My wife constantly insults me, anyone know how to stop it?

Question

Here's the thing. My wife has said everything to me from you're lazy to you're penis is small. When I confront her with it, she says she was only kidding. I don't consider insults funny.

Anyone have some ideas of how to get her to stop?

Unacceptable ideas: murder, divorce, violence.

OK, most of the answers were "give her her own medicine" I't not medicine, it's an insult and "2 wrongs really don't make a right".

Special shouts for out to: Sarah, Betty Boop, Peace, AG2SW, Firerescu22. Yvonne K.

Bad, but funny goes to: Telemark, Freeman.

Bottom line, Sarah got the "Best Answer" cause she was right. I will work harder.

Peace came in close second. She is right, it's not about me.

When you all realize that we love through a complete sacrifice of ourselves and only love can heal those hurting, you will come to find peace within yourselves.

God Bless.

One more shout out to the late comers. MJB, Longsnap

Answer 1

Okay, I know this might sound crazy to you at first, but hear me out. I used to pick on my husband all the time. I never told him he had a small penis, mind you, but lots of other insults, and I just wasn't treating him right. I am lucky enough to be married to the most patient man ever, and instead of getting mad and/or insulting me back, he LOVED me to no end. He complimented me, did nice things for me, hugged me and let me know all the time how much I meant to him, and how much it meant to him that I cooked dinner, or did so much for our daughter, etc. Finally one day my eyes popped open! I realized how much it meant to me that he was so kind and patient, and that I wanted to offer that to him as well. I try so much harder now to be kind, especially in the way that I talk to him. We get along so much better now, it's great. If you have the patience, I really recommend this.

Answer 2

Tim, it's only one of two things...

Either she has a lot of anger, and how she vents it is by throwing insults your way all the time (even with a smile on her face).

Or she has the emotional maturity of some kid in Juniour High School!

Either way, she as some issues that are unattended to say the least.

Now, what are you going to do? It doesn't sound like she's going to stop any time soon. So you can be a door mat and put up with it until you are out the door, or you can do something about it.

Ultimately, she's going to have to talk to a therapist about this, but I suspect that's not going to happen anytime soon. And unless you think you should have to put up with this for the rest of your marriage, I suggest you see a therapist to gain some insight into this situation.

The only way you are going to remedy this situation is to become empowered, and the only way that's going to happen is through furthering your knowledge.

You are not going to get her to stop, unless you understand the underlying reasons why.

What's her payoff?

Also, how long has this been going on?

Can you associate the origin of her insulting behaviour with some event?

Has she always been like this?

C'mon guy, quit with the door mat act, don't look for answers here, and do something empowering!

Answer 3

If it's true is it really an insult? If you are lazy the only thing you can do is get a hobby or do more around the house. There is nothing I can tell you to improve penis size, except find another way to please her sexually.

Also remember size is relative, if she was a virgin you would be to big, and if she has a **** like the grand canyon any man would be to small.

Now if she is insulting you in private, deal with it. If she is doing it front of other people inform her you don't like it, if she keeps doing it, make sure she has a ride home, and leave.

If she do it in your own home act a fool, put everybody out that don't live there (embarrass her). Your wife does this because you let her do it, so you have to make her afraid of what you will do (short of violence).

P.S: Y'all should also seek counseling to find out why she feels she has the right to insult you like she do.

Answer 4

The hate and suggestive insults back toward her will only earn you one of the unacceptable ideas you listed; and it would b e the big D and I don't mean Dallas. Did she do that when you all first met and were married? Leaving at confronting but with no follow thru on your feelings almost opens the door for her not to hear you or your hurt. After you confront her ask her why she says it? If she answers she is kidding tell her it hurts and you do not want to grow apart because of comments she feels are kidding. Lay the ground rules but also be able to listen when she tells you why. There may be something you have overlooked and she has tried to tell you. Be listening for it but be open to work on healing too. Before the conversation is over lay the ground rules that you do not like it and you can talk about it any time but do not want her to talk about you like that. You don't kid that way and it is difficult for you to tell the difference. God speed.

Answer 5

why not give her a taste of her own medicine and start insulting her back? If she says your dick's too small tell her it's all she can handle anyways (otherwise why else would she marry you?). Things like that. Maybe she's not trying to insult you but rather is trying to poke a little and rekindle some long dead spark? Maybe she's so desperate for dialogue and debate she's ready to say almost anything?

THe other answer is therapy. If you are really suffering tell her you need councelling because life just isn't fun anymore...

Answer 6

Don't worry about the "small one" insults. If it was that much of an issue, she wouldn't have married you. Some females still think that's a real painful dig to take on a man, although most of us with triple-digit IQs know it's an immature, desperate attempt to degrade a man.

I'd also remind her that your paycheck still comes in your name, and you can't live far from a gentlemen's club, where you can sit back as lazily (I guess that's a word) as you please, have girls rub on your "small one" and you won't be insulted by the girls as you spend your wife's shopping funds.

Another option is to wet the bed and blame it on your damaged self-esteem. She might banish you to the couch, but for at least one night she'll be wearing your urine, which has to cut deeper than any childish insults.

Answer 7

Everyone is telling you to insult her back but do you think stooping to her level will teach her a lesson?? No, it will only put you in the wrong as well and then she can hold that against you during future insults or arguments. Treat her as you expect to be treated. Let her know that it hurts you and even though she considers it "just kidding", you would prefer she stop. Let her know that it is unacceptable in the relationship to intentionally hurt e/o and you won't stand for it if it continues. But, mean what you say!

Answer 8

First, remember that everything everyone else does is all about them and not about you. The fact that she insults you is because she has issues of her own, like incredibly low self esteem and could benefit from some counselling. To be so insulting to the person who is supposed to be the top priority in your life is incredibly insensitive. I know it sounds very hard, but have you tried giving her compliments? Somehow, she needs her self esteem brought up so she feels good about herself. Once she feels good about herself, I bet you'll see a complete turn around in how she treats you. Happy people don't insult other people in any way- in fact, they tend to be the ones giving out compliments! Is she stressed? Is there any way for her to get a break so she could step back and see herself more clearly? Do you guys have good role models that she could be around? Being around couples that treat each other with respect makes you want to be like them. All in all, it really sounds like she just does not like herself and needs to feel better about her, before she will be capable of being nice to you. :)

Answer 9

Counseling. Go alone if she won't go. Let her know you are going. She is abusing you. Verbal abuse is just as bad a physical abuse. This too is a form of domestic violence. You deserve better. Get some counseling to help you clarify what you really want and need in this marriage. and whether or not you do need to consider divorce.
Hopefully your wife will go to counseling with you and learn why she feels a need to be abusive.
Also pray. Prayer changes things. God is able.
God bless you. Do go to counseling.

Answer 10

I'm sure you've already told her to stop.. unfortunately this is a form of abuse : verbal.. tell her to stop or else. Separate will really make her realize how immature she's being and she'll stop. If she doesn't ask her to reverse roles for 4 days and see how she likes it. Be the man. You can do it. She'll stop. No one likes a taste of their own bad medicine. :) Good luck.