confused about my future?

Question

I'm an 18 year old guy in new york. going into my second semester of college. at my point in life, I know that I'm gay but afraid to come out. my older brother is gay so it's much harder for me to come out. on top of that I have no idea what I want to study that will set my life career. I'm majoring in psychology right now but not sure if it's for me. the irony is that psychology sounds like it could help me a lot. I just don't know what to do anymore. everyday it keeps building up and i know eventually i will have to let people know about my true self and I know my life would be better if I did but it's the leap over the gate that i'm afraid of. please if you have any suggestions let me know. I can't take it anymore. thanks

Answer 1

My friend, I understand ur feelings but if I were you I wouldn't come out as gay but I'd come out as a servant of God. Don't get me wrong I know how hard it is for you to fight this gay spirit who wants to destroy your life and ur career. The only way you can win your battle is to fight with your knees which means to pray that's how i won my battle.

Answer 2

Before even thinking of your career, resolve your personal problem first. Talk to your brother how he handled it and eventually open up to him. I just hope he is responsible enough to advise you on these things. It does'nt mean if you open up you do all the usual "gay" things. When I opened up to my brother and sister I remained basically the same. I wore the same clothes, had great time with my straight friends who were supportive and felt more free.

As for your career, it really depends on your interest and sometimes health. If you have some ailments, get a job that is less stressful. If you are a person who can easily get along with different people than get a supervisory job or in human resources. You are still young. You have enough time to think about it.

Answer 3

!8 years old--difficult to understand now, but you've got like NO problems. I know it doesn't feel that way and I don't mean to dismiss the brevity of your feelings. One step at a time. You don't HAVE to come out at all. When people ask me if I'm gay, I ask them why are they thinking of my genitals? Why are they interested in what I do with my private life? It's only between you and yourself, and a best friend or boyfriend. Be honest with yourself, don't do anything that feels not right for you, you have the right to change your mind at any time. Take everything SLOWLY--a real challenge for New Yorkers!!! I love New Yorkers! Go to a gay group on campus and see how it feels. Remember you are who you are for reasons that you can investigate for the rest of your life. Always be gentle and kind to yourself and avoid harsh judgement. Weight training is a great way to meet people and to work off frustrations and pent up feelings. Take courses in college that you want to take, you don't have to decide to be "anything" ever, a work in progress. Be good to yourself, have fun, avoid mean people. Your private life is just that "private". You're probabaly cute as hell and don't realize how many men your age would like to spend time with you, ask someone you like to go the movies with you, or take a walk. Whether you talk or not, and what you talk about or don't, isn't important. Learn to take long slow deep breaths, relaxing your body from your toes up each night as you're going to sleep. Those deep breaths will become relaxing to you at any time of the day. Good luck, I wish I were there to tell you how perfect and beautiful you are. Take care, mate, CeT

Answer 4

Ok first of all this ur life ok? u want to be successful! if u dont feel that what u majored for is right for u then u need to change it or something! second of all if ur gay ur gay ! u cant hide it forever, just sit donw with someone thats close to u or someone u know will be there for you and tell them! no they may not approve of it but they will have 2 b/c its the way u r and they will love u for you! just be calm relax and do whats right for you ok? if u ever need a friend to talk to u when ever ur down or just need a friend talk to me i always listen. add me if u have yahoo im dancegirl4u2c. Relax it will be fine.

Answer 5

You have taken the first step in admitting it to yourself. So many people wont let themselves get to that point. It sounds like their is a little tension between family maybe?
How did your family react to your brothers coming out? Why is his experience influencing your actions? Is there tension between the two of you?

Also consider going to an LGBTQ group (there is probably a group meeting on campus at your school) you dont have to say anything if you dont want to. Just put yourself into the kind of environment where you have a support system.

things are going to work out.

Answer 6

Whenever you're ready, then that will be the right time to come out, don't force it upon yourself that creates more stress, which causes anxiety, lack of worth, breakdowns, etc. If you're having doubts with your major well try something else, right now your stressed and that can interfere with alot of things in life. So, whatever you're comfortable with is for you.

Answer 7

A psychologist or support group might be able to help. I'm sure they have resources. You might also see if your college has a Queer Student Union, Diverse Sexual Orientation collective experience, or other support group for LGBT.

As for your job, take classes in other fields if possible.

Answer 8

change your major to sociology.

you'll be happier!