how can i mature and control my anger issues?

Question

i have a major problem with anyone who i think goes out of line with me i will say something below the belt and hurt them worse. it happened to day between me and my brother, he said something to me i came back and said something i shouldnt have and now i regret what i said. can someone help me?

Answer 1

A rageholic is usually nothing more than a person that is afraid of being hurt themselves... It is a result of deeply neglected trust issues and self preservation. And if they should happen to hurt or intimidate you. Rage is a great (exaggerated, but great) way of actually SHOWING that person how they made you feel. No one misunderstands when they are raged at! They do get the message!

Raging at people you feel are going to hurt you is your learned response way of dealing with them before they can hurt you.

Teach yourself another way by purposely doing the opposite when you feel the rage coming on.

Answer 2

You need to carefully consider how a problem with anger will negatively affect your life - loss of relationships is the biggest one. Don't just put that down as an effect and forget about it, though. YOu need to seriously consider how anger has hurt you in the past,and how it will continue to hurt you in the future. Anger is a problem with undue focus on self. When someone annoys you unintentionally and you hurt them intentionally, that is called being irritable and is one face of anger. Taking small slights and getting extreme revenge is another face of anger. The thought is that NO ONE IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO ME WITHOUT MY GETTING BACK AT THEM. I AM GOING TO CONTROL THIS SITUATION. This attitude is wrong; there are many small things that we all do each day that could be taken the wrong way, and if you take them the wrong way, you are going to drive people away and end up alone. Plus, you are still not the one in control - your anger is. First, when you get angry and act on it - force yourself to apologize. Yes, this will be hard, but it will certainly make you think twice the next time. Even if the person does not accept your apology, apologize anyway. Envision in your mind what you should have done. Think about situations in the past where your anger has controlled your actions, and redo it in your imagination in a way that has you responding correctly. Each day think of things to be thankful for; also, plan a good deed to do for someone else every single day. When you are thinking of the good things in your life, and doing good for others, it is very difficult to be angry quickly. When you plan things to control your anger, you must keep with it. If you blow it a few times, don't let that stop you. Just apologize and start over. You can take care of this problem.

Answer 3

I have dealt with several women who like drama.some people feel the need to always have the last word.Some people feel the need for revenge they want to get everyone back .

If you want to control your anger don't let yourself get caught up in these type situations.Simply be the better person.Be nice to people no matter what they say,this will also drive them crazy.I learned to deal with people in my life by letting the little thigs go.By letting the little things go you can prevent the big dramatic sceens.I can tell you if you go thru life holding grudges you will waste your happiness on these feelings.Our goal in life should be to make ourself happy,but not at the expense of others.Remember you can not help the things other people do,but you have to sleep with yourself everynight.If you lay down tonight and think about your day and regret the things you have done.Do not do those things tomorrow.

Answer 4

There are a lot of possibilities to your question. As with any problem within a person they must recognize the problem and be willing to correct it. You've already traveled halfway. I receive daily Native American meditations by e-mail which causes me to reflect on several of life's problems. The previous suggestion of deep breathing to relax is excellent as the more oxygen to the brain the better you think and stay calm. If you believe in totem animals you can use the power of the armadillo to deflect hurtfull things others say about you and its as if it doesn't matter. If you are seeking help you are already maturing by wanting to correct your behavior.

Answer 5

My son has a serious anger issue and counselor told him to always count to 10 forward and backward before reacting. This has really helped him.

Answer 6

u need to learn how to accept a punch, and say ouch.
remember these Q cards. trust me u have to assess yourself.

1. WHAT ARE YOU FEELING?
2. WHAT ARE TELLING YOUR SELF YOU ARE FEELING?
3. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

you might feel hurt that they are trying to hurt/inrage you.
you tell your self u r angry
you strike back.

on the real
you are hurt
say to your self u r hurt
tell them that was low and walk away

dont say to your self i am mad cuz they hurt me.
the basis is that u r hurt.

i think it takes a much stronger person to learn how to control their anger, than the one throwing blows just to hurt you. just suck it up man, say ok, you hurt my feelings . i think alot of things about u that would hurt u too. but i dont have to throw them in your face to make myself feel better. THINK THINK THINK
USE YOUR MIND. NOT YOUR HEART.

Answer 7

You are almost there...First step is to recognize you...very good...
Speak to a professional anger management personnel...Your doctor can recommend...Read books on anger management. Learn to meditate....and remember, if you allow someone to make you angry, you are actually giving them the power to do so....Keep cool....It is very easy to act out...Only smart individuals keep calm...in any situation...You I feel are smart too...

Answer 8

Try a program on anger management.

Answer 9

the best way to control ur anger is sit down,make ur back straight,ur shoulders straight,close ur eyes,breathe in deeply and slowly for atleast 1min...believe me it really helps

Answer 10

try doing something nice and say nice things to the people you hurt