Why do "gay" women like women who dress, walk, talk and act like men?

Question

And likewise, why do gay men like men who dress in drag and conceal their male parts and paste on woman parts and wear makeup and are more feminine that I could ever imagine to be?

Wouldn't that make them STRAIGHT?

Not trying to offend. I've just always been curious about this.

Answer 1

I have always wondered the same thing! If you are gay and want to be w/ someone of the same sex then why be w/ a man who acts like woman or a woman who looks/acts like a man? Why not go for the "real thing"...it's a mystery to me.

Answer 2

No, a straight person is someone who is physically and emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite gender. Not clothing style or haircut.
Those are extremely superficial attributes of certain individuals, not of either the straight or gay community as a whole.

Do you see all women who dress in jeans and t-shirts with a short haircut and who wear either work boots or trainers as lesbians? Would the idea that a straight women might actually choose that kind of clothing because of the job she does or because she simply finds it comfortable, ever cross your mind?

Why would all lesbians only ever be attracted to other femme/girly-girl types? Wouldn't that get a bit boring? Wouldn't they just argue over who got to wear what pair of pumps all the time, or who was using the bathroom the longest?
Come on, variety is the spice of life.
Just as I don't always eat the exact same meal every night, I'm not always attracted to the same type of female.
Being bi I can find myself attracted to both males and females, and you know, I like all kinds of each.

I'm not hung-up on superficial appearances as it would seem you are.
I am attracted to the person within, not the clothing or haircut a person sports.

Answer 3

Well... see there's a mix of curiosity about traditional gender roles and about sexual orientation in your question. So lets see if I can answer both without things getting ridiculously confusing.

Sexual orientation is based on what gender you're attracted to. So a gay man likes men and a lesbian likes women. What the person is wearing is a personal preference. It has nothing to do with gender. It's just like some straight girls like the "big dumb jock" type and others like the "metrosexual" type. Both types are men. They just look very different. A straight girl who likes a particularly effeminate metrosexual isn't a lesbian. :)

Same thing with butch and femme women. They just look different from one another but they still fall into the category of women. So a femme who is attracted to someone who looks butch is a lesbian. Not straight.

Okay, I think I just made sense. I hope so anyway. But it was a good question and I'm glad you asked.

Answer 4

You must understand that there is a difference between sex and gender. Sex is what you have between your legs, on your chest- it's whether you are, technically, male or female. Gender is everything else: the way you dress, look, talk, act, style yourself, how you behave sexually . . . all that.

When we talk about sexual orientation, we are talking about sex. If you are a woman and you like vaginas, you are lesbian. If you are a man and you like penises, you are gay. It's just a fact. As a lesbian, you may like women whose gender matches their sex- feminine women, or a gay man may like masculine men. But by liking a feminine man or masculine woman, a gay or lesbian person doesn't have straight desires, but desires for that gender on that body. These lesbians don't want men; they want women, but they like masculinity. Same for gay men who don't want women, at all, but want feminine men. It's about gender, not about sex.

I would like to point out, though, that there's a difference between a drag queen and a feminine man. If a man likes a feminine man, I'd call him gay. If he liked a drag queen, however, I'd have to say that there might be some element of heterosexuality to his desires, if he was aroused by the female facade put on (particularly if he didn't know it was a man). If he knew it was a man, his sexual desire for him might be the fact of his sex (penis) underneath that dress!

Hope that made sense!

Answer 5

I am a gay woman and I'm not attracted to "butch" women. It's just a personal preference. If I wanted to be with someone that looked and acted like a man...I would be with a man.

Answer 6

Because people are very complex. This may seem difficult to understand but society teaches us that everything fits into only two boxes. Tough he men who go to work, subseviant house wives who stay at home and wash dishs. I could make lists that go on for hours but basically what I want to say is that society Like to simplify everything because that they people are easy to control.
Like imagine that your the president and you declar war on another country and people go, 'but I'm not into war, I'm a gentile person and like to help people,' so men are meant to be ruff and tough and girls are meant to wash the dishs, any change in this dynamic leads to a society where people start to act the way they feel for who they are and not for who and how the the govt and church tell them they are.
I think people should just be themselves really, otherwise alsorts of repressed personalities start to emerge in the form of mental illnessess, such as men who bash gay men because they are trying to surpress the face that they are guy themselves.
Anyways I'm trying to say people are really complex and the two boxs that society gives us to hop into are just silly and people don't fit in them so they look odd to the people who believe in two boxs and not 6 billion boxes, one for each personality on earth.

Answer 7

Not all gay women are attracted to women who are very masculine and the same goes for gay men and men who are more feminine. Its depends on who they are attracted to.

Answer 8

not all do, the ones who do probably all have very different reasons. Personally, I wear what is comfortable and if someone thinks that is masculine or feminine that's up to them.

Answer 9

First off, Colby, *dumb* next but most importantly its all about somebodies swagger. If they have just this presence about them that's just ummm humm...i happen to like studs/masculine dykes. but i don't care for men. the difference is that they are more hmmm rough oh oh an i love a thug.....smh......but no i don't wear make up and i hate skirts but I'm a lady none the less....i don't care for the dykes that don't know they're women...that irks me to no end......you have a crotch love it touch it smell it

Answer 10

Sexuality isn't black and white. It's quite varied, complex and exists in many forms. Just because some people can't understand something doesn't mean it's wrong.