my husband just started truck driving, i need some help!?

Question

well, he started driving about 4 months ago, he's gone four out of seven days of the week. when he's home on the weekends, he dosent even act like i'm here. he gives me no attention, no kisses, no hugs, nothing. he wont even look at me anymore. he used to never be like this. he's changed so much since he started driving. i know he's not cheating on me, he's just changed so much since he started driving. any other trucker wives out there that have gone through this? what can i do to get him out of this funk and make him notice me? please help! i want my hubby back!

oh yeah, he teams with my brother, so my brother would tell me if he's cheating or not. they get along very well, and enjoy being on the road with each other, they have lots of fun. mabye he enjoys my brothers company more than mine? i'm sorry, i dont get into the "fat momma" jokes, and i dont like farting and having him smell it like they do all week.....let me think....i'll give you an example......one night, i picked him up from work, and we went to wendys. he was still in a good mood, cracking jokes, being silly and stuff like he does with my brother. well, when we pulled up to the window, there was an attractive young girl standing there waiting to take his money. after he handed her the money, and she closed the window, she dropped some change and he said "yeah, bend over" taking like beavis and butthead like him and my brother do all week. well, this kind of upset me, and i told him to have more respect for me. anyway, from that moment on, the whole weekend, he was silent. and

and, its like once he figures out that i'm not my brother, and i dont like that kind of humor, he stays silent and wont talk to me or show me any attention. then, when its time for him to go back out on the road, and him and my brother are putting thier bags on the truck, he automatically gets all happy and funny again. i dont know why he does this, i mean, most of the time, i go along with the trucker humor, but its like, i dunno........

Answer 1

Make date nights when he is home. Before he leaves put a note into his bag and have it say..

..you are invited to a GRAND dinner for 2 on so and so night at so and so time..

make it for when he gets home from work. If he comes home from a long few days then have him a shower (or bath if he likes them) all ready for him and set out a outfit and a towel for him. When he walks in the door give him a kiss and tell him to go take a shower and relax why you finish dinner. Then serve dinner with some wine. After maybe watch a movie that you know he will like. Then let the night just .... well happen!

I do stuff like this all the time for my husbabd, if I feel like we are drifting I do a date night and he always tells me after the nights over that it was just what he needed. And things are great after that. They really do work! And since you are "inviting him" he has to come :)

Answer 2

Your husband is under a lot of stress, and probably not making the money he thought he would, I know, I'm a driver. But at least he gets home 3 days a week. I was gone for up to 5 weeks at a time. The job, however, is not the problem. When I get home, I'm all over my wife. Something else is going on there and I suggest getting him into marriage counseling if he won't talk to you, if that doesn't work.....better get a lawyer, start putting some money back for yourself, and prepare for a divorce.

Answer 3

Having been a over the road driver I can tell you matter of factual the temptations are definitely out there and being gone weeks on end only worsens the temptations.

I recommend wait until he comes by the house with his truck and you sneak out there with a good size straight pin and discreetly push it into his CB coax (the black wire going to the CB antennae) and leave it in the coax. Doing this will cause a short when he tries to use his CB and ruin his way to "chat with the ladies".

Call his dispatcher and ask where the hell your hubby is and why isn't he getting home? They will usually pass along wives worries to the driver and MAYBE once your hubby knows you're on to him he'll need to worry about a divorce lawyer.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I use to be a truck driver wife and I know all about this. I know that the drivers are under a lot of pressure trying to deliver their loads. So what I did is I ask my husband if there was any thing I could do for him to make him feel better toward me and he said he would like a massage and I gave hime one. If you dont feel like he is cheating then just ask him what is the problem. But let me say this be prepared for the answer that he gives you. You might be surprised at what he tells you. I hope everything is ok.

Answer 5

What your explaining is what my girlfriend and I call GUY MODE. We are both trucker wives. You either learn to lighten up and roll with it or you get out. I know that may sound mean. When he was talking and you said have more respect for me...it had nothing to do with you. He was trying to be funny. You sounded like a killjoy to him. Their life on the road is different from home so what if it isn't the same humor as your used to? Do you love him enough to accept him for him? Does your brother do the same thing when he get home? Just lighten up. If I had come home after delivering FEMA trailers to how you explained you acted, I would of ignored my husband too. Find a hobby, get a job, volunteer, whatever. It will make you feel better.

Answer 6

Being a truck driver is a lonely life. He is alone almost all of the time and therefore he is use to being alone. It's not that he loves you any less, he just probably has a hard time copeing with being in someones company again.

My husband tried trucking briefly. It was not for him! He absolutely hated being alone all of the time. Find out if your husband is miserable at his job. If so, then maybe it is time for him to find a local driving job or just find something else that he could do that keeps him close to his family.

Answer 7

We all learn tools for living and dealing with situations in our lives, unfortunately these are not always good tools. Due to the type of work your husband is doing he is isolated and constantly stressed. It is possible when he gets home all he wants to do is relax and enjoy his home, unfortunately when you've been isolated for periods of time dealing with people is stressful.
Make sure you use the time he is gone to take care of the day to day business of running the household. Remove as many stresses as you can during the time you are both at home. Give him time to himself but do not allow it to be overlong, you both have to maintain a relationship.
It is not easy, you will need to work to make things happen. Do not forget to take care of yourself, use your time wisely (take a relaxing bath or do something you find enjoyable when he has his time).

Answer 8

he just tired. do u work? it makes a big different. my husband is a truck driver for 5 years now. I used to stay home with my kids, we always had problems. But now i go back to work, and he call me a few times everyday to talk. So sit down and talk to him, maybe there something that's bothering him when he gets home. Good luck

Answer 9

It's hard to be on the road because there is constant stress. And when you come home you just want to sit in a state of nothingness. Have you tried talking to him? Asking him why the change and what you can do? Perhaps try and make a compromise with him for some time to himself and time with you.

Answer 10

i helped my ex-husband study for the test and was there all the way for him,when he started driving he would blow the money on drugs and whores that frequent the truck stops,and i didn;t find about it till i started investigating and questioning his riding partners,and i would call the company he worked for.when i had to send him money to bail him out of jail,that was it for me.