OK WELL HERES THE PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW I AM ENGAGED TO A VERY BEAUTIFULL WOMAN. I LOVE HER TO DEATH, WE ARE DUE TO GET MARRIED WHEN IM HOME ON R&R. WELL MY FIRST LOVE HAS CAME BACK INTO MY LIFE TELLING ME SHE DOESNT THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA TO GET MARRIED THIS SOON. IM 22 AND MY FIANCE IS 20. I DONT THINK THATS A BIG DEAL, ANYWAYS MY FIRST LOVE IS LIKE THE ONE IVE WAITED FOR, FOR ALOONG TIME. BUT SHE CAUSED TROUBLES IN PAST. MY HEART IS TELLING ME TO GO BACK TO MY FIRST, BUT MY HEAD IS TELLING ME TO STAY PUT. WHAT DO I DO? DO I LISTEN TO MY HEART OR MY HEAD?
PLEASE HELP THIS SOLDIER OUT1
2006-12-27 17:25:23 · 10 answers · asked by jfields2302 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I want to say you're awesome and keep up the good work! About the girl situation, I really don't know what you should do but I do know you should go with your head over your heart in most general situations. Good luck, dude.
2006-12-27 17:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by waltzorro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at 22 I feel that this is too young. I got married at 29 and it was still too young. I am now 36 and divorced. it takes so long to know what you want from someone and so much longer to know yourself to be able to give yourself to someone. I know that being in the military is hard and it's nice to have someone to come home too. but I've seen so many of my friends do the same thing that you are doing, get married and a few years later things change once you're out of the military and divorce is how it ends. why rush?
as far as the EX goes, this is what I say EX's are ex's for a reason. people don't change, so why take a chance. if you are happy with your fiance then stay there. besides you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with her. so you can do a few things.
become single so you can date her with an open mind or tell her to keep on moving down the road.
I have an ex boyfriend that I am better friends now than we ever were when we were together!! and that is over 10 years now. we will always have a spot in our hearts for our first love, but when they become an ex they should stay that way!!
2006-12-27 17:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by cattledog_vinnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all thank you for all you are doing over there - I know that you are making sacrifices so people like me can sit and answer questions in peace at night!
I don't think 22 is 'too young' to get married, but it is not that old, either. You still have a lot of growing and changing to do, and in the situation you are in right now, it is going to be difficult to make a good decision. I know that you need the support a marriage would bring, but is that a valid reason for getting married? You will not always need the support, but you will still be...married. If you are even asking about your first love, PLEASE do not marry the one you are engaged to now. You are obviously having second thoughts. Marriage is a serious thing, and you simply should not enter into it if you are not completely sure you want to do it.
2006-12-27 18:01:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Homeboy...sit down and slow down...breath. U have time to decide use ur head and ur heart together...put everything on hold and just wait until u are struck with inspiration. In my opinion if u r considering getting back with ur first love then ur not really ready to marry girl 2 for the real reason ppl get married for. U must consider urself and the companion u want longterm so that u don't get divorced from #1 or 2 anytime soon!
Now answer my question my boyfriend is in the military and we haven't met yet not until this coming june, what do u think makes a great girlfriend to a guy overseas?
2006-12-27 17:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm in the army as well and I'm telling you its not a good idea to get married on R&R, you should know why. I know their is a big money difference but that shouldn't be your target. While you are over their you will be spending a lot of time by yourself and others and so will your fiance, I don't know your fiance, but the mistake we make is believing in people so much that it turns out into a big heart ache. My point is you will change and grow and so will she, you both should wait, I know you need the support while you are over thier but you should wait she will be their married or not. This distance destroy marraiges so just wait you are young, and as far as your first love, she should butt out, you shouldn't even be associating with her like that. I don't understand why you are so confused maybe it because you are young and don't know what you want, so now their is so much more reason to wait. You first love is wrong for telling you she don't want you to get married and you are so wrong associating with her behind your fiance's back. Please take your time!
2006-12-27 17:40:31 · answer #5 · answered by Smile 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, keep up the good work and l wish you a safe and speedy return. Secondly : you must remember that ex is your ex for a reason. It is really not up to her what you do with your life anymore. That's up to your fiance and yourself. Your first love caused you problems in your past. What makes you think she would be any different in your future ? Honestly if l was you l would definately go with your head. Trust me it sounds like it's a lot smarter than your heart at the moment.Think about it, you have a beautiful fiance that loves you and l'm sure you know you can trust, why would you throw that away for someone who has caused you grief in the past ?? Hope this has helped. Good luck to you for a happy future.
2006-12-27 18:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should get married when you go home on R& R. It wouldn't be fair to your fiance, especially since you are even considering getting back with your first love, This "second" love must have something that it is missing. I think that you need some time alone. 22 isn't that young--if you are truly in love with the person. Both your heart and head should be on the same playing field when it comes to TRUE LOVE.
2006-12-27 17:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by BookLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your first love is your ex for a reason and remember that! Don't fall back in a past relationship especially if she caused problems. And maybe you should think about marring your fiancee? I mean if you are unsure of who to be with maybe you don't love your fiancee as much as you think or you wouldn't question the whole thing on where you stand. When it comes to love there is no questions on who, if you are in love it is a matter of fact and no doubts!
2006-12-27 17:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lopez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Command discretion. if the CO can not spare him then he won't be coming back. considering the fact that all legal matters at as quickly as concerning to a deployed SM are placed on carry until his return, then there is no reason in the back of him to be sent back. legal matters that are actually not at as quickly as on the subject count of him..are of no interest to the militia.
2016-11-24 19:20:29 · answer #9 · answered by cronkhite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF I WAS YOU I WOULD WAIT TO GET MARRIED.SOMETHING SIMILAR HAPPEN TO ME MY FIRST LOVE IM MARRIED TO HIM NOW BUT I HAD ANOTHER PERSON THAT I ALSO LOVED VERY MUCH THEY BOTH PROPOSSED TO ME LIKE A WEEK APART IMAGINE HOW I FELT I WAS WAITING FOR THE SECOND GUY TO PROPPOSED TO ME SINCE FOREVER WHEN HE FINALLY DID I HAD ACCEPTED MY FIRST LOVE SO I MARRIED MY FIRST LOVE BUT 5 YEARS HAD PASS AND I STILL THINK ABOUT MY SECOND LOVE IS TO LATE NOW SO BEFORE YOU MAKE A MOVE THINK RELLY GOOD ABOUT YOUR DECISION.GOOD LUCK
2006-12-27 17:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋