My daughter-in-law had my 29 year old son put in jail in Oct.His 14 year old brother gave me the money to bond him out after finding out she lied on him and said he hit her when he didnt.They are half brothers and he used his inheritance to bond him out.The 29 year old said he would pay him back every penny.Then he went back to his wife and he never payed him anything.Now she is mad because he was bonded out and we dont get to see the grandkids.There are 2 boys involved in the mess.From the time the 1st boy was born she has used him against me.She wanted me to buy him a big wooden swing set then a T.V. and so on it never stopped.He is 4 now and there is a 6 month old.I'm not close to him at all.I still miss the 4 year old but it is getting alot better.My question is should I try to involve myself in the grandkids life again or should I cut my lose and hope one day I can explain to them the way things was.Her family always seen them and took them places.We could only if we bought things
2006-12-27 22:57:47 · 10 answers · asked by sickened 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are using the kids as a pawn, your son included,see the grand kids when you can, but don't get caught up in there game. You will have to be careful and never say anything bad to the little ones about their parents, kids are not dumb and someday will figure out just what their parent did. Good luck, this kind of stuff is always a heart breaker. From one Granny to another,may God Bless.
2006-12-27 23:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't alright to cut your loses and stop seeing your grandchildren, they need you. Try talking to your son about the situation first. Although, if he really didn't hit her , she had him arrested, and he went back, he isn't a very strong man. In the United States, Grandparents have rights. You can make her let you see them. As for the money, you will probably have to write that off. At least you know never to do that again. There probably will be a next time. If she did it once out of spite she'll do it again. She sounds like a real piece of work and sadly your stuck with her. Good luck.
2006-12-28 07:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still keep an open line of communication with the grandchildren. Even a card on occasion, just to say "hi". It may take a few years for them to respond but it sounds like someone needs to be there for them when it gets really rough at home.
Be as involved as you can, and if you can't do small things to let them know you are thinking of them.
2006-12-28 08:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all as a grandparent, you do have rights. You can go through the legal system to fight to see these children. You have to realize that the both of these people were wrong in their own way. She for refusing you the right to see the children, and he for not standing up for his family and the rights of his children to see their grandparents. He may or may not have hit his wife, but he is certainly guilty of inconsideration, and selfishness by hurting family. If you cut yourself loose from the situation and hope one day the kids will listen, forget that, they will say why didnt you fight to see me? Didnt you love me enough to have the right to see me? Nope I would continue to work the system to have the right to see the children. Your grandchildren. Good luck.
2006-12-28 07:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sticky situation. If I were you I would sit my SON down and explain to him how I feel. I don't think your daughter-in-law sounds very reasonable to try to communicate with. Your son should try to help you sort out this mess. He should be looking out for you....his mother. And second.......he should pay back his younger brother or maybe next time he will be left sitting it out in jail...and if he stays with his wife it be probably happen again just as soon as she takes a fancy to it again....Considering she lied before to make it happen. Maybe some family counseling would help.
2006-12-28 07:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by Robin L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello =)
I would try and detach to as great a degree as possible....
She will always be their mother, first, and you their grandmother, second. This is a terrible situation to be in.
Do remember to send them both cards and gifts on their birthdays, and Christmas, but only do it through the mail, and don't send them money....she'll take it and never tell them.
When they are old enough to understand a little about their situation...maybe 14 or so, try to talk with them, somehow....Then, when they are old enough, they will come and visit you.
Namaste, and Happy New Year,
--Tom
2006-12-28 07:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get through to your son. Its his children as well. If she and he are back together and he is allowing her to decide if and when you see your grandchildren...then there is nothing you can do. I do believe that SOME states are passing laws regarding grandparents visitation rights. check with your state. Also SOMEONE needs to reimburse the 14 year old.
2006-12-28 07:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut yourself loose but with exceptions. That family has too many problems with parents that act like fools. Hope and pray the kids don't turn out like them and one day will really make something of themselves.
2006-12-28 07:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times people have to learn the hard way. It does appear you and the doner are the ones to learn the hard way on this one.
Do not be so sure he did not hit her. He went back and she took him back so think about it and keep out as much as you can.
2006-12-28 07:16:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the kids NEED you!
2006-12-28 07:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by kim j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋