This is proably pretty dirty but oh well okay everytime my husband and i have sex its like i never get off...it really sucks...i used to before when we were dating its like now were married...he thinks he doesnt have to try or something and im really getting pretty pissed about it. I proably nag at him more then i should also. But its like if i give him head or something he wont return the favor if i jerk him offf he wont do anything...and tonight has really done it in! Because i have been telling him for while now that i was going to go buy a viberator that i was completely sick of finish it off myself. well tonight i jerked him off and then he turns around and is all i feel bad blah blah so im like okay and at first i was really uncomfy with him playing with me and then i was like okay maybe itll be okay and then hes all slowing down and im like what is going on....and then he lets out a big SNORE!!! He fell asleep fingering me!!! Ugh im so over this !!!
2006-12-27 16:32:00 · 11 answers · asked by cutenwild1769 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What am i supposed to do?!! I'm tired of always finsihing alone...and this is like the third time hes not finished me!
2006-12-27 16:32:32 · update #1
and falling asleep while trying im like jeez dont even bother....
2006-12-27 16:32:58 · update #2
I would not please him till he pleases you first...let him know how it feels...Talk to him and tell him he needs to put a little more effort in the bedroom or your vibrator will become your new best friend _
2006-12-27 16:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Alright the best way to make your point is to stop taking the lead. your givin it up to easily. next time you guys start getting intimate stroke him a few times then stop not mean but move your hand to his chest.Don't break the mood just let it be known this is not endind quickly..Kiss his body ever so gently, up to his neck. And move his hands down to your. #$%%%%. I f that doesn't work. Don't i repeat dont' give him head . matter fact stop that all together. Until u get yours he gets none. He can always say u have a cramp in your hand from whakin him off.You might have to do this a few times but keep your composure.Let him go to bed worked up.keep you eyes on the prize. Now when he says why are you playin games you just respond with "honey im just not into it I want you. Now as your doin the do Change positions when ever you think hes going to get off trust me it will drive him crazy.Right when you think he cant take another position change and hes going to getoff. Ask him to stop because you have to go to the bathroom. When you come back say you need to get wet again befor he can enter.With that he should want to get you off because hes so worked upand has gone soft since you went to the bathroom.If that doesn't work then hes just lazy. Trust every relationship has these moments. Dont be a fraid to try new things
2006-12-27 18:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counselling. There's more going on here than you're able to see. Does he work really long hours? Have you had an open and honest conversation about how you feel? (and I mean one that is brought to him in a loving concerned way?) Some guys have very strange ideas about sexuality after marriage- it's almost as if they see the title "wife" and think "non-sexual being". The same thing happens with some men about when their wives become mothers. Have you asked him what he would like to do in bed and what you could do to get him more interested in wanting to please you? Does he have some social hang-ups about pleasing you? There's a great seminar for couples about sexuality at Miraval Resort in Tucson, AZ. My husband and I attended it and if you can afford it, it will be the best investment in your marriage you could ever make. I've listed it below. It is worth every penny you pay for it. Please remember that sex is about giving and not getting- it's about showing your partner that you love them. Their orgasm is the most wonderful gift they can give you. The more you give, and go into making love with giving in mind, the more your partner will open up and want to give back. I know it sounds difficult, but it can be done.
2006-12-27 16:43:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. You have to put your foot down and not touch him if he refuses to touch you. I don't know if he's lazy, tired, etc. or if there are bigger problems, but please don't let this go on.
When you're not in the bedroom try to talk to him about it... don't try to pick a fight, but explain calmly how this makes you sad/frustrated. This could either be serious right now (like he's cheating or losing interest in you), harmless/a bother (he's lazy), but at any rate if you don't deal with this now it WILL get worse. Don't put up with it, you deserve better! Oh and about the nagging try not to sound like you're nagging cuz everyone hates that... just be rational and calm. Try dressing sexy to see if he seduces you... try to fix it with little things like that then move onto the heavy-duty talks about it and eventually therapy if you can't fix this. Good luck.
2006-12-27 16:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by Principessa 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to have a heartfelt conversation with him. And don't have this conversation in bed. If he indeed loves you, he will hear you. Don't come off as whiney and say "YOU don't......YOU should"...just say things like "I feel like things have changed with us since we got married. My feelings are hurt because you don't seem to want to please me, as much as I do you. Please understand that I have needs too." See what he says. If that doesn't get you anywhere, realize sometimes people forget they still need to seduce their partners. Wear some lingere' to bed, BUY that vibrator and make SURE he hears you when you orgasm!! hehe
2006-12-27 16:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried spicing things up with outfits and role play? Make him take care of you first. Be assertive.
2006-12-27 16:38:52 · answer #6 · answered by water.bratz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry...that sucks and I have no advice, in fact I need some myself. My fiance won't have sex with me, instead he gets off to porn in private....grrrrr.....
2006-12-27 16:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be totally pissed!
Tell him that next time its your turn to finish first, then you'll do him
2006-12-27 16:44:48 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Ladylike ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him wait. thats all i have to say. let him wait untill he wants it so bad he'll go crazzzzy. Then hell have to start pleasing you.
2006-12-27 16:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by watevergal20s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit giving him sex until he wants to pay attention
2006-12-27 16:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋