how do you know if that baby is with bad parents or not? why does it hurt when you'll never see that baby again.
2006-12-27 15:29:57 · 10 answers · asked by choosinghappiness 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It is only natural for it too hurt when you give your baby up because that is your child that you been carrying for 9 mth's. I could never ever give up my baby, I would rather have an abortion. Abortion is not good either however, it is easier because you did not deliver the child.
2006-12-27 15:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by Vicky 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It hurts because the baby is a part of you no matter what! Nobody can change that! You carry the baby for 9mos and feel it move inside you A bond is created between you and that child.
The only way that you would know if the baby is being treated well is if you do an open adoption. A friend of mine had a little girl and she knew that she would not be able to give the little girl everything that she needs, but she also wanted to know how the child is doing from time to time. She did an open adoption and she has a great relationship with the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents allow the child to go and visit her biological mother during the summers.
You did the right thing if you are unable to care for the child. I hope things get better for you. Good Luck!
2006-12-27 23:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure of your situation of why you had to give up a baby to adoption. Sometimes there are situations that women are in and need to choose adoption by parents who can care for that baby.
You are human and of course you will feel hurt of letting your baby go to someone else to raise. You are not a bad person for doing this nor should you beat yourself up over this. My guess is that you were in a situation where you had not much of an option but to choose adoption.
No one can predict if one is going to be a good parent or not, weither it is adoptive parents or natural parents. However, if you went through a legit adoption agency then screen prospective parents very carefully before placing a child with them. Maybe the adoptive parents will let you in the childs life when he or she becomes older and realizes that he or she was adopted and expresses interest to meet the biological mother and father.
You sound like a good person. The reason that I say this is because you are extremely concerned about your baby's well being. I wish I could say you will get over this right away, but you will not. However, the sorrow will get better over time. I am sure you will go on in life, have a family of your own, and maybe have more children.
I am sure in the furture you will be able to reconnect with your baby and when the baby becomes an adult, I think he or she would want to know you and will not hold any faults against you for having the adoption.
2006-12-27 23:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by happynay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It hurts because you have nurtured and loved the baby for 9 months while it was growing inside of you. But if you know that you will not be able to care for the baby properly, then the best thing you can do to show your love for the child is give the baby up for adoption. Love is what causes the pain.
You know that the parents will treat your baby well, because they have been fully investigated by the adoption agency. If they were not ready to be good parents, they never could have gotten your baby.
Some day, when your baby is an adult, they might decide that they want to meet you. If you want to leave the option for a reunion open, make sure that the adoption agency always has your current contact information.
2006-12-27 23:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by baby_savvy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It hurts because you carried that baby around with you all the time for nine months.The baby became a part of you and you became a part of it.You delt with the sickness and the pain with the baby and the first time you felt the baby move you probably had butterflies and maybe if even for a second you were happy you had that little bundle of joy safe inside you.The baby was not a thing but a person that you could talk to when no one else would listen and he/she wouldnt complain even for a second it would just listen and maybe answer you by a soft kick.You feel hurt because you didnt just give up your baby you gave away a piece of your heart.
2006-12-28 00:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by USMC LCpl Wife & Mommy 2 Be! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because as a parent, you want to protect your child - that's the most natural instinct. When you give a child up for adoption, though they may end up with wonderful, phenomenally good parents, you don't know that for sure. it's that uncertainty that bears down on you. The feeling like they might end up in a horrible experience on account of you giving them up. But here's where faith comes in. If you give a child up with the best of intentions and just KNOW that they'll be better off (in every way) because of it, things will work out. That's how you get them through, and yourself as well. It'll probably still hurt (due to the separation), but at least you'll know that the selfless decision was for the best.
2006-12-27 23:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by Haute Chocolate 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It hurts because your giving your flesh n blood away....a little version of you. All you can do is hope the kid gets good parents. If you gave your kid up for adoption, I'm sure you did it for a good reason (at least you didn't get an abortion, right). I hope you do get to see your baby again and may be even bring him/her back into your home when it's right for you. I can't say I understand how you feel (because I never been in your shoes), but I would like to say that I hope you feel better. God bless you.
2006-12-27 23:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by Cali03 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It hurts because you have been nurturing that child for 9 months...you have bonded with that child and it is your flesh and blood, it is a PART of you. Giving a child up for adoption is a very very hard thing to do, and I aplaud you for making a choice that you think is best for your child. You should have met the parents and chosen the parents for your child...many mothers know who thier child is going to or at least read a profile of the parents. In most cases adoptive parents need to go through a lot of screening to ensure that the child will be in a good home. I would trust that your child now has loving parents that wanted him and her very much. I hope things get better for you!
2006-12-27 23:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by Aubrey's Mommy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You carried that baby for nine months and it is like a part of you and you are just giving away a part of you and will always wonder where they are and what they are doing no matter what.
2006-12-27 23:35:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it hurts becuase you just gave away a part of you, (it's like losing a kidney) lol
2006-12-27 23:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by Unknown Artist~ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋