Im finding it difficult to accept that my best mates are always spending time with their girlfriends but yet can never make time for me or their other mates. I mean there is just a total lack in effort and im on the verge of ending one of our friendships. I have gone from having great times with friends to nothing. I stay in most weekends and this is not right for a 22 year old. I wanna go out there and have fun and just enjoy life. I have actually wrote my best friend a letter on this but i have not yet given it to him. Do you think this is a good idea? Thank you.
2006-12-27 14:25:49 · 26 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is an interesting question coming from a guy! I always think of this problem as affecting girls. When people have boy/girlfriends sometimes they tend to kind of forget about their friends and it's not necessarily deliberate. My daughter's best friend started feeling this way and now my daughter is trying to divide her time more evenly, not spending quite as much time w/her boyfriend because she didn't realize how much her best friend missed spending time w/her.
I'm not sure I'd send that letter. Can you just talk to your friend about it in person? Sometimes people think that their romantic involvement is a "forever" one, but true best friends are harder to find than boy or girlfriends.
2006-12-27 14:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No do not send the letter, then you are still going to spend time alone without any friends! Just accept this is going to happen. Lots of people your age are looking to settle down or want an intimate relationship and that will mean they will spend less time with friends. Surely you all go out to find girls? So do not get upset coz they have one and you don't. Maybe if they are still dating when you have a date you could do some double dates. But do not send the letter it is immature.
2006-12-27 14:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by Marmitemonster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey! i'm pretty much the same.
22, stay in a lot, & all the mates are out (or in) with their girlfriends.
what can you do?
i've known some of my mates for over 10 years, we've had some decent nights out, brilliant house parties... but once the girl gets in it's relegation time until they come cryin' or swearing they don't care that such and such happened and they want to go out on the town again...
i make a point to never do that. you have to invest in your mates if they're important to you. the girl come and go but your mates should be there for you no matter what.
there's nothing you can do about it. 'she' will always have more influence over them than you will.
sex is quite a bummer that way!
but it's all good. i'd just go out anyway, say you got displaced from your mates. it's less competition for the girls: you'll get rejected a few times, score a few times. it really is all good.
inevitably it'll be their turn to wonder what's going on...
2006-12-27 14:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cuz you ain't sleeping with them... don't stop contact with them, but move on to new friends. You are only 22... I am pretty sure you can go out, have fun, and enjoy life without your mates... find new mates... or find a girlfriend... or a boyfriend... whatever your preference... Don't give your friend a letter... it will only make things awkward between the two of you. Instead, ask him to set a specific time he can go get coffee... or lunch... then enjoy that time spent together...
2006-12-27 14:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because us men are weak when it comes too women...
in all serousness though dont end a friendship over a women because if she breaks his heart the first person they will always come back too is the friends that stick bye them. have you got a girlfriend if not then go find one you will understand why your mates spends so much time with her rather than you or your other mates..life always changes little bye little as you get older just cause a m8te of yours cant get enough of his girlfriend at the mo doesnt mean that his forgot about you it just means his willy is doing all the thinking for him at moment eventually the new experence will wear of and he'll be back around your house annoying you in know time thats just how mates are..it sucks i know but thats life ...
2006-12-27 15:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by mitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you should give him the letter, it would definitely ruin the friendship. This just happens to alot of people, people want to settle down and get a girlfriend and friends drift apart. I know I lost all my friends when I had a baby-it sucked but it wasn't from lack of me trying to stay friends with them. I'm sorry but it just happens. Try and meet a few new friends, you don't have to end your friendships anyway, just you wil not be able to see them as much as you would ike.
2006-12-27 14:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's because girl have a saying "boys come and go be friends are forever" and just try to hang around her friends too btw I'm a girl
2016-03-28 21:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a life fella!! Sounds to me like your mates are moving on and having a good time. Why don't you get a girlfriend of your own. Why is it you cant go out on your own? Stop sulking and get a life.
2006-12-27 20:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by simon m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's simply because they love her more than u n' it's common.....yes, u should give him the letter as long as u don't insult him.....or u can talk to him in person, that would be better...let your problem be heard n' don't forget to listen to his,too....sometimes, he can't make time for both n' it's not totally his fault....maybe his gf wanna spend more time with him??? why don't u plan a holiday with him together with his gf??? he has fun n' u also have fun, isn't it a good idea??? lol....
2006-12-27 17:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Marijuana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...Mr T...you're friends are what some people call p-u-s-s-y whipped!! It's a very serious condition that effects friendships, and if you want to give you're friend that letter you wrote go ahead. I have a question for you Mr T....Are you going to give you're friends what their GFs give em??? I don't think so.
2006-12-27 14:37:39 · answer #10 · answered by Queen of Scream Fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋