Is divorce even rational for someone who says they are a Christian?

Question

I have these friends who vowed to be married for life and now - getting divorced. I know the statistics are higher for people who are believers but it's absolutely pathetic. If you get a divorce that's like saying the gift God gave you wasn't good enough. Isn't it like turning your back on your faith? I know so many people who find another person to marry or are adulterous before divorce and they don't even blink an eye - but say they are believers. It ALWAYS seems like one person was committed and the other pushes for the divorce. I just don't get it. Whether it's 6 mos, 7 years or 20 - how can it be - if we're people who trust God - it doesn't go together to buy into the divorce is the answer philosophy does it? The situations I've seen happen - the marriage isn't even that bad - no abuse, neglect or serious crimes committed that could not be worked out in counseling - but one person - the one who divorces - refuses counseling and doesn't want to save the marriage. Help me understand

How can someone who professes to believe in the bible just commit adultery and get a divorce with a clear conscience as if they have done nothing at all wrong? Geez, people who are not believers have stronger sense of moral character than this!

Answer 1

poeple need new things to do and one of tho things are poeple u can never be truely happy becouse u are ever changeing its ok to ge a divorce better to be happy then unhappy

Answer 2

Jesus was opposed to divorce because in his day, wives were literally left with nothing--no means of support at all. Unless they were taken into their families, they starved. That is why he opposed divorce. It was in a context of husbands who wanted to discard human beings with no responsibilities. All so they could get a pretty new bauble.

I don't think divorce should be treated lightly. On the other hand, when your spouse becomes a deadbeat alcoholic abuser who is clearly having a traumatizing influence on the children, it is your RESPONSIBILITY to act. While I'm not thrilled with divorce, I have even less respect for women who do nothing while their husband molests or beats their children.

And by the way, despite what people think about our confessional culture, the fact is is that most people don't really want to discuss why they divorce. They low ball it, look the other way -- "we just weren't getting along." In fact, abuse figures in most divorces, only no one wants to talk about it. You really don't know what marriages and families are like on the inside. You only know what people present in public. And they are often two very different things. So don't assume that there were none of these other factors involved. There probably were.

Answer 3

Many people who say divorce is not the answer are people who have very few family problems (and people who have worked out a marrige affair and all, but not everyone can do that.). And yes sometimes divorce is the answer, you don't want to live with pigs for the rest of your life, do you? And, yes, the bible does NOT say that divorce is entirely bad. Just to work it out and try to build up trust in your marrige, but it is work. Once an affair happens, your trust will completly vanish. But trying to make a marrigie better isn't always sucesful.

Answer 4

According to the Bible, the only legitimate reason for a divorce is adultery. It's so sad and a bit baffling to me when people who claim to be Christians divorce for reasons other than adultery. God said that if we love him, we'll keep his commandments. (Which is much more than the 10 commandments.) The Word also says though that in the last days the love of many will wax (grow) cold.

People just need to put God in the center, pray, and seek counseling when things start getting a little off in their relationship.

Answer 5

Divorce can happen for rational or irrational reasons. Christians are imperfect humans that try to live the life God expects of us. Thanks to Jesus, when we sin and seek true repentance, his shed blood washes our sins. I am a Christian and stayed in a very verbally and at times physically abusive marriage for many years b/c I took my commitment made before God very seriously. It finally became clear to me that I was not in a Christian marriage, I was in a marriage that was corrrupted by evil and if I were to survive and be able to raise my child in a positive environment I must divorce my husband. Although it clearly states that divorce is wrong in God's eyes and that the one that is left is allowed to remarry without being considered an adulterer, I know that staying in a mentally, physically, and spiritually damaging marriage was not what God would want. He states that men are to treat their wives with love and care. None of which I received. I pray for his forgiveness, and believe I have received it based on my beliefs and spiritual counseling. Do I understand why others leave seemingly happy marriages, no I don't. But also remember, things are rarely as they appear to the world. We were the "perfect" family and couple to the outside world, and because of silence and fear, it was years before the reality of our lives were brought out into the light. I trusted God, and feel he led me to do what was best for myself and young son in removing ourselves from a dangerous and unhappy life. It was divorce or eventual death in my mind, and I know God has much more for me to do in this life.

Answer 6

According to the Bible, divorce itself is not terribly wrong. There are many reasons mentioned to divorce your spouse. It's the re-marrying that is wrong if either spouse is still living. The woman should be the example for the unsaved man and vice versa. But I can't be the judge of what people feel and what people go through. Only God can be the judge of that. But I'm also sure that the Lord doesn't want a person in a threatening circumstance or a bad relationship, either. No matter what decision we choose to make in our lives, I'm sure the Lord will be there to guide us along the way. I, myself, made alot of wrong choices but if it weren't for my faith, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Answer 7

The Devil will tempt you and everyone with one thing or another. People are not perfect. Divorce's are a painful thing and yes, even Christian's can get divorced. Who's to say they didn't try to work things out. God know's all and he also knows your destiny. He is a forgiving god, he will forgive you for divorce too.

Answer 8

AS CHRISTIANS WE ARENT TO THINK LIKE THE WORLD AND NO DIVORCE IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER WE TOOK VOW TO LOVE AND HONOR FOR LIFE IMY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 29YRS THERE HAS BEEN SOME RUFF TIMES BUT WE GO TO THE WORD OF GOD AND PRAY AND WORK IT OUT SOME TIMES THAT MEANS FORGIVENESS AND SOMETIMES HUMILITY BUT THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOUR MARRIAGE STRONG WE STAY HONEST AND OPEN WITH ONE ANOTHER PPL WHO WANT TO JUMP TO A DIVORCE ARE IN SIN BY BEING SELFFISH AND NOT HONORING THEIR VOWS THE ONLY REASON I WOULD THINK DIVORCE IS OK IS IN THE CASSE OF AFFAIRS AND ABUSE OTHER THINGS ARE MINNER AND EVEN ABUSE AND AFAIRS CAN BE FIXED IF BOTH ARE WILLING AND BOTH PUT THE EFFORT INTO IT ITS SAD WHEN CHRISTIANS THINK LIKE THE WORLD AND TAKE THE EASY ROAD OUT DUE TO SELFFISHNESS AND LAZYNESS

Answer 9

..... This is why i refuse to marry in a church..... Religion to easily simplify's marriage, as if a fancy document, a fancy speech, and fancy belief's, are a passport to a long and successful marriage... Reality has kicked that concept in the ars* repeatedly, yet they continue to place that sh*t above reality.... If christian's or anyone else decide to divorce, that's up to them, and jesus and the church should pray more, and keep their nose's out of other people's business!....

Answer 10

Sounds like you're a Christian, it that's so then I would encourage you to guard fiercely your walk with Jesus, you are not responsible for anyone else's shortcomings, though we care what happens to them and pray for them.

As a Christian you know we are products of a fallen man Adam, and Satan rules in this world for now because of it (see 2 Corinthians 4:4). The curse of God comes to all mankind through one man, Adam, because of his sin by free will.

God showed His grace towards all mankind through one man when He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice to redeem us from that curse and ensure eternal life with Him through believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior of our lives, and by repenting of our sins (asking forgiveness of and changing our ways from those sins). Jesus redeemed us because of His willingness to die to His own freewill,and to do the will of God the Father.

I don't know how easy this was for Jesus to do, but it is not easy for us humans to do, and we fall short of our goal of being Christlike from time to time. Jesus told us that the greatest in the Kingdom of God will be the least here on earth. Jesus said in Matthew 18:4 "The greatest person in the kingdom of heaven is the one who makes himself humble like this child."

If you humble yourself before almighty God and protect your righteousness by the power of the living Savior, you will become a servant to your wife or husband, but that may not change the other party to the marriage who God has given free will. But your responsibility is to follow God's perfect will for your life, and let God worry about others' walk with Jesus.

May God Bless you with heavenly wisdom on these matters. James 1 begining at verst 5 says: "But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people, so he will give you wisdom. 6 But when you ask God, you must believe and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown up and down by the wind. 7-8 Such doubters are thinking two different things at the same time, and they cannot decide about anything they do. They should not think they will receive anything from the Lord." I encourge you 1. to pray for wisdom and 2. read Holy Scripture wherefrom Heavenly wisdom comes. In Jesus' name. Amen Sincerely, Rick

The Holy Bible : New Century Version , containing the Old and New Testaments. 1991 . Word Bibles: Dallas, TX