What do you do when everything goes wrong?

Question

Everything started on Christmas day really, firstly I was 'involved' with somebody on the internet, it was a really intense relationship and I was really happy with it. The fact he wasn't close to me physically didn't really bother me but yeah, he finished with me on Christmas day saying that 'He didnt want a relationship holding him back from studying' but thats just the first part. Later that night I took advantage of all the alcohol about the place and got out of control with it and ended up having an immense bust up with my family and lastly, my friends want nothing more to do with me as I tried to confront them about the fact I was feeling left out and they took it personally and now they are purposely trying to rub salt in the wound by making sure I know that they are doing just fine without me.

I have nothing/nobody to fall back on apart from alcohol and cigarettes.

Answer 1

Well, your friends shouldn't be assholes just cause you made a mistake. I'm sure they made mistakes as well. If you friend aren't there for you in times of need then you should move on to find better people, someone who will always be there for you and you know you can go to themwith anything.

Answer 2

IF this is a one time thing, then you can correct it easily, especially with your family. Apologise to them all, while sober. Explain to them that you were drunk and not really yourself.

If you have done this before and you have been turning to alcohol a lot, you may need some help. Ask your family to guide you towards some counseling. Or open the phone book and look up a substance abuse counselor. Give them a call. You can get some information over the phone and see what your options are.

At any rate, your life is not over. You've just reached a rough spot on the journey. Just know that alcohol or drugs won't fix the situation. You will get temporary relief but the problems will still be there.

IF you seek counseling, you will find you are not alone. Hang in there. Love will come 'round again. And if you have dealt with the problems, you will attract someone who will treat you right.

Answer 3

Bloody rough initiation into the school of hard knocks, wasn't it! Sometimes, life's best lessons are learned the hard way. When you run out of booze, then consider this: everybody can change. Even you. See, nobody's going to come to your rescue. You're going to have to do it yourself.
Get the to AA and get permanently off the booze. Then lose the freakin' ciggies - there's a number of helps out there for nicoteine addiction; look 'em uip. These are major hurdles that'll take a year or more.
Whilst you're getting rid of the toxins, learn to use cosmetics in the most appropriate manner. Spend some time learning to dress well: you figure that out, and you can find smashing outfits even in a thrift shop. Improve your education, both academically and practically: learn to cook gourmet meals.
Volunteer at a local animal shelter and see how good it feels to really help a creature totally dependent on the kindheartedness of people like you. Visit a disabled war veteran in the nearest veteran's retirement home and thank him or her for his/her service and sacrifice. You owe all you have or will ever hope to have to such people; let 'em know you appreciate it. Go down to your local soup kitchen and volunteer. And be a kind, considerate and helpful co-worker at your place of employment.
Know what? In the middle of all this, when you ain't even looking, you'll find true love. You'll wake up one morning beside him and wonder "When the h*ll did this happen?" and you'll go "Thank you, you old Mick, for your advice all those years ago!"

Answer 4

I think you are having a really bad day. You need to take a breather, and realize that life does not stop here. Guys do not have control over you. There are thousands of them to choose from. Don't let one mess up your life. Also, apologize to your friends, because if they are real friends then they will understand you were feeling bad, and probably was a little too hateful. If they don't then they were not friends anyway. As far as your family, let them you know you know what you did was wrong, and you are sorry. Family loves you no matter what. Do not suck up all the alcohol, because it is a depresser,and will only make you feel worse. How about taking a walk to clear your head, or going shopping. Good luck, honey, it will get better I promise. If all else fails, and what you should really try first, PRAY. That is what works best for me. Once you pray about it, things just seem to start coming together.

Answer 5

Sounds like you were wounded and you not only made the wounds deeper with the booze and cigarettes, then you decided to wound others that you cared about.
Lets be honest with your self. You werent left out! You choose to be left out because you had other intrest. That intrest was an intense relationship with a guy on the internet. When that failed you came back to the real world and not everyone was the same they had got on with their lives. By this I mean real young men they go out with and dont meet on the internet every evening at 7ish. On the internet everyone is a Ken and a Barbie. In the real world dont expect a ken if your no barbie your self .
My advice is to step away from the pc and go make amends to your family and friends and have a real life.
As my mother would tell me , " You made this mess now you need to clean it up !"
Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 6

First of all, I can agree on the cigarettes, but not the alcohol. Mend things with your family. Apoligize to whom ever you had a bust up with.
Your friends are just being jerks about this. If they are acting like that then they were never your friends to begin with. Talk to them and find out why they are acting that way. If you don't like their answer, get some new friends.
The guy, well there are many fish in the sea. Go out and find another one. Easier said than done, I know. But you have to start somewhere.
Please don't turn to alcohol whenever you are feeling down and out. You have the chat rooms to go and talk to someone if you are feeling lonely.

Answer 7

Hi Sophie,
Maybe you're looking at this all wrong...you may have left your friends "out" of things while you were couped up in the house in this online" relationship", they may be feeling a little payback is owed ,you are now able to rejoin them but they have moved along without you...its not to late to apologize and start being a friend again...as far at the other thing with the family...you more than likely were not angry with them like you thought you were...sometimes we lash out at the people closest to us when we are really angry with someone else...you were upset about getting dumped and because he wasn't around to listen to you...you decided to give it to the people that were. As far as this online "love" cash it all in as a learning experience there is no possible way that you can know someone online..they show you what they want to show you..if you had know this doofus a little better you would have had some warning at least. he's a jerk to say the least for dumping you on a special day like that but he probably didn't want to be tied up all the holidays with you..be glad its over and move on... alcohol and cigarettes will only make you more depressed and age your looks , youre punishing yourself not others when you harm yourself..they simply dont care.....dont let other peoples actions control your mood like this.. good luck

Answer 8

What do you do? You take a look at your part in it and get a grip. Yes, I guess there's a part of you that needs consoling, but OK: you had control over each and every one of these situations.

1. "Involved" on the Internet? OK; I understand that one to a degree- it's how I met and married my husband. But unless you meet them face to face, have some kind of tangible connection and communication (other than im, email, etc.) it's just fantasy land. Go for something real.

2. You took advantage of alcohol and got out of control. Take a walk, write in a journal, crank up the iPod; Drinking until you're stupid rarely solves anything and creates more problems that you can't solve.

3. OK; if you were your friends, would you want to be around you? Nah...didn't think so. They haven't abandoned you, they just don't think it's healthy for them to be around you.

I know this advice sounds harsh, but what I'm hearing in your post is "Poor, poor me!" and nothing about what you've done to snap yourself out of it. No one can change your attitude but you; until you do that, you'll continue to be lonely and self-destructive. Go to a counselor, get some help. Empower yourself and change your life.

Answer 9

Remember who you are, and remember where you came from. The person you are now has been fabricated due the tragic circumstances of your life. So what do you do? You pick yourself up, you dust yourself down, and you start all over again. You don't pick up the bottle cos if you do you will end up in another fabricated life, that of a hopeless alcoholic. Whatever are you going to tell your kids when you have them? Sorry kids but I am your example in life. I know I am a drunk but I had a tragic start in life. Come on girl, you let yourself get wrapped up with some guy on the Internet and you let it rule your life. Learn from this tragic mistake, don't get hooked again, and remember, your true friends will accept an apology, they won't accept a drunken pathetic whinging, It wasn't my fault. There is always sunshine after rain. Just want to add that there is a lot of really good advice coming your way via answers. You chose to ask our advice, Please take it, we are all thinking of you.

Answer 10

Whatever you do, forget the alcohol and ciggs..they won't soothe your pain. For the family rift, maybe you might want to analyze what happened and ask yourself why. Lastly, the internet thing, those are a dime a dozon so don't get hung up on that. You'll find someone else, I'm sure, just be patient and above all be choosy as to who you chat with there.

Answer 11

Umm , it just sounds like a part of growing up!
I don't know how old you are but I'm sure you will experience bigger problems than that later in life, you certainly will if you continue to drink alcohol.

OK here are a few probs that happened to me in the space of four months.
I was accused of a crime i did not do. subjected to many demeaning tests and spent three days in a cell , then released with only an apology

my mother died

I was also locked up in a prison for four days in Saudi Arabia and beaten , no food and no water, and thought i had been raped.
then released with an apology.

Amazing bad luck, makes you stronger