Mostly my feelings are hurt--I had money to spend this year, he started a job last year after his plant closed down and is making half of what he used to, but because I had some saved and am working I've been paying the majority of the bills. I guess I thought he would get me a little something (a box of candy would've been enough--a pair of socks--even a card!!!). I bought everything for the kids, his family, my family (not that there are that many but--), dinner, etc. The last gift I got from him was 3 years ago--and it was a teakettle. I don't mean to sound materialistic but doggone!!! I work everyday, come straight home, cook dinner, house is clean, laundry is done. It's not so much getting something as my feelings were really hurt!!! So should I just let it go and get over it? Well, guess I have to but---would you????
2006-12-27 16:04:38 · 26 answers · asked by fallingstar 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel your pain, I know its not what you get its the thought that really matters.
My husband is the same way on Holidays and occasions. I do all the shopping for everyone else, kids family exc, Something would be nice.
I really dont think they mean any harm by it, or at least I dont want to think they do.
2006-12-27 16:08:58 · answer #1 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would be a bit hurt. He is making some money and you are paying the bills which means he had a little money he could have spent on you. It sounds to me he is totally taking advantage of you in every way. This is sad to me seeing how you have kept your family from going under and put food on the table and made sure your kids had a Merry Christmas and what has he done? Not only can he not pay the bills he can't even get you a thank you present for Christmas to show how much he appreciates you feeding his ***. Well what's done is done I guess. Did you get him anything for Christmas? If you did what did he say when you gave it to him and he gave you nothing?
2006-12-27 16:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I do not buy each other anything for christmas but we have agreed on that together. The reason is that we spend so much on our kids and others and throughout the year on ourselves that we just need to budget during this time and it means more to us to spend on our kids then each other. We do go out alot together w/o the kids though. We feel it is more important to show our love through actions rather then through the almighty dollar. I feel guilty when he buys something for me since I can not do the same for him since I'm a stay home mom and he spends enough on me w/my horses. Some guys are just not shoppers and really dont know what to get. Shallow excuse I know but maybe just talk to him about it. Come to an agreement that works for the 2 of you.
2006-12-27 16:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by Ivory_Flame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what your going through, I've been with my husband 7 years married for 3 and he's only bought me 3 things in the last 7 years! You have to tell him how you feel, and let him know it wasn't the fact you didn't get anything it was the feeling that he didn't care enough to think about you. My husband doens't believe in holidays, mabey he's the same way and needs a nudge, when he does wake up it'll be worth it, got a bluetooth this year, 1st present in 3 years!
2006-12-27 16:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by pitas4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are hurt. Who wouldn't be? Tell your husband in a calm voice that you were disappointed and hurt that he did not get you anything for Christmas. Explain to him it would not have to be expensive but just something to let you know he cared enough to think about you. Some men just don't get it. They need to be told in simple terms what it is that would make a woman feel loved and special. Just tell him that next Christmas, Anniversary, or Birthday that you would love for him to get you a little something even if it is just a card or dinner at a restaurant.
2006-12-27 16:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what you saying..... ´Its not the gift that counts but the thought´ And he didnt even think about it! Right?
We all know that Christmas is a time of joy and love and everyone, everyone likes to receive presents. Its human. I would be hurt as well, if i didnt get anything. I would also go to him and tell him that you hurt, make it clear that you not angry at him, but you hurt. You have done your best to make him happy and he didnt even get you anything. Explain to him that its the thought...the thought of giving you something that would of made all the difference. Its not like you were expecting something that costs thousands and thousands but even if it was something small. Be it € 3 or € 100, thats not the point, the point is that you would of liked for him to remember you at this time of year.
I hope that helps.....
2006-12-27 19:53:52 · answer #6 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say the last gift was three years ago. So this holiday must not mean much to him or something more than giving presents.
Also this year he is making less. If you are doing everything he probably has a lot more on his mind than buying a box of candy.
2006-12-27 16:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lady, you do not need to justify your feelings! You are justified in felling hurt/disappointed. There are NO excuses! Sharing gifts is as much a part of American society/culture/way of life as the Flag is to symbolizing our Nation.
From birth, on, most Americans share gifts with each other at Christmas time.
If your husband, chose to ignore your feelings, that calls into question his feelings towards you!
More, I dare not write.
2006-12-27 16:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about it, I don't think any harm was meant and he might not even realize what he did/or hasn't done. If you don't say anything it will continue to happen...the fact that he is not making the money he used to he might be feeling a little low...so you have to say something...Its not the gift but the thought...
Many blessings to you and your marriage
2006-12-27 16:18:05 · answer #9 · answered by Singer22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly ... join the crowd gf,i got my hubby 3 shirts and 3 pair of really nice jeans from Wal-Mart the shirts was $30.00 a a piece,and the jeans was $30.00 a pair(that`s $180.00--all together) ...and he got me NOTHING,not even a Christmas card.So do like i do hon be grateful you have one another and be satisfied with the love that ya`ll share,and thank God that you have that and one another to love and cherish that......BUT he could have got you SOMETHING !!!!!!!!!!!!! SOME MEN I TELL YA...LOL
I hope your New Years is better for you sweetie.
You take care and have a great night.
2006-12-27 16:15:38 · answer #10 · answered by bambi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋