We have many friends (all ages) and most of our families have been supportive. (His daughter hasn't spoken to us in 25 years.)
My husband is now retired, but I still need to work. There are people (young, female) at work who openly distain me because of my relationship. The ones who seem most ardent are under 30 and female. Why are young women so opposed to this marriage? What suggestions do you have for helping me cope with outright criticism of our marriage? Thanks!
2006-12-27 14:53:59 · 16 answers · asked by Meow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did not tell my fellow employees about our age difference - they looked us up on the Internet. I had no problems with my co-workers until they go this information. I think I want you to tell me how to put them in their place without burning professional bridges. Does this make sense?
2006-12-27 15:31:26 · update #1
you have obviously complained about something, and they have picked up on it. if they knew nothing about your relationship, they couldn't form an opinion. if you want them to stop, then stop telling them anything about your personal life.
2006-12-27 15:01:10 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's really none of your business about what other people are thinking about you. I guess a nicer way to say it would be that you shouldn't let others rent space in your head.
Me, I'm fifty and have always been single, and truthfully, I do seek out women younger than me. I believe this is because I was so inadequate in approaching women and dating them when I was a teenager and young adult. I was very insecure and immature and just didn't have the skill set to form a connection.
I think your husband is very lucky to have you and I sincerely wish you both another successful thirty years of marriage.
2006-12-27 23:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seems really odd to me! I think it is mostly today's society that does not value the family like they should. If you are kind and genteel and win the opposers to yourself as friends, the criticism will disappear.
When criticized a demure smile and something like, "Yes, I understand you feel that way. I am really happy in my marriage." "That's an interesting point of view. Thanks for sharing it with me." Then just walk away. Take the high road. THey are NOT arguing fact, because the facts indicate you are right. THey are being EMOTIONAL, and you cannot fight emotion with fact, so do not try to convince them with words - it will not work.
2006-12-27 23:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow 30 years is a long time and 35, that is rare. If it were me I would tell them what you have is rare and you worked for it. IF they are jealous its only because they can't cope with the fact that they'd be tied down, in their minds, forever to one person God forbif that ever happen. I would just go about my life and ignore their criticisms and say being with one person is better then 5 it is healtier.
2006-12-27 22:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by WINGS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you and your husband are very lucky to have found each other and very smart to have created a successful marriage.
I am sorry that his daughter is such a twit, but it was her choice to behave like, well, an idiot.
As for your coworkers, as I am sure you well know, if they weren't talking about that, it would be something else. If they aren't gossiping about you, they will gossip about someone else. What a classy bunch.
As for helping you cope, just remember that you don't need their approval, or anyone's approval.
2006-12-27 23:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by Abby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why be bothered by these young women who opposed to your marriage ? They have the right to oppose and you have your right to your happiness. Marriage is between two persons , ask them to mind their own business. Just ignore the criticisms.
2006-12-27 23:15:18 · answer #6 · answered by yy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly is the criticism? If my math is right you are in your late 50's (at least) and your far younger coworkers do not interact with you. I think you are actually being disdained for some other reason. Why would anyone care about your marital status?
2006-12-27 22:59:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bullwinkle Moose 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It may sound cliche but if you are happy and it works for you it really is no one elses business.
Maybe they wish they had what you have. There are not many successful and happy marriages these days.
2006-12-27 22:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
..... that's fantastic!..... You's 2 must have been made for each other...... Some of the complainer's, and whinger's are lucky to make it around the block, let alone 20 or 30 year's.... Not everyone here disdain's you,..... me and other's are heap's happy for you's two!... Whoa!... mamma!!...
2006-12-27 23:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by peanut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe they are jealous because you have a strong marriage, and don't let them bother you and who cares who opposed to your marriage, don't let that get to you. they are unhappy and they want everyone else to be to. congradulations, just keep up what both of you are doing. and remember ignore those people who are opposed to your marriage, they don't matter.
2006-12-27 22:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to be bothered with them its your life its your choice...maybe they are just envy you! you know what? for being in that relation for so long is a fulfillment already you shouldnt be worried about other people criticism coz they cant support you and your husband. just be strong :)
2006-12-27 22:59:43 · answer #11 · answered by mybabytart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋