My friends only talk to me when they want something and of course I help them out. But now more than ever I notice it more often. They always need help doing their homework and stuff, all I would like to do is hang out or something, I keep feeling used by them. Now some of them arent asking for help they are telling me to help them, I just dont know what to do. Are they my friends, or just using me, or both?
2006-12-27 18:50:35 · 8 answers · asked by Andy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's possible that it's both. Maybe some of them figure that you're a smart guy & who better to ask than someone who can help them ? OR, they're simply just using you... :( I hope that's not the case... Have you been friends w/ them for a really long time ? Have they alwayz been like this ? Maybe they find that their friendship w/ you is getting a lil old or something :$ If they ONLY talk to you when they "need" your help, then how can you call them "friends" ? Friends don't use each other to only benefit themselves. Do you get anything in return ? Do they even thank you for your help ? As for them "telling" you to help them, maybe they're just used to you helping them that they're gonna think "Andrew will help me. He's a good friend." But also, on the other hand, how you allow others to treat you is how they're gonna treat you. This may also be the case. If you're the type to not say no & you allow them to get away w/ stuff like this... (you being passive) then maybe they think that it's ok to just "tell" you to help them... Maybe it's all a misunderstanding... They THINK that you don't mind... but really, you're just passive... Could this be what happened ? Whatever it is, I hope that you get this resolved... If you ARE passive, then you're just gonna have to put your foot down & ask them why they can't ask a teacher to help them or something. I found that the peeps @ work have tried to use me just cuz I'm the baby of the office (I'm only 27) but I just try not to do what they want by not answering or by suggesting that they ask someone else to help them. Actually, the last thing I said is what I WANTED to do... but I didn't answer. Try looking up "assertiveness" on the net. Find out how to become assertive if this is the case. Practice it. Good luck !!! :)
2006-12-27 19:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them how you feel. Seriously.
You should be able to talk to your friends that way.
Plus every group of friends contributes something, someone has a car, they get "used" for rides, or a place to crash, or cool stuff to borrow, or cd's burned, relationship advice, etc.
You should not be doing their homework, but it should make you feel good to help your friends with homework.
They could get help anywhere from anyone, but they chose you.
If you are hating being seen as the "smart" one, try something new for your image, throw a bangin' party or something.
2006-12-28 02:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by rockangel80 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
true friends wouldn't just call you when they needed help they call you to see how your doing and to hang out. Just tell them no you cant help them and lets see how long they continue to talk to you and if they dont then they were using you but if they continue to call even without you helping them or asking for help then there your friends just be aware of scandalous people that will do anything to use you.
2006-12-28 02:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, they probably are. Try this: when you know they have a free day, ask to hang with them without helping them with anything. If they say no or say "sure, later on can you help me with..." then yes, they are using you. Trust me, I know what it's like trying to be friends with people who don't really care about you.
2006-12-28 02:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by David H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The quickest way to find out is to set boundries on your relationships with them and don't be bullied into helping them when you don't feel like it. If they are still your friends after that, it is a real friendship, if not, they are just using you.
2006-12-28 03:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NOOOO their not!!!!!!! I have been used cuz i live in the uae but I'm actually American .So the story is that one of my so-called-friend used me for my English accent!!!! Can you believe it. Don't be friends with selfish people like these.
2006-12-28 03:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're feeling that way then you most likely are being used.
2006-12-28 02:59:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THEY SUCK!!!! THROW THEM AWAY! THEY R USEING U! MY FRIENDS KINDA DID THAT TO. so ya just say no. and see wat happens..
2006-12-28 02:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by Josh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋