my daughter is so deppressed and can't forgive his father for getting married again and she doesn't see him again
2006-12-27 15:17:51 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask for help from her pediatrician or her school. A true depression is almost constant and stays for several weeks, (6-8) Not too many details here so I don't understand the forgiveness part. Does she dislike the new wife, did she ask Dad not to re-marry? For some reason she feels betrayed. maybe since the marriage (or b4) he has put her on the bk burner? Really need to get his help here too. But professional advise would b the best.
Good luck!
2006-12-27 15:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by •♦๑•TxRose•♦๑• 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of yelling, try dropping your voice. It will probably take everything you have, because you'll be angry/upset/etc., but it will catch her attention. Kids at that age (and ongoing from there) tend to escalate really quickly, and they will fight just for the sake of fighting, because they want to be right and assert themselves as being independent from you. So if you stay calm, she has less to build on. When she raises her voice, just let her know that you're not up for it (again, in a quiet voice), and walk away. Wait until she cools off before pursuing it, and don't pursue it if it's just a small thing. Choose your battles--just major things rather than daily hassles. She may well believe that she hates you, but if you consistently love her and show her that she will eventually get over that phase and once again be able to show you that she does love you. It's possible to love someone and hate them at the same time (I'm a parent--I feel like that all the time about my 2 year old!). Stick to your guns on the really important issues (e.g., her safety, your core values), and try to let some things go. If it makes her feel like she's being independent because she gets to do something you may dislike (e.g., dying her hair; piercing something relatively innocent), it may ward off a bigger battle over something more serious and potentially very dangerous (e.g., going out with a really awful friend and drinking). Hope this helps.
2016-03-28 21:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, at her age, kids feel like if they act up enough or show they are have a traumatic time with what has happened, maybe the parents won't split, or they won't move from where they presently live, or dad won't remarry. In an 8 year old world they don't understand that mom and dad don't get along, or the house is already sold or dad has gone on with his life. It is however, important for mom and dad to act as adults and make the transitions, what ever they are, as smooth as possible with out letting tantrums overrule. In this case, mom has to be grown up enough to be supportive of dad and help the daughter to deal with it, and dad can't drop his daughter or communication with his ex over his new wife. It's important for everyone to have communication and the daughter to know this new person is "in addition to" not "in place of" her and her mom.
2006-12-27 15:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by 123..WAIT! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. thats really difficult to handle i guess.i know she might be thinking that i cant forgive my father but she has a right to. If her father doesnt call her or do anything for her in this period then your daughter truly has a right.if he doesnt call and ask why she isnt seeing him or at least talking to him on the phone then maybe theres something wrong with the father not asking.also dont worry about it because she'll go through this and then the time will come and she will at least talk to him on the phone at leat just wait and have even more patientce with her we all know depressing but have even more patientce.well i hope i helped.
2006-12-27 15:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should both go to counseling. I really hope you're not making the situation worse by talking bad about your ex. You need to get your daughter through this tough time. There are so many single parents out there and they do it by themselves. You can too. You can't make him be a part of her life. If he wants to forget about his daughter you have to be mom and dad. I know it's hard, but you have no other choice. He will get his. Make sure he at least pays you child support.
2006-12-27 15:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he re-married doesn't mean she cant see him again. you need to be the MOTHER and talk to her and tell her that she is an important part of her fathers life. NEVER talk down about her dad.
perhaps you can have a talk with her dad and let him be aware of the situation and arrange for a meeting for them to talk. I don't understand why his marriage should be a depressing thing for your daughter. maybe explain to her that now she has more people that love her...IE her new step-mom, her family etc. make it as positive as possible. this should NOT be a bad thing for her.
2006-12-27 15:22:33 · answer #6 · answered by Joannie W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really tough. I went through a similar situation. It's not easy growing up in someone else's home--I grew up with my dad and his new wife. It was tough. She is not a bad person, but not very warm. So, it was hard for me to live with them. I think the father in this case should reassure his daughter that she is always special to him, no matter what. My father never did that, and it is difficult for me to respect him or love him.
2006-12-27 15:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very supportive of your daughter. If your ex is a nice person that won't try to use your daughter to hurt you, let her see her mom. I mean, if your ex is Ms. Psycho and will try to poison your kid, then stay away. If not let her visit. And be the best and most honest dad you can be. Don't bad mouth her mom. Build her up in your daughter's mind.
2006-12-27 15:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know it is ok to be sad. Please be careful not to put dad down in front of her. A lot of times, men just go on with their lives and make new lives without thinking about the children left behind. Love her and let her know you are there. If possible, try to get her in counseling. Maybe even through a church or school. Can you talk to dad and let him know he is hurting her? Does he know? Does he care? If he knows and doesn't do anything to change this situation for your daughter. Just be there for her. I hate this! My kids dad did this to them, and it is so sad, my heart is breaking for you and for her. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-27 15:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would speak with the father and let him know what she is going through. I would also place the girl in some counseling sessions to help her deal with this.
God bless
2006-12-27 15:22:47 · answer #10 · answered by just_trump_my_ace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋