Christmas Day my husband and I went to see a movie, during the movie he got a call, then a text message. As I got up and walked around my seat I leaned over his should to see the text as well. But he quickly took it off the screen…as I asked him about it, he kept saying I gotta call the guy, etc,etc..as to try to get me to forget about the text. He told me this is what you saw, but it was not I told him I saw a message of two sentences….he got very angry at me and took his fists slamming them down on my dashboard in my car screaming and cursing at me, so hard the air vent controllers in the dashboard fell out and onto the floor!!! I was so afraid he was going to hit me so I started the car and while driving home, he said “you find the ******* message then!” and he THREW the PDA blackjack at me while I was driving, I did not see it coming but braced myself for a hit. It hit my leg and ended up between my seat and my door. After we got home he took my arm hugged me and said he was sorry.
2006-12-27 13:40:31 · 39 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's in the marine corp, what would happen if I told his superior?
2006-12-27 13:46:57 · update #1
This is abusive. One day he's going to be more hands-on. You might want to seek joint counseling if you plan to stay with this guy. If you have no kids and aren't pregnant, I'd plan on staying unpregnant until his temper issues are diagnosed as RESOLVED.
Sounds like you may have busted him. I'd be interested to see where that text came from. Any chance you could check his cell bill for December 25th? Such things can be revealing.
2006-12-27 13:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes l would say that it was physical abuse. The fact that he went off his tree about such a small incident makes me think that he had something to hide. He should never throw anything at you, ever !! Especially when you are driving as it could have caused a serious accident. He hugged you and said he was sorry !! So he should be, l would suggest he get some help with his anger issues. I personally would do some serious talking to him and ask him what all that was really about. Perhaps he has something else playing on his mind and if l was you, l would want to know exactly what it is. Best of luck to you
2006-12-27 13:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of a phisically abusive relationship and i can tell you that it started with yelling and throwing things and ended up with hitting and other forms of physical violence. Anger can snow ball and become violence it just depends on the person and their history. If it was me i'd find a way to say its not ok even when he says he's sorry and that if it becomes a habit it will be the end of the relationship. I stayed because i loved her but it continued to get worse. I don't know what the answer is but there must be a line and a consiquence. Above all don't let yourself become a victim.
2006-12-27 13:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by Hopless Romantic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people throw things in anger and while I don't believe that this incident was physical abuse, I believe that it may be the beginning of a physically abusive relationship and if any abuse is going on, it's emotional and verbal. The text message was obviously something that he did not want you to see. If I were you, I'd start to think of an escape plan just incase you need to get out of your house in a hurry. My impression of the situation is not good and you should feel that you are worth physical and emotional wellness. Good luck, Sweetie.
2006-12-27 13:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by CAITLIN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's physical abuse. He had no right to do it. I'd be concerned that he was up to something if he couldn't show you the text message. If he wasn't hiding anything then he'd have no prolbem showing you. You need to sit him down and have a heart to heart talk and possible get him some help for his temper before he gets really out of control. Or if he won't be up and honest with you then check his phone bill or messages yourself. He might be cheating on you and you need to know for sure. He has no right to throw things at you for any reason and if he does that then I won't put it apast him to actually hit you. He might of meant he was sorry but then again he might of been just covering it up. You need to find out what he's up to.
2006-12-27 13:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie it sounds like the guy has some real anger issues. Yes this is physical abuse, maybe in a less drastic form than most would categorize it. But remember verbal abuse is very harmful and serious also. Start finding an alternative or you might get hurt.
2006-12-27 13:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Becky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, is he always like this? does he have a big temper usually? it is, but i feel scared that next time he is mad his fist will hit your head instead of the dashboard. tell him you got scared when he did that, and that you love him. if he does hit you, file the divorce papers. he maybe hiding something. be very careful. good luck sweetie.
p.s.check out what was in that text. he really lost his cool about one text. find out why. if things worsen go to counseling. also get an escape plan ready, just in case. dont let him get away with it! sue him.
2006-12-27 13:49:57 · answer #7 · answered by :D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi ilih2006 !!!
GET OUT NOW!!!!! Look, I'm sure no body get's married to be treated like this, and for the way you are expressing you having being married that long!!!
I'm NOT going to reffer to him, rather I'll speak to you.
Questions you HAVE to ask yourself:
1. Do you think that he over reacted?
2. Did you feel desrespected?
3. Did you feel the terror of being punch or strike?
4. Do you want to live another day in fear?
5. Do you like to live another day controled by him?
6. Did you believe when he kissed you and hug you???
7. Why would you think about telling his superior, because you know the true intentions???
8. Are you willing to wait until next time, when it progresses to the point, you will be pretty hurt???
9. Are you already scare of him??? I know you are!!!
10. Are this the only things he has done to you??? NOT!!!
You deserve better, lying leads to cheatting, threatening you leads to control you, throughing and punching things leads to hurting and punching you!!! The facts.
You are in a damage relationship, where you can't trust, afraid to speak your mind, he just took over your defense onece you let him hug you and kissed you, like NOTHING HAPPENED.
Get out he is not cool. If he needs help, let him get the help he needs all by himself. On that time you'll learn many things about this guy.
We give ourselves to easily and to quick to love to later find out we have to pay the price and go through the torment, often by our selves for the shame and pain that it causes.
I most know, living in a second marriage, Domestic Violence, isolated and afraid.
DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF, GET OUT !!!!
But once you get out don't get back with him again, it is worst the second time around!!! I've being there.
And don't look back if he did it once he will continue doing it !!!
And everytime he will come back hug and kiss you,appologizing
like NOTHING HAPPENED!!!
Right now you are a victim, choose NOT TO BE A VICTIM!!!
Most victims don't survive, harsh, but is the truth. And when they survive like me, there's a long way to try to be yourself again, building up yourself esteem is NOT AN EASY TASK !!!
THE LONGER YOU WAIT THE WORST IT IS.
GOD BLESS YOU & HAPPY NEW YEAR
VERY CONCERN;
ALLIV Z
2006-12-27 14:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is physical abuse, he hit you with something, and it was on purpose. If he gets that pi**ed off from you just wondering about a text he is hiding from you, then you really need to get out of there. Either that, or tell him you think he might need some anger management, it's not healthy for someone to get really mad like that and it's not a good sign that he punched the sh*t out of your car like that, what if he decided to hit you instead of the car, it wouldn't have been a pretty site. it's up to you about what to do about it, but please be careful.
2006-12-27 13:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by smilest_16_2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive heard worse.
how long have you been together and how many times has he done this type of thing.
I remember punching the dashboard in my car once because I was angry at my wife, but I never hit her, she actually threw eggs at me one time when she was mad.
these are just small instances where the cops and social services don't need to be involved.
if this is behavior that seems to get worse and worse as time goes by then I would re-think things.
2006-12-27 13:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋