He thinks she should leave home and rent an apartment closer (10 miles) to school to get the experience of being on her own. She doesn't have her tutition money for next year so she took out a loan. She got a guy room mate to share expenses. What's wrong with this picture? Her boy friend said he'll break up with her if she doesn't do it.
I think this whole thing stinks. He'll be giving her ultimatums for anything that he wants her to do.
2006-12-27 15:58:23 · 11 answers · asked by Barbra 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
Barbara,
I do not like the sound of His Ultimatum but I would not want her living with someone she really does not know either. She has to make this choice, even if it is a tuff one. I hope that she prays for GOD's HELP on this one. It seems to me that HE must be a part of the answer. I hope that she makes the right one for her. Have a great week!
Eds
2006-12-27 16:03:26 · answer #1 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm a little confused with the circumstances.
1. He wanted her to leave home and moved closer to school, so she took out a loan and found an apartment that has a roommate.
2. If she's already done this, than why will the boyfriend break up with her if she doesn't do it? Do what? Live on her own? Is he going to help her pay for it?
She should be doing things to help herself and her college experience. I'm not sure I understand this situation completely, but I agree that ultimatums do not make a relationship a good one. In fact, the bigger the ultimatum, the more insecure a person feels in the relationship (in my opinion). There are years and years to get into a realtionship, nothing is written in stone that you need to find your life partner by the time you finish college, so I would encourage her to follow her desires for what she wants to do in life -- if he wants to be a part of it, he will stick around -- and if he continues to try to control the situation, maybe she will wake up and smell the coffee before it is too late.
2006-12-27 16:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by kaliselenite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be strong, stand firm on your beliefs. Be true to yourself even if it means losing this guy. In the long run you will be happier with your life when you are either alone with no one giving you ultimatums or you will find another guy worthy of your love and energy, someone who doesn't demand his own way. Life is too short to cow-tow to someone like this. He is insecure and jealous, no one you want to spend time or your heart on.,,
2006-12-27 16:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by Cat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How you begin is generally how you proceed. If you give in to his demands now it will most likely always be so.
If he wants you to get experience at being on your own and making your own decisions, start with the one that does not let some guy dictate where and how you must live.
2006-12-27 16:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by Crabby Patty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should say, "Bye, bye" just as fast as she can. There's a lot of male fish in the sea & she can do a whole lot better. Isn't dating about finding people who make you feel better - not worse?
2006-12-27 17:22:03 · answer #5 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has trust issues, that means low self esteem, so not good man...
My opinion (Male University Student)
2006-12-27 16:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you leave him...dump his butt. why? people like this are just control freaks. no matter what you do today, it will never be good enough tomorrow.
bail out now while you still can.
2006-12-27 16:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you can't afford to move then don't and tell him to take a hike and you can find someone else that will treat you better.
2006-12-27 16:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by nscar_fan_3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should say good- bye to him in four different languages.
2006-12-27 16:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she should give one back at him:
stop what you're doing (restate to him what it is that he is doing) OR I'll dump your controlling a**
2006-12-27 16:00:59 · answer #10 · answered by justwannaknow 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋