One of my closest friends commited suicide...?

Question

My friend that I grew up with shot himself a couple of weeks ago. No one knows why...but he wanted it more than anything it seems. It has only recently began to sink in. The holiday spirt isn't that happy or merry. Knowing that he won't open any presents or the thought that he won't eat saurkrat on new years with me sucks.
I remember the night that I found out, what a horrible time. That whole day was perfect, and hearing that killed me inside. I know how it happened, the details aren't important though. The rumors at school are becoming outrageous, stupid for that matter. There is nothing that I can do becuase no one knows how they started.
I am not looking for simpathy or an answer for this question. I just need to tell the world what happened and maybe prevent others from the same fate.
No one will really know how much this has changed my like, and the way that I look at life for that matter. I just want every one to know that it isn't the way out.
Some advice would be nice!

Already reading answers have helped me understand and releave some feelings. With every minute that passes I am thinking about how I can change the actions of someone at our school. There is nothing that I can do now because he did it. But maybe just saying hi to someone, like an outcast, can save their life. Being there when no one else is, can mean the difference between life and death for them. You just have to take the time to see them for who they really are, and not for the materialist perosn that we see. I have heard this through teachers and through some of the answers, so with this is am going to help. I want to make sure that this doesn't happen in my lifetime again. Thanks so far and keep giving the answers.

Answer 1

this is not really an answer but thanks for the advice not only from you but from everyone you answered your question.see i attempted suicide not 2 weeks ago.i thought(and still think,no i know)that no one cared about me. i still what to leave this living nightmare,i cant stand it...but thanks.

Answer 2

That's why people should be more tuned into others in their lives. There are those that are crying out for help in various ways, but we must be open to picking up on these clues and take the matter seriously before it's too late. Never dismiss someone's sudden or prolonged sadness, bout with depression or melancholy as a joke or a phase. It could mean life or death for them inside and no one would ever know it. Usually these individuals won't verbally express themselves, but if we are caring and selfless enough, we can see and hear what's going on. Sometimes, they just need someone to reach out to show that another human being DOES care....... Your concerns and minimal efforts could mean the world to them and in the end, save their life. It definitely isn't a way out, but to these people, it hurts so bad, that they just want the pain to go away. Never judge them because we don't know what one goes through until we are literally in their shoes.

Answer 3

I have been friends with some who have done this. The one who I cannot forget was the boy in my 6th grade class committing suicide. That was over forty years ago. It has been my experience to see those who think about it but hang in for a short time, life takes a total turn around and their life becomes full of happiness. The devil creates depression and overtakes some in such a bad way that there seems to be no other way out. I know your pain and my heart and prayers are with you and the family.

Answer 4

I give you so much credit for doing what you are about telling people. And you have to be couragus to get on here and say something like that. I'm sorry for your loss. The best thing I can say about the rumors are when they come your way change it around to the great points about him and remember you have the best of him with you.... the memories. nothing anyone can say to you will help the hurt you feel now but remember he will always be with you in your heart.

Good luck

Answer 5

The higher the expectation, the higher the disappointment.
Anyway just a piece of advise for people having friends with problem. If they ever think of committing suicide and almost going to do it, most likely they will end up in that situation a few more time as they are still considering. And they are standing in between life and death, they need people to listen to them(not by giving encouragement or explaining stuff to them but JUST LISTEN). If they keep attempting suicide eventually they will choose to end themselves, the more they think about using suicide as a solution the more they sank deeper into it.
Suicide is the permanent solution to a temporary problem.
BTW I am not talking about people with mental problem but rather people who unable to coup with their problem.

Answer 6

i have been through this. it was my sister-inlaw we were best friends and she killed herself i know how you feel , i miss her alot to this day and she did it like 5 yrs ago. what i learned was forgive them. they had a hard time here and they didnt know how to get help or how to ask. alot of people say its wrong and they will go to hell, but think to your self they are happeir where they are now , they no longer suffer inside, they are free. and you have to stay strong not only for youor friend but for you and his family and those whome loved him.. and think , if you were close as ever. youl always have the memories. the good times. be strong buddy. i have been there too!!! i know how you feel and no it wasnt the right way out but how else could it happen if he couldnt wait. and the rumors?! dont worry bout them in time they will pass. as long as you know the trueth it dont matter what anyone else says although it will be frustrating at times. good luck with you and be strong . your not alone !! email me if need be.. ... one more thing. no-body knew she was in trouble not even her husband. she just did it out of the blue she was pretty and was a very cheerfull person.

Answer 7

Your situation is indeed sad and unfortunate. Your observations are very true, it is not the way out, and it is no ones fault. It is a horrible lesson on the fragility of the human mind. Utilize your school councilor, it really helps to just talk it out like you did on here. The pain and confused feelings will linger but with help will draw to a closure. Pray for others who feel despair and that they seek help and find comfort. Talk with other friends, loved ones.

Answer 8

Tell people that if you don't let society's fluff (stuff society tells you to do but theres really no reason to) control your life then you won't feel the need to kill yourself.

Most people I've known who have killed themselves do so because they can't live up to expectations set by others and this causes conflict and depression in life.

Live life based on things you like and have control over not the other way around.

Answer 9

Sorry about your friend. Suicide is such a selfish, & thoughtless act.
My advice to you is to keep talking it out with those who will lend a sympathetic ear. There are usually grief councellors available at the schools when a student there dies tragically, so take advantage of that as well.
Don't worry about trying to save the world though. Just look after yourself, & take good care.

Answer 10

well, around three weeks ago, there was a REALLY cool guy on my school's basketball team named Joshua. He was doing a great job in a basketball game. (OUR FIRST HOME GAME!!!) then, all of a sudden, in the middle of it, he collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital, but it was too late, and he was announced dead. So many people are still horribly hurt (mentally) about this, and there have been outrageouse rumors, (a news station said that he died because he hit his head on the basketball rim) but, we're starting to get over it because time just moves on. I hope you feel better about this, and just think, ten years from now, you will get over it too.

Answer 11

My husband and I lost a friend to suicide a couple years ago. He to shot himself, and we had no clue he was this depressed. The most important thing for you to remember is that you couldn't do anything to stop him. We had to come to this realization. He was ill, and if he really thought there was another way out, he would have asked. Good Luck.