my partner tries to control my behaviour by constant checking where I am. He also gets drunk sometimes and becomes aggresive with me and calls names. When he is sober he does not admit to any wrong doing and will never admit he has done anything wrong. He makes me feel like it is me with the problem, any body else in this situation. I am leaving him in new year. It is making me doubt my own mind at times.
2006-12-27 22:01:44 · 22 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has binge drinking problem and will not stop as he has tried.
2006-12-27 22:15:22 · update #1
Obviously, you are dating a LOSER! Run away as fast as you can, and never look back. The cycle of violence never stops. So don't wait for the New Year. Dump him ASAP!
2006-12-27 22:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by Asian Cutie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears your partner is experiencing co-dependency issues. More than likely caused by his inner fear of losing you. While this may seem crazy, it is possible.
Stillfurther, he probably know's he has treated you badly, yet cannot accept it within himself that he has done this to the woman he loves. He more than likely already believes you are going to leave, and it's creating a turmoil in his own emotions/thinking.
Depending on the extent of his drinking, you don't mention how much or how long he has been drinking himself into these drunken states, he could very well be an alcoholic and if that is the case that only brings forth additional bad behavior.
If this bad behavior takes place when he is drunk, he more than likely does not remember what he has done when he is sober.
and thus deny's having done anything wrong.
In anycase, the two of you should seek counseling, Him for his alcoholism/co-dependency issues, and you for having experienced what appears to be long term emotional abuse.
This relationship is salvagable but will require both parties to work very hard in counseling to overcome the problems..
2006-12-27 22:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also was in the same situation. Do you have children??? If you do, don't wait, leave now. It took me alot to leave him until my children saw the violence. If i could turn the clocks back I would not have let them go through it. It has harmed and scared them in ways that i can not describe. But for your own safety, if he is showing signs of violence, LEAVE HIM!!! You have the right to feel safe and not intimidated!!! Only you are in control of yourself and you should not let anyone else be in control of your life. He is only putting his insecurities on to you. You are NOT the problem.
2006-12-27 23:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by tiwrigh2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave as soon as possible and do some serious thinking about what and where you want this relationship to go. your BF needs some help with his drinking and it has to come from his own desire to seek help. you cannot do it for him. No one can change another person not even for love. Leave some literature about alcoholics anonymous and maybe even the names and telephone numbers of some rehab programs where he can get some help if he wants to. Leave it in an obvious place place for him to find when you leave him. His manipulative, controlling behavior is typical for an alcoholic. You might also consider getting counseling for yourself and perhaps even Al-Anon might be able to help you understand why you are a co-dependent and how to overcome it. Get out , socialize with friends and family but stay away from your BF, you deserve better.
2006-12-27 22:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by jesshispet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, when in doubt, get out!!!!! Anyone that makes you feel less than what you are doesn't deserve you. A partner is suppose to make you happy and vice versa. If you are not happy and he is showing signs of potential violence, then you are not hallucinating. Why stick around until the day he loses it? Get out now.
2006-12-27 22:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd leave the guy tonight!! Get out while you can! This guy isn't worth risking your life over, because he has some serious issues at hand!
Don't doubt yourself, on this one, though. By leaving him "now", you are saving your own life! Don't hesitate or think you're the crazy one! He's the one who will lose in the end. That's right, it's HIS loss, NOT yours.
Don't put your life on the line because you may think he'll change...they never do!
Get out of that situation TONIGHT/TODAY! Don't wait!
2006-12-27 22:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by argamedius 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get out now!!! You KNOW that this is the ONLY option if you want a happy life. Don't you dare be one of those weak, pathetic women, that think they deserve to be treated like dirt. NO!!! This is in NO WAY love girl....this is your lack of self-worth. Most women I know, have gone through this at one time or another...myself included. Save yourself the grief. Don't waste another second on this loser. PLEASE believe this. No truer words were ever spoken!!! Good luck, GET OUT and don't look back.....And stay strong!!! Peace!
2006-12-27 22:11:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A long time ago I was in a similar circumstance - and when I got out of the relationship (my head and heart had checked out months earlier) I wondered "why did I wait around and waste time with that loser"...
Don't wait - leave now!
2006-12-27 22:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless he wants to get help for his drinking problem you are doing the right thing by leaving him.
2006-12-27 22:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good thing is you have decided to leave. Dont doubt yourself this is what he wants you to do and believe me it will get worse.. be strong and get as much support from friends and family.
Best of luck
2006-12-27 22:06:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋