i have had really bad relationships, every time i'm with someone they always end up cheating on me... and i'm not even ugly... i live with my b'f and he also cheated on me before we moved together. i still don't trust him every time i try to get close to him i still end up feeling lonely... is there something wrong with me?
2006-12-27 17:41:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I always say; you don't know what you got till you loose it. He will regret loosing you and if you are willing to forgive him; make him suffer. But remember, there's not going to be trust between you any more, so why bother? No matter how sincere his apologies are...run! I do agree that once may be a simple mistake, but that is his mistake to pay for forever. Do not take him back, there are other mistakes to be made, you are worth more than a cheater. Don't continue a relationship that will lack trust, he may or may not ever cheat, but why should you have to pay for his mistakes by spending every day wondering?
Handle a cheating boyfriend by following these steps.
STEP 1: Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
STEP 2: Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
STEP 3: Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
STEP 4: Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
STEP 5: Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
STEP 6: If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
STEP 7: Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
STEP 8: Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
STEP 9: Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
STEP 10: Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.
No matter how hard it is, you just have to keep going. As long as there are people there to help you and listen to your moaning and crying at all hours, then some how there will be a way to carry on. It is such a hard thing to do - but show him how strong you are.
If your boyfriend cheated on you, dump him. If a person that you trusted so much does this horrible betrayal, leave. Pour your heart out in a diary, at a best friend or something. Let your heart heal.
2006-12-27 17:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by Bombshell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are things wrong with the men you date. Why would you move in with him after he cheated? Did he promise to change? It's a slippery slope... you know the old adage "leopards don't change their spots"...
I recommend getting out and taking some time off of men. You will be happier when you figure out what you want in life. I don't think you will ever get it from him. I have no idea how you will ever be able to trust him. Maybe if you spend several months away from him you can re-evaluate the relationship, but I think it's lost.
2006-12-28 01:46:31 · answer #2 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move out and to get help with your self esteem. You don't trust him because he broke trust with you. You likely feel lonely because you don't love him, don't trust him and are still angry with him for cheating. Moving in was a mistake and I think you know it.
Your looks have nothing to do with his cheating. Men don't cheat because their girlfriends are ugly, they cheat because they need conquests an have low self esteem and lack respect for their relationship and their mate.
If he doesn't understand how you feel about the cheating and your subsequent feelings, it just reinterates for you his selfishness and lack of remorse. Again, get out of the relationship and move on with your life. You deserve to be treated better and to make better choices. I am certain you will be happier.
2006-12-28 01:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by Lina H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothign wtrogn with you for feeling this way.....
You have given so much of yourself, and so much of your love to people that you really cared about..only to have it thrown back in your face.
You obviously are a really good person and girlfriend...all you want is attention..unfortunately us girls all go for guys who are mean to us for some reason.
I would say breakup with your bf and wait awhile and wait for a good one to come along (and he will)...but I dont wanna be like all those other annoyign yahoo people, that when your tryign to get some relationship advice they say "BREAK UP WITH HIM!!' Consider the circumstances of the cheating..(not that thres any excuse) but has your relationship grown since then?? Are things stronger than they were?? whatever you feel inside about your relationship is the truth. Try and talk to your bf about this.
2006-12-28 01:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, that should not be the right attitude... ur previous bfs leaving or cheating on you shoul;d not be the reason for oyu not to trust your present one. Not all men are the same, remember that... but when u feel ut not going the right way, better end up ur relationship... and don't be in a hurry looking for Mr. Right, he'll come over, u don't have to look for one. JUST WAIT.
2006-12-28 01:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by yang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is. If you think looks is what keeps a guy, than your wrong.
First off, if he cheats on you, you leave. Period. there is already trust missing. And respect on top of that.
If you feel lonely without a boyfriend, than you need to fix that first. Be happy with yourself, than find a partner.
2006-12-28 01:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by nr91326 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but, it is not meant to be. If you don't feel anything with him...then what part of a good relationship is that for you? Plus he cheated on you before...my motto, "Once a cheater...always a cheater!" You deserve a relationship where you BOTH are happy!
2006-12-28 01:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating get rid him or move out . remember not all guys cheat.
take a time out from relationships .. the next time you find a guy
that you like or are interested in take your time get to know him..
if this one is cheating,not listoning to you and you hate him, get out of that relationship..life is short enjoy your life don't let some one
take joy from you.. more fish in the sea...
2006-12-28 01:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by chan72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey there is NOTHING wrong with u. ive seen this SO many times. the problem is that u keep going for the same type of guy...ultimately. they probably dont act exactly the same..but all they really want is...well..u know. my advise is to go and find someone that u normally wouldnt go for. maybe a good guy friend. take him out for drinks. have fun. maybe ull find out that uve been with the wrong guys all along!
2006-12-28 01:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by Traci Alise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hai
Dont feel bad or lonely.Dont loose hope.Have a talk with ur BF.There is nothing worng with you..Feel hey ar not worth having your relationship.Cheer Up Girl.
2006-12-28 01:57:18 · answer #10 · answered by s s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋