i'm trying to change a lot of things in my life i just had a baby 3 1/2 weeks ago and divorced since i became a mom it became all about the kids and not about mysel i would like to get some ideas of ways to focus more on my self and kids any ideas????
2006-12-27 17:58:19 · 18 answers · asked by Robin t 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well, Its great to love your kids, but you also need to remember what it was like to love and care for yourself.I know its easy to say but much harder to do. especially being a mom of such a young child.
The best thing to do for you and your kid is to build patterns.Patterns that you wont keep forever but ones that are needed while your child is so young.
They need consistency, and you need a break but time to have it.
So, the best thing to do is "have all your ducks in a row" as people say.
Make at least one night a week for you to do your own thing.Find a dependable relative or friend you can trust with your child and go out and be you.By having this time to yourself it will make you more content and make you a more patient mom.Also in most all cases a parent who shows their kid that they have a life besides them as the kid grows up,that kid has a less chance of being too needy and will learn respect for you as an individual much easier than alot of kids with overbearing parents will.
Trust me, me and my wife didn't do it early enough and it was crazy trying to leave them with anyone for anything till we decided enough was enough and undid what we created.She is * now and is respectful of us and others and don't have a spoiled over needy bone in her body.Thank god!
2006-12-27 18:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, You just had the baby. Give yourself a little time before you try to change anything. Your life and body are still very hormonal. Ask again in about 6 months or so. Focus isn't easy especially when you have feedings and children to keep track of. Being divorced with a new baby must be incredibly hard. My baby was about 8-10 when I divorced. I had 3 to raise alone whether he was there or not. Just relax awhile before you get too stressed.
I wish you alot of joy and luck.
2006-12-27 18:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mudder/ Gi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having Children Change Many Thing's In Peoples Lives.... That's Why You Must Be Sure Your Ready For That Step! You Just Have To Sort Through Thing's And Figure Out Where To Put Your Child First And Where To Put Your Self First!
2006-12-27 18:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by Dark Prince 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I choose I made more beneficial judgements interior the previous. If that were to take position, i does not have a detrimental selection in acquaintances, i'd be in a significantly better academic instiute, i'd be somewhat extra financially reliable, and that i'd nonetheless be with my ex female friend. Too undesirable all that's unbelievable.
2016-12-01 06:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly - congrats on becoming a mom. Secondly - hats off to you for taking such a brave decision. Get help in terms of looking after the little one, someone who will bathe her, put her to sleep (babies can sleep upto 22 hours) so at least you can freshen up, relax a while... this is a tough phase for you and baby - but you will see how fast time flies. Being with the baby whole day without rest is too much - so catch your sleep when baby sleeps, pls dont try to finish incomplete work. You need to be rested well too. Take care and eat well .. God bless you !
2006-12-27 18:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by aurora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a wealth of well meant advices from your country(wo)men... I find much substance in many replies... they may help you... but I am sorry that many of you (young mothers are single by choice or by accident)... in my country the couple are closest during the pregnancy and delivery - by and large - and forget even serous differences... The scene is slowly changing here also - particulary in the urban areas - with divorce culture entering the lives of many...
The finest feeling of true love (unconditional and selfless caring) is lacking in this age everywhere and selfishness-ego complex is ruining all the finer sides of human life... OK.. Be more careful as and when you again decide to choose a partner.... till then may your life with the kids be happy....
2006-12-27 18:46:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you!! There are a lot of good support groups online and many of them can help you get through this, like for example, everydaywomeneverywhere.org where most of our members would be more than happy to give what help they can in one of the threads we have there. You didn't mention if you had more than one child really so I supect you do - kids - so there may be things you can do together as a family which the kids will enjoy and give you enjoyment as well. Good Luck!!
2006-12-27 18:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go back to the things you did before you had kids and were married. What are your interests? What do you like to do? Indulge in those things, also make sure you take time for yourself each day. It may be only 30-45 minutes, but relax - read a book, take a bath, anything to avoid burnout.
2006-12-27 18:00:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow - you have a full plate right now. Be a great mom and give yourself some space....find some of your friends who can help baby sit so you can just be alone for a couple of hours for now.
When the time is right, go to school. Also figure out why you were attracted to that loser. If you dont figure that out, most likely youll find another one just like him.
2006-12-27 18:04:50 · answer #9 · answered by rokdude5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now is the moment that your relatives should help you.You should be with people who love you and your baby.Don't think about your divorce too much....the past is past.Try to get a good job.Go to some course-cooking,computers,dancing or something you like.Think about the future-ask yourself what exactly you and your baby need.Good luck!
2006-12-27 18:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋