to my tummy and i just kept thinking how much i am grateful to have this child growing inside me, and she went and killed hers, i dont know what to do. any advice????
2006-12-28 00:48:21 · 23 answers · asked by puppy love 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It was her decision to make and if she is your best friend you should accept the fact that she was just not ready and terrified and maybe she thought that she would be a horrible mother. Where is the boyfriend? Is he even in her life at all this could be another reason. Don't make her out to be a horrible killer as you put it she probably feels like crap already about it. Don't think for a minute that it is not bothering her or eating her up inside. Did you ask why? Maybe it is something that you should ask before you just throw all this judgement on her head....It might clarify the real issues and help you to understand why she chose to do it.
2006-12-28 02:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by amanda b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive. I am pro-life and do not think abortions should be done under any situation. I counsel at a pregnancy help clinic and talk to women and young girls who either are desiring to have an abortion or already had one. Your friend needs you. She trusts you enough to tell you that she had an abortion, knowing it would sadden you. Down the road she may go through some emotional and spiritual things that are related to abortion- and then she will really need you to stand by her. Love her- she needs that in her life now. She already knows that you do not agree with her decision- show her even in the midst of that you care for her. When she is ready to talk to her, listen.
2006-12-28 09:57:37 · answer #2 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your friend already knows you don't believe in abortions. I feel the exact same way you do. If my friend were to admit to having an abortion I would be really upset. But my friend doesn't feel strongly against abortions as I do, which I'm assuming your friend doesn't either. You have to accept the fact that she is her own person and has the right to her own beliefs. At least she told you. That better than lying to you about it for the rest of your lives. Isn't it? It'll be okay.
2006-12-28 09:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by Wiccan~Momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
I know just how you feel. I am extremely pro-life. I feel there is absolutely no excuse for abortion. I had the exact same thing happen to you. I've been trying to conceive a child since august with my husband. A close friend told me in October that she had an abortion in August. I was floored! I was in shock. Something I had wanted so much, she decided to terminate. I was angry at her.
Then I realized just how bad she felt. People have abortions for many reasons. In my case, her boyfriend pressured her into doing so. She didn't want to, but did. Now she will have personal conflict for the rest of her life.
My advice to you is to be there for your friend. What is unreasonable to us, may be totally rational and reasonable to our closest friends. Your friend may have issues that you are unaware of. Try and look past this and help her through this lifelong struggle.
2006-12-28 08:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by ttcdayandnight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that you love your friend and that you care for her, even if she did something you don't approve of.
Abortion is one of the hardest choices a woman can ever make. Your friend probably has had to keep it secret from a lot of people besides you and I suspect she needs someone to talk to right now. Many things have influenced her decision - her concerns about where to earn enough money to feed and clothe a baby, her fears of raising a child alone, her fears of being shunned by her family and loved ones, and so much more.
The best thing you can do is to understand that what is done is done, and that your friend needs you right now.
The last thing you should do is let your feelings about abortion cause you to lecture or shun your friend. And don't talk to her about the abortion unless SHE brings it up - she'll talk when she's ready.
2006-12-28 08:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not pro-abortion, but I am not anti-abortion either. If you are really her friend, you will be supportive to her. You don't have to agree with what she did, but you shouldn't be any less of a friend either. I don't know what circumstances may have lead her to make that decision, but it was her decision to make, not yours. I hope you consider being the best friend you can be to her. I can assure you that no matter what her reason for doing it was...it was not easy on her and it won't be quickly erased from her mind. She will remember this for the rest of her life and I think that is enough punishment for her, don't you?
2006-12-28 09:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy of 2 Boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister had an abortion several years ago, and although I did not agree with it, it was her decision. It has not changed my feelings about her at all. She is still my sister, and I just think that everyone makes their own choices, and we should not judge them about it. Right now, she just needs your support, not judgment. Be a friend, she might regret it later, or she might not. I have three kids and I would not trade them for the world, but it's not to say that I didn't think about it for a few days with my first one, I was in college and it came at a very bad time, but I chose not to, and am happy about my decision, but my sister is happy about hers. Basically, it's to each her own.
2006-12-28 09:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by dnsnowden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what I'm getting ready 2 tell u ,u may not like but there is really nothing u can do now. it was her choice in the end but i think she should have came to you her best friend and you and her could have talk about and you could have talk her out of it but she didn't and now unfortunately she has to live the rest of her life knowing that she killed her child or another human being that had could have done something good for the whole wide world like found the cure for AID's(i was just giving an example)
2006-12-28 09:32:35 · answer #8 · answered by Poohbear 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is truly a "best friend" then you should support her in this. that does not mean you agree with her decision. There must have been some strong circumstances in her life that she chose this. I don't believe in abortion FOR ME...but that does not mean that it is not a better life choice for someone else.
Good Luck and Forgive if she is truly your friend.
2006-12-28 09:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother had the same thing happen to her when she was in her twenties. Her best friend had an abortion and after a while told my mother who does not believe in them at all. I asked my mom what she told her and she said " I love you, I may not love everything that you do. But I am your friend. "
2006-12-28 09:55:13 · answer #10 · answered by cargrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋